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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

I’m learning Japanese so sometimes I might write something out in romaji just to practice. Please correct it if it’s wrong!

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

Kolanaki ,
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The Apprentice

Whew... For a second there I thought they might have meant Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

Kolanaki ,
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The irony is that a video could technically be shorter than reading (you can speak and listen faster than writing and reading). Except that most video tutorials have 15-20 minutes of bullshit before it gets to the actual tutorial.

Kolanaki ,
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Let's see... that would be 2014... Uh... Fuck. Yeah, crypto is the only answer. 🤷🏻‍♂️

And more personally: I wouldn't get married. I wouldn't even go down the path that led me to meet my ex-wife. Fuck all that.

Kolanaki ,
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Someone should pull a Martin Luther and nail the part of the constitution that separates church and state to the entrance of the biggest school in the state.

Kolanaki ,
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Ahhh! My eyes! 🙈

Kolanaki ,
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Things have changed... There are tons of eco-friendly liquid fabric softeners now that don't have plastics or forever chemicals in them. Just don't use the sheets.

Kolanaki ,
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Never understood this. Why not raise the roosters for their meat and feathers and leave the hens for laying eggs?

Kolanaki ,
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Bottom energy.

Kolanaki ,
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Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up chicks worshippers.

Kolanaki ,
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Its him! John Dark Souls, protagonist of the hit series "Dark Souls."

Kolanaki ,
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what a bunch of bullshit. These games are still good now because they are timeless. the only thing of its era in these games is some of the bugs and the visuals; which a remake should fix. Honestly the only reason i would even want a remake is because i constantly get graphical glitches in the original releases and because i want a lot of the bugs fixed that aren't even fixed through community patches

Kolanaki ,
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I think when people ask for a remake they usually just mean a remaster, anyway. Unfortunately in practice they have different meanings. 🤔

Like, I don't want the games remade in a different vision with changes to plot, characters, or dialogue; I want the same games just brought up to modern standards. So technically, I want remasters.

Kolanaki ,
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One guy I installed internet for had like a whole theme park worth of model trains set up in his backyard. One of which was big enough for a kid to ride on. I wanted to ride it so bad but I'm a giant. 😩

He also had a arcade/game room with a shop area where he made his own arcade cabinets, air hockey tables, pinball machines, etc.

Dude's living my dream...

Kolanaki ,
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They're just sitting there. You can just scoop them up! There's no vegetation so it's all good. /s

(Might be different nodules; saw something about these things having cobalt and lithium for making batteries but they're also located in one of the most pristine parts of the ocean)

Kolanaki ,
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Spaceballs 2: Rise of the Space Zombies

Kolanaki ,
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What about

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/c68c2e0e-d390-4a0a-8168-61b4c884d22f.jpeg

???

Kolanaki ,
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Me: imagines very tiny patio furniture carved from nuts

Kolanaki ,
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Tom Cardy is the man. He's got stuff on Spotify I've never seen on YouTube/TikTok, too.

Kolanaki ,
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Unless a random number of ads are injected into the video that changes every time it's viewed... Which is how they already work aside from being directly part of the video stream.

Kolanaki ,
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I'm guessing poorly. I have BPD myself. She loved you up until she hated you.

Kolanaki , (edited )
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FlyingSquid, The Picard Maneuver, Ummthatguy, SatansMaggotyCumFart, SPECULATOR, KonalaKoala, SHEEPLE, ParabolicMotion (infamous), El_Burrito, FartsWithAnAccent...

There's more that I recognize but mostly by their avatars and not their names.

Kolanaki ,
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At least someone in here appreciates me.

Kolanaki ,
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He only seems to remember people who kiss his ass or have talked shit directly to his face.

Kolanaki ,
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Don't limit the guy. He can have romantic moments with men, too.

Kolanaki ,
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Pressure! Pushing down on me, pushing down on you

If only the famously homophobic US military hadn't become less homophobic 10 years ago! THEN there wouldn't be centuries of history of homophobia in The Global South(tm) ( lemmy.world )

Goodness, I almost had a dangerous thought, like "The struggles we experience in Western countries largely have analogues in non-Western countries" instead of "Every Problematic Opinion(tm) held by non-Western societies is The West's fault"

Kolanaki ,
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Queer people are... Drones?

Why didn't anyone tell me? I could have been flying around and shit! 😩

Kolanaki ,
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Just replace OP with "corrupt supreme Court justices"

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/3dce407e-6bf1-4da3-9606-20323c741eac.png

Kolanaki ,
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We had RedBox (still do maybe somewhere?) but I always wanted to see RedTubeBox. 😏

Kolanaki ,
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Damn. First time I've seen a separator both fail and succeed simultaneously.

Kolanaki ,
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Just send 2 army guys to conquer them.

Kolanaki ,
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He's just there so history books can say they used an army twice the size of the opposition.

Kolanaki ,
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Was about to go down on a girl when the smell of her snatch stopped me. Her kitty straight up smelled like a dirty litter box. 🤢

Kolanaki ,
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Go down on girl

Snatch smells like litterbox

Become gay

Go down on guy

Hasn't wiped

"I'm asexual now."

Who tried to steal Graceland? ( www.nbcnews.com )

The search for the mysterious company behind a scheme to steal Elvis Presley’s Graceland estate ended last week, not in Nigeria--where initial clues seemed to lead--but at the front door of “a grandmother in Branson, Missouri, a con woman with a decades long rap sheet of romance scams, forged checks and bank fraud...

Kolanaki ,
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I was thinking maybe Kevin Costner because I forgot what the plot to 3000 Miles to Graceland is but I remember he was a thief or a con man or something. 🤔

Kolanaki ,
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Where are you getting lab grown meats?

Kolanaki ,
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I can totally edit an encyclopedia. Just cross shit out and write in whatever I want with whiteout and a pen.

Kolanaki ,
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I know the seasoning packets say to drain the fat from the hamburger after browning, but it always leaves it so dry. I never drain the fat out or add water and I let it all marinate for at least an hour before serving. It's so, so much better.

Kolanaki ,
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Best part: Not much work.

Worst part: Not much pay.

Kolanaki ,
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If you wanna cut the circulation off to your wang, just hold it tighter. That way you can just let go and not need to go to the hospital.

Kolanaki ,
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Instructions unclear: Hand silicone caulked to my cock.

Kolanaki ,
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"Caulked cock five times fast."

Easy.

Kolanaki ,
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mysteriously cuts for some reason

It's no mystery why they would cut where they did... They don't want to show the actual death on air.

Kolanaki ,
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CORN

Kolanaki ,
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Man. Even the damn stars are turning into crabs.

Kolanaki ,
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Easily Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas for me.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive. . . ." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Most books start off fairly slow but this one hits the ground running after doing cocaine and jumping out of a fuckin' jet.

Kolanaki ,
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You hear that, Ron? Bears. Now you're putting the whole hive at risk!

Kolanaki ,
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I've used Liftoff, Boost, Raccoon, Summit and Jerboa.

I liked Liftoff but it stopped being updated after the dev posted about having a kid.

Boost has ads unless you pay and I didn't like it enough compared to other options to make that worthwhile.

Raccoon has a host of customization options and I like it but, IDK, it just feels weird and I can't really describe why.

Summit has the best features, but I prefer Jerboa's interface. So I switch between these two a lot depending on what I'm doing.

Kolanaki ,
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Someone who doesn't spend a lot of time with me would be better off giving me cash.

Someone like my dad or siblings should know enough about me to give a personal gift. At least my brother knows me well enough to do that. 😮‍💨

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