vaquedoso ,

I've already commented this down below, so i'll just copy paste here.

I suppose it depends if you are using it correctly or not. I've used a bidet all my life, and where i live bidets are a separate bowl from the toilet, made from the same materials, and virtually every household has one. I've never had a problem of it not cleaning enough

Afterwards i'll just dry a bit with a towel specifically used for that

Here's an image. You can see the bidet has a kind of jet of water coming upwards with force, exactly below where you would sit. You can regulate the intensity and if done properly you can clean yourself completely https://images.app.goo.gl/6w3EMWrAk34DBwJd7

baggachipz OP ,

Yeah that link is gonna stay blue.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/dbf6dc99-380f-4cf1-8b4c-297cd7510240.jpeg

vaquedoso ,

I'm sorry, i didn't know i could insert images directly, thanks!!

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

one of the nice things about Lemmy over Reddit.

fogstormberry ,

follow-up question. how do you deal with ice cold water in the pipes? do you have to turn on the tap every time you sit down to get the hot water going?

HarbingerOfTomb ,

You get used to it. Only the fancy ones have hot water at all. Cold water is just fine.

Vanth ,
@Vanth@reddthat.com avatar

Hot water isn't even that fancy anymore. My ~$30 Amazon bidet ties into both hot and cold taps. I just let it run slow enough to not hit my butt as I'm pooping, which is more than enough time to flush the tubes with warm water, then crank the pressure up to reach my ass with a warm spray. No icy shock needed.

No electricity needed, purely pressure from the water lines and a mechanical valve.

skeezix ,

I was looking at that one. But opted for the unit with cheek retraction, auto-aim, and testicle cup.

DudeDudenson ,

In my experience your asshole puckering because of the winter cold wayer is counter productive to cleaning effectively, but If it's the only option it's still better than just TP. You just have to do a first dry with TP (pat don't drag) and do a spot check at the same time. Sometimes you have to go for a second round if the spot check fails

HarbingerOfTomb ,

I don't have that problem I guess

tenchiken ,

An extra $10 and you can get a model that can pull from a hot water line under a nearby sink. Then you get a dial to adjust the temp.

A little extra work putting in, but worth it for folks with scar tissue from surgery etc.

To purge the line, most have a self clean that gets the water from the heater ready simply enough.

jeena ,
@jeena@piefed.jeena.net avatar

Mine heats the seat and the water with electricity. They are not so much more expensive but what a comfort, especially in the winter.

isolatedscotch ,

we have a standalone bidet, not the toilet bowl attachment, which is basically a mini sink, and it works like a sink in that you can regulate flowrate and temperature with the handle

Evkob ,
@Evkob@lemmy.ca avatar

I bought the fancier model that can connect to the sink for hot water and never bothered setting it up, you get used to the cold water fast enough.

I honestly like it, a blast of cold water up the ass perks me up better than coffee in the mornings.

skeezix ,

Hey there big fella.

ValenThyme ,

refer to it as bracing and pretend I have a high constitution

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

It's gonna depend on your preferences. Around here, the water can start out around 40ish(Fahrenheit) before it bumps up a little as the water that isn't in the pipes exposed to the cold comes along. So we're talking a bit cold, but not ice cold.

That's during winter. At this time of year, the water stays around 50ish, which is quite pleasant most of the time. It feels cool, but not uncomfortable.

Obviously, the temp of the water is going to depend on what the pipes are exposed to. Around here, we have crawlspaces under houses, which means you only have a few yards of pipes exposed to the air to get cold. The rest is underground, where temps stay fairly steady. If you have more exposed piping, the duration of the cold water will be longer.

So, I don't even use the hot water at all, despite having it as an option. The regular water temp is nice for my preferences.

isolatedscotch ,

Copying the text from another comment i made here:

I have a standalone bidet, not the toilet bowl attachment, which is basically a mini sink, and it works like a sink in that you can regulate flowrate and temperature with the handle

https://discuss.tchncs.de/pictrs/image/2e05a4bf-c20c-4d0f-83dd-0c3168cfd75a.jpeg

with this kind, you have 100% cleanliness since you use your hand to clean everything, and after it there's a mini-towel for each person, usually in a towel rack near the bidet so no-one gets confused, and usually in a smaller size then normal towels.

