@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org cover
@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

davidpmaurer

@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org

cantankerous (and carnivorous) alien anthropologist, come to tell stories, write songs, and watch hoominity snuff it. (earth's soil is now 68% plastic. what did you think would happen?)

my avatar is my most recent hoomin skinsuit. my banner is a photo of the current scotus.

#writer #musician #composer #artist #grumpyoldman #politicaladdict

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

Strandjunker , to random
@Strandjunker@mstdn.social avatar

The United States owes Hillary Clinton a presidency.

davidpmaurer ,
@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@Strandjunker

fuck, no. we owe her NOTHING.

GottaLaff , to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

1/…🧵

Let’s start with this, via @darthstar, because NY has laws that govern . I heard the Legals on TV say the same thing as Sean here:

https://mastodon.online/@darthstar/112320741962522803

davidpmaurer ,
@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@GottaLaff

😂 o, that cheeky monkey. he might actually believe it, too.

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

When you have so much infidelity you have to set up a whole "program" to manage covering it up... and it keeps like 3 people employed just mopping up the messes.

davidpmaurer ,
@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@futurebird

and yet you are an obese orange ape.

alice , to random
@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

Hey you! Yeah 🫵 you.

How ya doin'?

Having a good Saturday?
Getting enough to eat?
Are you sleeping well?

Okay, just checking in on ya.

💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💕

davidpmaurer ,
@davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@alice

💟

alice , to random
@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice

    💟 sweet dreams.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    Mr. Laffy is on the phone with Verizon. My coverage will be spotty til Internet is back. She was excused.

    🧵1/…

    Via McBrien:

    The first potential juror of the day, who mentioned that her bad anxiety might prevent her from being fair and punctual, had said: "The more days that go on and more and more people in my life know that I'm here without me even telling them, they just put pieces together."

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    jail, please. jail jail jail. please.

    rbreich , to random
    @rbreich@masto.ai avatar

    Ginni Thomas was directly involved in efforts to overturn the 2020 election.

    Yet Clarence Thomas didn't recuse himself from arguments today in a case about the January 6 insurrection.

    How is this not a scandal of epic proportions?

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @rbreich

    frog. pot.

    rbreich , to random
    @rbreich@masto.ai avatar

    Excuse me but how is Louis DeJoy still postmaster general?

    His destructive 10-year plan for the Post Office—slowing mail delivery, hiking prices for consumers, and speeding up privatization—is in full effect.

    Hello?

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @rbreich

    who is on the post office board? specifically.

    luckytran , to random
    @luckytran@med-mastodon.com avatar

    Mass protest is foundational to democracy. This must not be allowed to stand. https://www.vox.com/scotus/24080080/supreme-court-mckesson-doe-first-amendment-protest-black-lives-matter

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @luckytran

    okay. they're the scotus - the court of last resort. how?

    Strandjunker , to random
    @Strandjunker@mstdn.social avatar

    I know there is a lot going on, but CIA agents were killed, captured, or compromised because Trump sold their names to our enemies.

    Just thought I should remind everyone of that.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @Strandjunker

    i remember. and so do the agencies he sold out.

    QasimRashid , to random
    @QasimRashid@mastodon.social avatar

    “Israel Has Declared Record Amount of West Bank Land as State-owned in 2024”

    This isn't self-defense. This isn't a counter to Hamas. This is de facto violation of international law.

    Would love for someone to explain how this is any different than Russia forcibly taking Ukrainian land?

    Go on. I’m waiting.

    https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/2024-04-11/ty-article/.premium/israel-has-declared-record-amount-of-west-bank-land-as-state-owned-in-2024/0000018e-c7a2-dd23-a3cf-e7a713c90000

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @Npars01

    there are simple solutions in both cases.

    GottaLaff , (edited ) to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    Fixed.

    Angry Staffer did his Q & A last night.

    Q: ..posts abt Trump’s calls to MBS, Kushner calls to Bibi. How concerned r u Trump's conducting shadow govt interfer in MidEast that works directly against Biden policy & war efforts in region?

