If you had to give one piece of advice that is pretty much universally applicable, what would it be?

I wouldn't dare defile Douglas Adam's memory by not mentioning that you should keep a towel with you at all times, but my second contender is a surprisingly short three-parter:

  1. never lie.
  2. never tell the whole truth.
  3. never pass up a chance to use a real bathroom.
scrubbles ,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Confidence isn't about being confident but acting confident. Act confident and life will be a lot easier.

witty_username ,

Except if you want to do good science. Good scientists will identify false confidence and will aim to steer well clear of it

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

Scientists ideally shouldn't apply rules of thumb to their research!

InternetPerson ,

*Except if you want to do good science. Good scientists will identify false confidence and will aim to steer well clear of it

If someone isn't already doing that, they're not scientists.

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

Yessir!

intensely_human ,

Faking confidence means running your life as a con job.

It’s better to acknowledge when you feel insecure, find the root reason why, and then develop solutions to the unsolved problems giving you that lack of confidence.

For some people it’s as simple as their pelvis being out of whack. In some cases, all you need is a rolfing session.

InternetPerson ,

Fake it until you make it?

brygphilomena ,

Leave it better than you found it.

Goes for your home, your neighborhood, or something you've borrowed. It can be applied to the planet, the beach, the trail, the car, the job.

Hell, it even goes for people. Leave them a little happier, a little wiser, a little more prosperous than before.

Second rule, give people the benefit of the doubt and don't attribute an action as the person. Did they cut you off on the road? They're having a bad day and made a mistake. They're speeding? Maybe they are on the way to see a loved one without much longer to live. Don't call someone an asshole just because they made an asshole move. People are so much more than that one interaction with them.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

Funny enough, these have analogs in programming!

Leave it better than you found it.

The Boyscouts rule! Clean up bad code if you can!

Second rule, give people the benefit of the doubt and don't attribute an action as the person.

Sometimes you gotta write janky code to meet a deadline. That is not a personal failure. And give folks a break who do it too.

InternetPerson ,

Hell, it even goes for people. Leave them a little happier, a little wiser, a little more prosperous than before.

I like that. Thank you. I'll try.

Nemo ,

Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

knobbysideup ,
@knobbysideup@sh.itjust.works avatar

Ride smooth not fast has won me some mountain bike races.

Nemo ,

I first heard it in the context of carpentry, but I've since heard it in kitchens as well.

Soup ,

“Fast” is the biggest number in a straight line. Life rarely offers straight lines.

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

you can be skilled at cornering too, that will make you faster on them

Soup ,

It’s true, but you need the skill, and buying an expensive car will only get you so far.

intensely_human ,

Every line is straight in a subset of coordinate systems.

OttoVonNoob ,

Think before you speak, I speak without thinking and it's got me in trouble for petty things. Using WE over YOU is extremely valuable.. even when you had nothing to do with the problem it is OUR problem.

Azzu ,
@Azzu@lemm.ee avatar

"We" should vacuum the house! *wink* *wink*

intensely_human ,

I’ve found that one of the best ways to ensure I think before I speak, is to pause before I speak.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

A wise teacher told me to carry a bottle of water, always.

Nobody will stop you from taking a sip, which is really an excuse to pause.

BroncosBuck99 ,

Be kind

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Simple and to the point, everyone should know and follow this. One of the best pieces of advice from the Dalai Lama

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."

TheAnonymouseJoker ,

Dalai Lama also wanted to tongue kiss a little boy on camera. What else can we learn from him? Getting on CIA payroll and selling away morals?

InternetPerson ,

If someone says X, but does Y, this doesn't mean they are not right about X.

Other example, if someone is raising public awareness about littering in nature and is then caught throwing a plastic bottle into a forest, does that mean they are wrong?

Sure, it's shitty, but that doesn't make them wrong in saying that people shouldn't do it, even if they are not living up to their own words.

TheAnonymouseJoker ,

Bet there are some lessons we could learn from Hitler, Goebbels and Churchill too! I do not trust a CIA sellout pedophile. I will get my life lessons from elsewhere, because there is nothing unique to what he has ever said.

InternetPerson ,

You do you. :)

RizzRustbolt ,

I prefer the words of the Dalton Lama: "Be nice. Until it's time ... to not be nice."

ConstipatedWatson ,

Rewind

Rusty ,

No matter how kind you are, the German children are kinder.

bestusername ,
@bestusername@aussie.zone avatar

Get a VPN and pirate everytime!

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

cant stress this enough.

they will always find a way to screw you for your money, don't play their game.

AtariDump ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/bab01d97-1cab-4a7e-a185-81701c53b0b8.jpeg

mydude ,

No-one has ever said on their deathbed, "I only wish I worked more"

PeterLossGeorgeWall ,

I like to turn that one around and say: nobody says on their death bed that they regret spending so much time with their kids.

Liz , (edited )

I know of at least one person who might have actually said that, were he not busy working from the hospital when he died. People don't say that because no one who enjoys working somehow failed to find work to do.

mydude ,

I'm not sure what you're saying, but if a person worked with saving other peoples lives, then perhaps I could be wrong.

InternetPerson ,

I don't think that this makes it wrong. As I see it, the meaning of your advice is to prioritize self-care over work. It surely helps with mental and physical health. And I think this also applies to people saving lifes of others like medical doctors. They are also still people, they can also suffer from that kind of work. And I always prefer a doctor who thinks about getting enough sleep and quality time in life over someone who drives themselves mad and makes themselves sick by burdening the whole world on their shoulders.