If you're worried about the idea of using your hand being unhygienic, rest assured, there's a radical invention called washing your hands afterwards, which, by the way, you should do anyways even if you use toilet paper.

Feathercrown ,

This is actually demented

sneezycat ,
@sneezycat@sopuli.xyz avatar

What's demented is guys scratching their crotch and wanting to give me a high five afterwards

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

hey, smell this.

Empricorn ,

Do you live in a toxic fraternity!?

dustyData ,

People would rather have a filthy body than touch their own bumhole. I don't get it, it is your own body, what is so icky when you are in the process of cleaning it? Would you rather live with a stinking baby with a dirty diaper, or change the diaper and have a clean space? Same thing, just deal with the thing asap and be done with it. This is why we invented soap. I swear to god this is same people who would scratch their navel then smell their fingers, or would eat earwax, but won't touch their bums in a shower because it is gay. Guys would decry bidets but then go eat ass and pussy without a hint of self-awareness.

Feathercrown ,

None of this explains why it's not cleaner to use toilet paper than your hand after using a bidet...?

dustyData ,

You don't use your hand afterwards, you use your hand to wash along with the bidet, then you dry with TP or a towel. It is not demented. It is just washing like how you are supposed to wash when you shower.

rishado ,

I learned some time ago that some Americans just will never be ready for the bidet conversation, just let those people live in filth

stephen01king ,

Because dry spreading your poop with toilet paper is not cleaner than washing your butt together with water.

Feathercrown ,

Not what I said. Bidet + TP vs bidet + hand

stephen01king ,

Ah, I see, I thought the bidet part only relates to your second option, there. I guess one reason to use your hands is that in some countries, toilet paper is not commonly provided, so it's not always an option.

Feathercrown ,

Yeah it would be cheaper I suppose, that's fair

rishado ,

No one only uses their hands guys. You use your hands in tandem with the running water to get all the shit off. Then you wipe with TP (modern) or a towel (more common before TP).

rishado ,

No one only uses their hands guys. You use your hands in tandem with the running water to get all the shit off. Then you wipe with TP (modern) or a towel (more common before TP).

Bahalex ,

Read the comment with instructions man. Wipe with toilet paper first, as normal. Then wash with soap and water. Then dry with a towel. If you’re smearing poop all over everything you’ve got other issues to work out.

To answer your question, it is cleaner than just using toilet paper because you are wash with soap and water after you use the toilet paper. If you manage to get poop all over the towel when you’re done washing, then TP alone was never going to suffice.

rishado ,

Literally the whole world did this before we had pressurized bidets.

SuspiciousCatThing ,

What the fuck.

jqubed ,
@jqubed@lemmy.world avatar

I saw one like this at a hotel in Austria once and was trying to figure out how to use it. I couldn’t figure out how the water stream was supposed to spray and clean coming out the side like that. Do you almost lay on it, face down or on your back to get it to spray your bum clean?

It never occurred to me that the spray wouldn’t be used to clean at all.

ValenThyme ,

oh no I thought this was a courtesy water bottle filler for my room 🤮

jqubed ,
@jqubed@lemmy.world avatar

When I was six or eight my parents were looking at houses and one had a bidet in the master suite bathroom, the kind that sprays up from the bottom of the bowl. I legitimately thought it was a water fountain for drinking and excitedly pointed it out to my parents. They did not buy that house.

DudeDudenson ,

Sitting next to the toilet??

gigachad ,

Why are people so confused about this comment? I live in a backward society that does not use bidets. However those from the image are the only ones I know from Spain. What is wrong about them? Or is it the hand thing? If yes, what is the alternative? Please, can somebody explain, I am serious.

isolatedscotch ,

they probably mean the Japanese style ones where you attach a seat to the toilet bowl, and on e you are done a small tube comes out and shoots water up

yea I don't know how those are popular either

JackFrostNCola ,

I tried the fancy japanese robot toilets when i went there. I thoroughly enjoyed them.

Heated seats ✅
Music to cover up sounds ✅
Deoderiser fan ✅
Adjustable bidet squirt level from 1-7 ✅
'front bum' bodet for the ladies ✅
Heated seat ✅

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

Any bidet is better than no bidet. The hand ones are great. But the Japanese ones with zero hand contact minimizes the potential for fecal-oral contact even more, just in case someone doesn't do a great job washing their hands in a hospital or food service setting.