    Angry:

    I’m pretty concerned abt it..also par for course w Trump-He started doing it b4 he was elected the first time, & he’s doing it now. It completely shreds precedent but I do worry that he’s trying to enflame tensions to make things worse for Biden

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    reagan did the same thing with iran during the hostage crisis while carter was president. they asked iran to keep the hostages until the election was over to ensure reagan won. so there is a history of it with the gop. if i recall correctly, rumsfeld and cheney were involved. none of the them were ever held to account or punished.

    we have lots of precedent for that when it comes to politicians. tons.

    alice , (edited ) to random
    @alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

    [Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice

    💟 i'm making turnovers. should i send you 2 a few? or some very old bourbon. maybe both.

    randahl , to random
    @randahl@mastodon.social avatar

    Some European politicians claim, we are not at war with Russia. But clearly, Russia is at war with us.

    https://www.ft.com/content/f8207823-f5e1-4caf-934d-67c648f807bf

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @randahl

    let's go 'interfere' with russia. we've already put microplastic in all the vodka. what should we do next?

    jeffowski , to random
    @jeffowski@mastodon.world avatar

    Justice is what love looks like in public.
    — Dr. Cornel West

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @jeffowski

    i love this wisdom.

    davidpmaurer , to random
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    can we 'unintentionally' bomb bibi? please?

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    🤐MSNBC- Judge Merchan expands the gag order in Donald 's hush money case to include family members of the court and of the DA's office

    ADDED via Kyle Griffin:

    This is a big win for Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    if he violates it - because we KNOW he will - can we FINALLY drag him to fremont, ohio, in the back of a pickup truck and drown him in heinz ketchup? PLEASE?

    or are not ready to say that part out loud yet?

    alice , (edited ) to random
    @alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

    I was feeling pretty low recently about myself and everything that's going on in the world, and I kinda yelled at the universe to go fuck itself.

    And it responded by throwing a wicked-smart and adorable enbyfriend at me.

    So, um, thanks universe...sorry I yelled at you. Turns out you can be pretty cool sometimes.

    In case you were wondering, it's @catsalad. Cat is the the wicked-smart and adorable enbyfriend I'm referring to :floofHeart:

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice 💟

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    Via (yes, I know, but this is a report that Lisa Rubin reposted) Maggie Haberman:

    After attacking over what court officials said was a hoax Twitter account that didn't belong to Justice Merchan's daughter, on Truth Social attacks the justice's daughter again, this time by name.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    duct tape. rolls and rolls of duct tape. and possibly a tranquilizer dart.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    : "For him, we are a satellite of Russian Federation. At the moment, it's us, then Kazakhstan, then Baltic states, then Poland, then Germany. At least half of Germany”

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ukraine-russia-war-zelenskyy-says-putin-will-threaten-nato-quickly-if-not-stopped/

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    hm. okay, let's annex . it's been a minute since we've overthrown a government, and we're clearly gettin' a little twitchy about it. plus i love stroganoff, borscht, and the baba yaga.

    alice , to random
    @alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

    Good night, Fedi. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning. 💕

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice

    good night, dpr.

    wdlindsy , (edited ) to random
    @wdlindsy@toad.social avatar

    "NBC stands for Now Boosting the Coup."

    ~ Mark Jacob


    /1

    https://www.stopthepresses.news/p/nbc-stands-for-now-boosting-the-coup

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @wdlindsy

    they are attempting to steal market share from fox to boost their viewership, share price, and the amount that they can charge for ad space.

    with hoomins, most things come down to money or hate.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    Via Pagliery: 1/…

    's lawyer, Chris Kise, asked Judge Cannon to watch the SCOTUS decision on pres immunity in his DC case.

    He wants her to drop Mar-a-Lago case entirely if high court decides to gift Trump this radical, sweeping power.

    Yesterday, Trump kept trying to get his Mar-a-Lago judge to disqualify DOJ Special Counsel .

    This time, he says the fact that Smith is prosecuting him in FL and DC shows that Smith has no financial constraints--and too much freedom.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    😂

    lowqualityfacts , to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    That's fair.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @lowqualityfacts

    it's idaho. fuck those spuds.

    ElleGray , to random
    @ElleGray@mstdn.social avatar

    you don't see people spontaneously combusting like we used to

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @ElleGray

    well, it's getting harder to trick them into staying put until the sun rises.

    alice , (edited ) to random
    @alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

    [Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice @BweeFluff

    bwee, come on - if alice says you're adorbs, it MUST be so. and if she says that things are going to be okay, they WILL be okay.

    (frankly, they wouldn't dare be anything else. she got the KUNG FU!)

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice

    right back atcha, yer majesty. i'm goin' to bed now. g'night.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @alice

    overdue, imho.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    🥵AFP- UN says 2014-2023 was hottest decade on record globally

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    ... so far.

    lowqualityfacts , to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Sometimes I rapidly blink for hours straight just to make it grow faster.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @lowqualityfacts

    this is my favorite so far.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    🤦🏻‍♀️Sen. Bob is considering running for re-election as an independent, sources say https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/sen-bob-menendez-considering-running-re-election-independent-sources-s-rcna143406

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff isn't he in prison YET?