If they can't help themselves, how can they help me?
Or, 101 of car crashes, first save yourself before you attempt to save others.

There are also others who help. It's not one single person's job to save everyone.

Liz ,

What I meant is that there are people who genuinely enjoy their work above all else. Those are the people who might say they wished they spent more time at work. However, there is rarely anything keeping them from work that they don't also value. If a person enjoys working, there's very little preventing them from working.

joshfee ,

Identify the true problem before trying to find a solution

Jarix ,

Lol hilarious joke.

yeah that doesn't work unless you don't have bosses or multiple levels of bosses who only care about making Numbers on their already sheet look like what they want them to look like

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

It still checks out.

Sometimes the true problem isn't the "fire" in front of you, it's the manager/boss.

And then you discover what you should be solving for.

Jarix ,

You didn't get it. It's okay

AtariDump ,

The XY problem is asking about your attempted solution rather than your actual problem. This leads to enormous amounts of wasted time and energy, both on the part of people asking for help, and on the part of those providing help.

InternetPerson ,

What if you can't find the true problem?

JoMiran ,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar

Hydrate. Stick to water.

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

kidney stones are NOT nice.

drink water removed, your body needs that shit

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

My wife, who gave two births, was in a car accident and fought through hell to survive, still rate kidney stones as the most painful thing in her life.

I said would she rather take a bullet to the leg? She said she'd take two over a kidney stone.

All of this can be resolved just by drinking water.

Jyek ,

If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your shoes.

Jimmycrackcrack ,

So is this intended as kind of a metaphor or is this mainly aimed at people who have literally stepped in real shit?

meekah ,
@meekah@lemmy.world avatar

Pretty sure its a metaphor for being an asshole

Azzu ,
@Azzu@lemm.ee avatar

It's a metaphor for people who smell whipped cream all the time, they should check on top of their head.

OhNoMoreLemmy ,

Both. It's like the saying "Governing a big country is like cooking small fish." (With the explanation that if you keep poking it, it'll disintegrate) also taught me how to cook fish as well as realpolitik.

The fish advice was most useful.

Jyek ,

This is a metaphor for life in general. If you find that all your interactions are negative, check yourself. Are you the problem in your relationships and interactions? How can you fix that? Clean your shoes.

intensely_human ,

It’s both

AtariDump ,

If everyone around you is an asshole, you’re the asshole.

BugleFingers ,

Evaluate how much something matters based on 1 day, 1 month, 1 year.

I.E. How upset should you be over [Thing]? Will it matter in one day? One month? One year? That helps perspective a bunch. You can use any variation of time really, the point is perspective

Lifecoach5000 ,

Came here to say this. Always a good piece of solid advice IMO

useyourmainfinger ,

Do not, and I can't stress this enough! Put your dick, in crazy..

ExhaleSmile ,

But I can fix them!!!

frunch , (edited )

↖️This is the real life pro-tip right here

tias ,

...at least, not until after the vasectomy.

theshatterstone54 ,

proceeds to get std

intensely_human ,

STDs got nothing on a lifetime of emotional abuse

livus ,

That usrname tho. What you just said hits different.

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

Lol this got me

toastal ,

Corporations aren’t your friend. Avoid the publicly-traded ones seeking quartely profits the most. If it isn’t a massive burden, find an alternative—avoiding some is better than none.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

I'd add "Don't defend any corp".

Not just talking to the Tesla bros either. I mean ANY corp. Including Steam.

You can show support. But if/when they do something shitty, don't be a bootlicker.

Same with working. I've worked at a few major tech companies. No matter how many rainforests they saved or houses they built. At some point, a bad decision will infuriate you, or a new directive will aim for profits and people lose their jobs.

They're not your friend.

toastal ,

I read that as “don’t defend any cop” …Also good advice

MufinMcFlufin ,

I think I would change that one to sometime along the lines of "No corporation is above criticism." Maybe with some addendum like "regardless of how favorably you view them." The reason being is that I think it's perfectly fine to try to set a record straight if there's blatant misinformation going on about a corporation that's been doing good by people, but no matter how much good they might have done they should never be above critique.

Case and point being LMG with their recent issues regarding allegations of sexism, harassment, overworking employees, bullying, and adopting the exact same practices that they themselves have criticized major tech corps for, among other issues. Now I don't mind correcting the record if someone was saying some stupid BS about them, however you can bet that I was also one of the ones calling them out on the things they did.

Mrkawfee ,

Listen or act like you're listening. People love the validation that comes with being given undivided attention. The opposite is also true.

BertramDitore ,
@BertramDitore@lemmy.world avatar

This is great advice. It’s not difficult once you get good at it; but there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being in a real two-way conversation where you know the other person is actually listening to what you’re saying, not just hearing the sounds. I feel like I can count on both hands the number of real conversations I’ve had where I felt truly respected and heard.

intensely_human ,

But also actually listen because if people uncover your acting like listening routine, they’ll hate you for it

whotookkarl ,
@whotookkarl@lemmy.world avatar

If you find yourself in a hole, first step is to stop digging.

Joshi ,
@Joshi@aussie.zone avatar

Reminder me of this

"What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far - which, given your present circumstances, seems more likely - consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer." Douglas Adams

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