Side note, it really irritates me when people take a shit, wet their hands, and leave. Wash your hands with soap and water. It takes 20 seconds.

If you don't, you are now slinging potential shit water everywhere.

BaroqueInMind ,

You touch your bare shit covered ass?

I bought a cheap $30 Chinese bidet that uses water pressure to blast the shit crust off without touching anything or even getting off the toilet seat, then I wipe dry with TP.

Your setup looks and sounds barbaric.

isolatedscotch ,

You touch your bare shit covered ass?

Yes, absolutely, and then I proceed to wash my hands because I'm not a Neanderthal

it might look and sound barbaric but it feels amazibg

BaroqueInMind ,

I'm only kidding about the barbarism; any use of any bidet elevates people above others. You are likely sophisticated, intelligent and attractive for simply removing the chance of "swamp ass" completely out of the equation, regardless of your methods.

Bahalex ,

I’ve got a menthol minty butt soap. For the small price of washing myself I get a refreshing, lingering blast of arctic freshness on those hot ‘n humid downstairs jungle days. It may still get swampy, but for a few extra moments- it’s glorious.

SpaghettiYeti ,

Agreed.. the pressure cleans everything. Why use your hands at all?

HKPiax ,
@HKPiax@lemmy.world avatar

Every time the bidet thing comes up, people are just DUMBFOUNDED by it. The sentiment is always “you smear shit all over your hands??” lmao.

No, first thing is you wipe thoroughly, then you use it aiming the faucet tangent to the bumhole, and with liquid soap on your hand, you clean it. Water is constantly flowing above your hand and against your hole, with soap on every contact surface.
Afterwards, you wash your hands in the sink like normal.

Never had my hands smell like shit, never.

skeezix ,

Even so, no way I’m shaking your hand pal.

mysticpickle ,

Jesus Christ. I'm afraid to shake anyone's hand now 🤢

scytale ,

I assure you, people who bother to wash their asses with a bidet and soap using their hands definitely wash their hands with soap and water afterwards and are cleaner than people who don't use a bidet.

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

This type is pretty good, but for food service workers, hospitals, and retirement homes, I'd prefer the hands-free ones with wide nozzles and oscillating sprayheads. Norovirus is a stupidly contagious GI bug, and for healthcare and food service, I want as little fecal-oral contamination as possible. Hand washing is great, but some people are terrible handwashers, and minimizing the potential vectors as much as possible is always appreciated.

Toilet paper itself is already pretty unsanitary. I wish all food service places had bidets for this reason alone.

win95 ,
@win95@lemmy.zip avatar

Wipe - spray - wipe. Toilet paper is fine.

SendMePhotos ,

Am I doing it wrong? I just do spray - wipe.

win95 ,
@win95@lemmy.zip avatar

I guess it depends on the consistency of your stool. Wouldn't want to blast brown soup all over, y'know.

Donebrach ,
@Donebrach@lemmy.world avatar

Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

PenisWenisGenius ,

  1. Because it's a funny haha bathroom post

  2. if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

  3. Actually I'm a lemmy user, I use Arch btw, live in my mom's basement, I've never been on a date and I never go outside. Of course I've never used water to bathe before.

Sentau , (edited )

if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

No. The purpose of the bidet is to properly clean your posterior which cannot be achieved with toilet paper alone. Also the amount of toilet paper needed to dry is lower than the amount needed to 'clean'

OmnislashIsACloudApp ,

this 1000%

you use only like 1 or 2 tp (or flushable wipes) after bidet.

is way more to get less clean otherwise

EatATaco ,

No such thing as a flushable wipes. It's just defective marketing. Plus there is no need to use one after the bidet. Toilet paper is perfectly fine to dry.

OmnislashIsACloudApp ,

yeah they definitely need to improve degradation time, but there absolutely is reason to use them instead of TP.

I don't use all the time but tried them during recovery based on the recommendation of the surgeon that removed my hemorrhoids.

significantly easier on the healing bum than tp was, bidet gets most of it but you're not 100% clean every time.