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff pass the hat for gas money. i'll go get'im.

    lowqualityfacts , to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Ben Shapiro is the worst.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @lowqualityfacts

    the have no filter. they don't understand any thinking that is not their own. this actually works in hoomins' favor, as the scaled menaces are easily fooled. they also taste just like chicken.

    , are you listening? they don't even have to be brined!

    jeffowski , to random
    @jeffowski@mastodon.world avatar

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @jeffowski 💟

    Strandjunker , to random
    @Strandjunker@mstdn.social avatar

    For this year’s International Women’s Day, I would like to put it as simply as possible: Men should be happy that women want equality. Not revenge.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @Strandjunker

    amen.

    Strandjunker , to random
    @Strandjunker@mstdn.social avatar

    1923: Hitler’s coup failed. No real consequences, no changes. 10 years later, he and his co-conspirators took over Germany.

    2021: Trump’s coup failed. No real consequences, no changes. 3 years later, he’s running for president again and his co-conspirators are still in Congress.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @Strandjunker

    are you saying you will give a klondike bar to whomever rubs him out? maybe TWO klondike bars?

    😁

    mastodonmigration , to random
    @mastodonmigration@mastodon.online avatar

    Two days until the rapist running for US president has to pay $83.3 million dollars to the woman he raped and disparaged.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @mastodonmigration

    he's not going to pay.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @mastodonmigration

    and his legal team will challenge the lien, fully knowing that they will lose, with the sole intent of delaying payment until he becomes president, at which time he can - apparently legally - have her killed. or pardon himself of all crimes. again, apparently legally.

    welcome to the united states of america.

    jeffowski , to random
    @jeffowski@mastodon.world avatar
    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @jeffowski

    they are trying to shut them down using that same reasoning. paraphrasing george carlin, a dumb electorate is a COMPLIANT electorate.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    Fascists gotta fasc. (Btw, Haley didn’t… yet)

    “Mitch is endorsing for president, a move that the Senate GOP leader waited on making until after Trump's only main rival dropped out of the GOP primary.” https://www.politico.com/live-updates/2024/03/06/congress/mitch-for-donald-00145318

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @otownKim @GottaLaff

    believe it or not, things would get worse. martyrs are exactly what the rich men who own them are hoping for. there's even a rumor that putin has a plan to do it if trump strays from script.

    chrisramirez , to random
    @chrisramirez@mastodon.social avatar

    Rep. Swalwell should have charged a two-drink minimum for roasting Donald Trump during this week's impeachment hearing with Hunter Biden. 🍻

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @chrisramirez i LOVE this.

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    Via a follower on Threads.

    Sharing this again to get the word out…
    Click the link below to send a message to the . It only takes a minute or two out of your day so make your voice heard.

    https://www.supremecourt.gov/contact/contact_pio.aspx

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff done!

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    1/... MORE IN NEXT TOOT.

    Via Kyle Griffin:

    Reuters: DONALD LOSES BID TO DELAY ENFORCEMENT OF $454.2 MLN JUDGMENT IN NEW YORK CIVIL FRAUD CASE WHILE HE APPEALS - COURT RECORDS

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    he is not going to pay. and it's going to get ugly.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    the obese orange ape

    GottaLaff , to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    🤷🏻‍♀️ Now he knows how Daddy Dearest’s targets feel.

    Donald . receives death threat and white powder in envelope at Florida home

    A spokesperson for the former president's son said that test results of the substance were inconclusive but that authorities didn't believe it was deadly.

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/donald-trump-jr-receives-death-threat-white-powder-envelope-florida-ho-rcna140603

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff

    he snorted it anyway, didn't he?

    luckytran , to random
    @luckytran@med-mastodon.com avatar

    Moon Lander is all of us!

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @luckytran i told it not to drink the night before liftoff.

    susurros , to palestine group
    @susurros@kolektiva.social avatar

    "Desperate Palestinians rushing toward aid trucks to fetch food in central Gaza were forced to flee after Israeli troops opened fire on them amid the rapidly deteriorating humanitarian situation in the enclave.

    "Footage verified by Al Jazeera shows hundreds of Palestinians in Gaza City in the central part of the besieged enclave running to get food items delivered by the United Nations in boxes on the back of trucks as bullets are fired."

    https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/2/19/israeli-soldiers-fire-at-palestinians-approaching-aid-trucks-in-gaza

    @palestine

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @susurros @palestine it is time to stop giving money and weapons to israel.

    lowqualityfacts , to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Clint Eastwood has some very strong opinions on sexism.

    davidpmaurer ,
    @davidpmaurer@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

    @lowqualityfacts

    he is an authority on the subject because his history with women is on a par with mel gibson.

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