(I don't think I've ever not had to wipe a time or two even after lots of movement and higher pressure on bidet. wipes clean better than tp, and bidet just doesn't get everything unless you're one of those lucky people that wouldn't use much tp anyway)

EatATaco ,

I'm not saying they aren't better, what I'm saying is they aren't flushable. If they don't clog up your system, they fuck up your septic tank, or the city system.

If you have legitimate medical reason to use them, knock yourself out, but otherwise they should be avoided. And stop calling them flushable because they aren't. They're just wipes.

EatATaco ,

My response is always "if you get shit on your hand, do you just rub it with some paper and call it a day?" Usually people get it at that point.

skeezix ,

Who was the comedian who said that?

EatATaco ,

Not sure where I picked it up.

BradleyUffner ,

Tell you what. You drop a nice creamy dump on your floor, then try to get it clean with dry toilet paper. Let us know how it goes.

lud , (edited )

You don't shit on yourself though, or at least I hope so.

You only wipe away the residue and not the entire shit

BradleyUffner ,

The residue of shit is still shit.

naught101 ,

I feel like this comment could be applied in many diverse contexts.

lud ,

Yes, but your comparison was shit.

bitchkat ,

two sheets versus a couple of giant wads? You're definitely reducing your TP usage.

ameancow ,

if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

The purpose of a bidet isn't necessarily to make toilet paper unnecessary, it's to clean properly. Before getting a bidet I would just step into the shower and use the removable shower head to wash my ass with a little soap and warm water, towel off after, bam super clean. I still do that, but now the bidet can save a step if I'm in a hurry.

Basically, try this experiment. (Quoted from some comedian) Smear some poop on the back of your hand. Then wipe it with dry paper and nothing else. Do you feel clean? Ready to go through the day? Of course not! You want to actually wash that off, and that's the pleasant feeling from using a stream of water to feel thoroughly clean, not just removing residue but getting up in there into the outer wrinkles of the butthole, reduces the chance of getting the itchies later.

(This is particularly of consequence if there is ANY chance whatsoever of ending up naked with another person. You might not notice it, but other people would get hit with a musk the moment your underwear drops, and not the nice kind.)

ameancow ,

Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

I feel like some people were never given actual hygiene instructions from their parents growing up. I can only imagine the way some people are so hung up on genitals and waste products that they can't even think about it, those kinds of people going on to have kids... do we really think they're going to pass on useful information on self-care?

And it's not like there's tons of social messaging and helpful guides all over the place on proper bathroom habits, it's purely a passed-down skillset.

Every time this comes up on reddit, there are a lot of people sharing stories about knowing men who literally don't wipe their own ass or touch it while showering and just constantly walk around with shit all over their ass. I used to think it was a meme, but then met people in real life who also had encounters with men who thought touching their own ass would "make them gay."

So yah, people getting anxious about using a bidet? That tracks. I think a lot of people are at very least, just anxious because they've never really been shown anything and might be doubting their own habits. Basically the bathroom and poop and related topics are just this mysterious realm that nobody talks about. Insecurity over our most intimate and private acts is a tradition as old as time itself.

Macaroni_ninja ,
@Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world avatar

I invested in one of those super fancy "smart" toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.

I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.

Its the fanciest thing I own.

KreekyBonez ,

what's on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?

Subverb ,

I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.

Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:

  • Start/Stop
  • Water temperature
  • Seat temperature
  • Water pressure
  • Angle of nozzle
  • Oscillator
  • Turbo mode
  • Air dryer
  • Deodorizer
  • Children's mode
  • Women's hygiene mode
  • Default run duration timer setting
  • Power save mode
KreekyBonez ,

I promise there's no scoffing here! I love my analog bidet, and am always on the lookout for an upgrade, if the price is right. Especially if it can be fitted to a standard american toilet.

Happily taking recommendations, if you have any. The features you listed sound refreshing, relaxing, and somewhat intimidating. Which, to be clear, I'm into.

KinglyWeevil ,

But what I really want is for it to say "Arigato Daddy-sama (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)" after I shit in it

Macaroni_ninja ,
@Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world avatar

The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.

Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.

  • Some settings like when to open the seat/lid, when to

I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.

TokenBoomer ,

I have one too, I’m on it now.

TokenBoomer ,

You can get one that dries with hot air.

irotsoma ,
@irotsoma@lemmy.world avatar

One piece of toilet paper. Just enough to get it mostly dry.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.

saltesc ,

This has always disturbed me. As a non-bidet user, when I have used them (a dozen or so times) an additional final sweep has definitely been required. And yet so many bidet users are adamant everything is magically 100% clean. I now just assume they're walking around oblivious to a spot of wet mud peppered around the rim of their margherita.

ABCDE ,

You bidet it clean enough, then use your hand to wash your backside, then dry.

Delta_V ,

What, and I can't stress this enough, the fuck?

boatsnhos931 ,

I think it's a Muslim thing

MudMan ,
@MudMan@fedia.io avatar

Is it?

Are we in one of these social media posts where we rediscover that a bunch of people have not been washing their bums in the shower for their entire lives and we have to carry on living with that knowledge?

Ephera ,

This is not about the shower. There's different kinds of bidets. Some just sprinkle your nether regions. Others are a full-blown sink for you to scrub yourself. And yet others are the so-called "bum guns", where you've got a hose next to your toilet to sploosh it away.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

bum guns are the...

shit.

(••) , ( ••)>⌐■-■ , (⌐■_■)

YEEEEAAAHH!

MudMan ,
@MudMan@fedia.io avatar

Water on your bum is water on your bum. If the caveat is that magical built-in bidets don't need a scrub (as much), why is your reply to my post and not the "muslim thing" guy? Wouldn't it apply equally to both?

Ephera ,

I just thought, you got confused, because you mentioned the shower. I figured, maybe you're not aware of the bidets where one can reasonably wash their whole bums. If you weren't confused, then carry on. 🙃

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Yes. Wash your hands, wash your ass isn't as common as you might expect in North America. It also isn't just a "Muslim thing" as you point towards. That invalidates Muslim beliefs and customs as well as reducing the pervasive and varying global cultural etiquettes around cleaning one's self after bodily functions. A wide swath of north americans are only taught the toilet paper wipe bit.

MudMan ,
@MudMan@fedia.io avatar

Hey, I do get that bidets aren't culturally well established everywhere, and even in bidet areas they don't often come with detailed instructions, so usage habits are kinda random.

But that's why I went to the shower bit instead. I would hope cleaning your nethers when you shower is a universal habit, or at least as much of one as washing your hands after a trip to the toilet.

But hey, maybe permanently sweaty, poopy undercarriages are just... you know, "an American thing"? I don't know.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Showers, bidets, ass rags, tp, hands, whatever combination follows the wash your hands, wash your ass ethos to get the job done. Your skin will thank you.

daltotron ,

This is the case with many countries where toilet paper is cheap and shitty and will clog the hundred years old shared plumbing systems which probably drains into the same system as the rainwater drainage. They still have plumbing systems, though, so some form of bidet is still viable. So, wash with your left, eat with your right, as is common in india. Not too big of a problem, I'd say, so long as you have soap and water to wash your hand afterwards and you do a thorough job, and maybe also have a diet where you're not shitting your brains out every time, and maybe also have a shaved asshole or something, but yeah.

treeofnik ,
@treeofnik@discuss.online avatar

Oof what a visual

Vanth ,
@Vanth@reddthat.com avatar

Learning curve to start, possibly above average messes on occasion? It took all of three days to get the hang of mine. The TP is just to dry, it never comes back dirty anymore unless I am having serious distress.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

People are different, some folks are hairy, some folks aren't. I am unclear as to why this is "disturbing".

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

My hot take is that everyone should be shaving their asshole, maybe even their crack. If your ass looks like someone slammed a wig in a suitcase, you need to trim that shit before extruding play-doh though it.

You cannot get that hair 100% clean, especially if shit dries in it.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah no. Soap exists.

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

You wash your ass every time you take a shit, even when at work? :P

skeezix ,

Most people shit the same time every day. If you just nudge your shit cycle to be right before your daily shower then all this hassle goes away

dogsnest ,
@dogsnest@lemmy.world avatar

You should advertise for a tutor.

Seriously, this is NOT difficult.

Dabundis ,

I think of it as being (sorta) similar to spraying and wiping down a dirty countertop. The spray alone isn't going to get it fully clean, but it makes the wipe about a thousand times more effective at finishing the job.

jeena ,
@jeena@piefed.jeena.net avatar

I personally can feel it if the water went everywhere and enough. I never had brown on the tp afterwards. You probably don't wash long enough or too low preassure or no movement, etc.

I can see that for a beginner there are things to figure out on how to use it efficiently. Sa.e as beginner of tp usage.

dohpaz42 ,
@dohpaz42@lemmy.world avatar

It took me a little bit to figure out, but it’s all about the “aim” of the spray. If you’re not positioned just right, it might not be washing the area completely. But when it does, it’s so satisfying seeing a clean piece of wet tp.

Ephera ,

My experience has been that it makes the perimeter squeaky-clean, but obviously with a finger, you can do some digging. And if you dig deep enough, there's always going to be mud.

And also in my experience, this digging doesn't actually help. You've got a great gate down there. If the outside of that gate is clean, you're clean. Digging out from behind that gate doesn't do much, because new mud will push up against it pretty soon.

vaquedoso , (edited )

I suppose it depends if you are using it correctly or not. I've used a bidet all my life, and where i live bidets are a separate bowl from the toilet, made from the same materials, and virtually every household has one. I've never had a problem of it not cleaning enough

EDIT: Here's an image. You can see the bidet has a kind of jet of water coming upwards with force, exactly below where you would sit. You can regulate the intensity and if done properly you can clean yourself completely https://images.app.goo.gl/6w3EMWrAk34DBwJd7

Kecessa ,

It's certainly much cleaner than just spreading it with paper...

skeezix ,

Which is like trying to wipe peanut butter off a counter top with just a dry paper towel.

Bocky ,

If you have mud, your gi tract is not as healthy as it could be. Bidets are not designed to clean Peanut butter of carpet

Fuzzy_Red_Panda ,

You have created a mental image that cannot be undone. I hope you're happy.

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

Depends on the nozzle size and whether you get one that oscillates, not all are built equally. Mine is always sparkling. Can confirm this on another person, as a corollary of dating, haha.

My bidet has enough power to strip spraypaint off concrete, lol.

dogsnest ,
@dogsnest@lemmy.world avatar

Realise that you can spray a few minutes before you rise from the seat (especially if someone on lemmy is WRONG, and you need to thumb a reply!)

You'll be surprised at how little tp you'll need!

Also, you're allowed to repeat, jic!

rah ,

especially if someone on lemmy is WRONG, and you need to thumb a reply!

🤣

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

like RaulDook! 🤦‍♂️

Sabata11792 ,
@Sabata11792@ani.social avatar

Pooping solo, a roll of TP will last me a month or two. A pack of TP will last well over a year.

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Gosh, I hope everyone poops solo. 🫢

TheAlbatross , (edited )

I hope that one day you too can share a connection with a special someone or someones where you never have to poop alone.

You are valuable, loveable and you deserve this

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Different stokes for different folks.

ValenThyme ,

no we share the bidet!

apfelwoiSchoppen ,
@apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world avatar

Who's this we you speak of? 😶‍🌫️

ValenThyme , (edited )

whoever i'm doin' a dooduet with

that's why it's called a number Two btw

GR_Pete ,

https://midwest.social/pictrs/image/6f01571f-d3ce-4915-ab4a-5d450c7b1d33.jpeg

Sabata11792 ,
@Sabata11792@ani.social avatar

I mean that no one else but me is using the ass loafs.

RecluseRamble ,

Let me introduce you to the Donnerbalken.

Odo ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/906cdb41-3e5c-4532-9cfb-917135dde876.mp4

wjrii ,

For anyone with a sewer system built for TP, this is an ideal workflow. Poops and poopers are not identical, and bidets are not magical. Trust but verify, friends.

JubilantJaguar ,

Pet peeve. Whatever three-quarters of the world seems to believe, any sewerage system can handle TP. That is: real TP has almost zero fiber integrity, it literally turns to goop on contact with water. Goop that has no more structural consistency than an average pile of sh*t. If still in any doubt then just make sure to flush it in single sheets, each one will be a pea-sized ball of goop. This misunderstanding seems to be purely cultural. I've been to a ton of developing countries, all with the usual dodgy sewerage systems and narrow-bore pipes. Yet only some of them, notably Latin America, have the disgusting cultural norm of TP bins. The rest understand that there is a difference between TP and paper towels designed for the kitchen and your face. TP is always flushable, by design.

Fuzzy_Red_Panda ,

And generally, baby wipes, bottom wipes and face wipes aren't safe to flush, even if they say flushable on the package. If they were safe to flush, you wouldn't be able to pull out a wet sheet from the package; it would be goo.

Shizrak ,

The cheap toilet paper can be submerged in water for like 48 hours before breaking down. So for many who only buy the cheapest, clogging pipes is a reality. Their own fault, but still.

Kattiydid ,

I try not to blame individuals for the failure of systems, especially ones as exploitative and damaging as capitalism. Why blame the people who can only afford the cheapest toilet paper when you could blame the corporation that made the cheapest toilet paper clog toilets? The people with the least money have the most negative repercussions. How are they supposed to know it clogs toilets without having to learn the hard way? Why wouldn't you assume that toilet paper would all be equally safe to flush no matter how cheap it is?

daltotron ,

I mean you could always just wipe your ass, leave the TP in the bowl for like 48 hours, and then flush it, but then that kinda seems unsustainable unless everyone has their own toilet and only needs to poop every 48nhours which isn't gonna be the case in a poor country I bet.

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

I thought it was natural, but it turns out TP is using PFAS so that it disintegrates as much as possible. That was kind of a bummer to learn. :/

Churbleyimyam ,

Wtf. Just looked this up and you're right. It seems like literally everything contains either toxic chemicals or plastics, unless you made it yourself without them.

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

Yeah, that was a bit depressing. The PFAS make it a lot more water soluble. My guess is that old TP didn't break down very well at all, and was kinda splintery (or at least more paper-y).

Luckily, the bidet removes much of that as long as you don't use TP. And for those that have bad pipes or a septic system, I think a bidet is an invaluable part of saving you lots of money, since you aren't packing extra material down the pipes.

naught101 ,

Whoa..

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/mar/13/toxic-forever-chemicals-pfas-toilet-paper

Rhynoplaz ,

This is the way.

shortypants ,

Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.

Actually though, just dab with TP. You'll use much less TP and not need "flushable" wipes that still clog your main sewage line

Bosht ,

Got a solid chuckle out of me man, thanks. Needed that.

surewhynotlem ,

I know you're joking, but i think I'd enjoy a Dyson ass dryer.

werefreeatlast ,

Technically, why not?

overcast5348 ,

Because the butthole is sensitive and repetitive exposure to heat can cause issues.

werefreeatlast ,

No heat, imagine just a hand holdable blower with a complimentary vacuum to suck in everything blown away. Like at the dentist. The dentist makes a mess in your teeth while the assistant uses a little vacuum tube to clean it all up.

Luci ,
@Luci@lemmy.ca avatar

Be sure to grab extra batteries and keep one on the charger. Trust me

naught101 ,

I wonder when Dyson is going to bring out their arse-sized airblade?

Buddahriffic ,

I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn't always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.

Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.

NaoPb ,

This is the information we need but wouldn't dare to ask.

RampantParanoia2365 ,

.....toilet paper...?

Wipe, rinse with bidet, then wipe again to dry.

psivchaz ,

Why pre-wipe? This feels like washing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

RampantParanoia2365 ,

So you don't splatter little bits of crap god knows where. The reason we use the bidet is because wiping isn't enough, so it's not redundant.

SirQuackTheDuck ,

Rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher is actually a good idea if the dishes are very dirty though...

habitualcynic ,

Scraping is definitely needed, but you might be able to make some changes to save water and time. Sharing this from Technology Connections, this guy saved me so much dish pre washing time!

tiredofsametab ,

Wiping first is just going to smear shit around and, if you have a hairy ass, get it more into the hair. Skip the pre-wipe and it will be just fine.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

My bidet does not shoot at my whole ass. It only laser focuses on certain parts, which I dry with toilet paper.

bitchkat ,

Exactly and you can control where it goes by wiggling your ass.

bitchkat ,

a sheet of TP or drip dry.

Bilbo_Haggins ,

Basket of old t-shirts cut into washcloth sized squares. The used ones go in a basket beside the toilet to be washed with the rest of the laundry.

If we're out of rags I just use TP. But you only need a few squares to dry off so it ends up using a lot less paper than if you didn't use a bidet.

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