If you had to give one piece of advice that is pretty much universally applicable, what would it be?

I wouldn't dare defile Douglas Adam's memory by not mentioning that you should keep a towel with you at all times, but my second contender is a surprisingly short three-parter:

  1. never lie.
  2. never tell the whole truth.
  3. never pass up a chance to use a real bathroom.
nycki ,

Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.

Learning good technique is hard and boring. Solve a problem the wrong way first, and you'll find out what technique improvements are worthwhile.

Joshi ,
@Joshi@aussie.zone avatar

If you don't have time to do something right what makes you think you have time to do it twice?

Respect other people's time. When dealing with a busy person in a professional context;

  • Emails should be as short as possible while still conveying the needed information, don't make a busy person excavate the relevant info from somewhere near the middle of the fifth paragraph.
  • Whenever possible phrase a question in a way that can be answered in one word.
sockenklaus ,
@sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works avatar

Whenever possible phrase a question in a way that can be answered in one word.

That's a good one! I would also add: When asked a question, determine whether this question can be properly answered in one word. If possible do it!

This is particularly directed at my wife 💋

Joshi ,
@Joshi@aussie.zone avatar

Excellent, I'm going to add to this, even if the the answer justifies/requires an explanation put the answer first
ie "Yes, long explanation" is vastly superior to "Long explanation, so yes"

InternetPerson ,

When dealing with a busy person in a professional context;

  • Emails should be as short as possible while still conveying the needed information, don't make a busy person excavate the relevant info from somewhere near the middle of the fifth paragraph.
  • Whenever possible phrase a question in a way that can be answered in one word.

Not a fan of this. Feels like a result of over-optimization in a capitalistic, profti-driven society.

We are humans. Not machines. So treat each other like that. If you like to write a couple of more words to express yourself or some issue in a way that feels representing, go for it. Doesn't mean to escalate this into a novel, but it's fine to take a pause and talk more.

Joshi ,
@Joshi@aussie.zone avatar

I think we mostly agree.

For context I'm a doctor who is constantly pushing back against profit driven motives.

Being time constrained is an effect of capitalism but that doesn't mean that there isn't real work to be done.

People can and should take time out to express their personalities, hopes and frustrations and bond and be together in the workplace. That said, personal communication in the workplace and professional communication are different beasts.

Not thinking about what you're trying to say or what information you need leads to rambling tirades in person and paragraphs that could've been sentences in emails, this is not being a machine, it is wasting my time and the time of my patients(whose rambling tirades it is my pleasure to listen to😉)

Beetlejuice001 ,

Treat others how you want to be treated. The single universal golden rule.

Liz ,

Treat others as they would like to be treated.

Beetlejuice001 ,

I agree, yet too many people lack empathy to follow the rule in that regard

Jarix ,

Dunno why you getting downvoted but i put you back up to 1

Beetlejuice001 ,

Thank you stranger. If’s funny, I’m thinking of just posting key words sometimes to see how many downvotes I get because it reallly doesn’t make sense most of the time, unless it’s bots or other nefarious actors

snake_cased ,
@snake_cased@lemmy.ml avatar

So, if someone wants to be treated like a king, you treat them as such?

Liz ,

Yeah, you cut off their head.

Jarix ,

This has led to Karens, chads, influencers, racists.

So it isnt as wholesome as it is commonly used

Beetlejuice001 , (edited )

Logically, When followed it would not lead to racists.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

So many fuck faces go, "People should just leave everybody alone!" And then go protest against LGBTQ existing.

the_third ,

I don't think Karen's want to be shouted at over trivial shit or racists fancy the receiving end of their respective stick.

Jarix , (edited )

... And part of a Karen's dna is getting upset when other people treat Karen's like other people want to be treated. With respect and stuff

Side note I hope my girlfriend, who's name is Karen, is well. (we went to highschool together but never dated till we graduated)

If the real Karen is out there I hope you have had a wonderful life! You were never a Karen when i knew you Karen!

mydude ,

No-one has ever said on their deathbed, "I only wish I worked more"

PeterLossGeorgeWall ,

I like to turn that one around and say: nobody says on their death bed that they regret spending so much time with their kids.

Liz , (edited )

I know of at least one person who might have actually said that, were he not busy working from the hospital when he died. People don't say that because no one who enjoys working somehow failed to find work to do.

mydude ,

I'm not sure what you're saying, but if a person worked with saving other peoples lives, then perhaps I could be wrong.

InternetPerson ,

I don't think that this makes it wrong. As I see it, the meaning of your advice is to prioritize self-care over work. It surely helps with mental and physical health. And I think this also applies to people saving lifes of others like medical doctors. They are also still people, they can also suffer from that kind of work. And I always prefer a doctor who thinks about getting enough sleep and quality time in life over someone who drives themselves mad and makes themselves sick by burdening the whole world on their shoulders.

If they can't help themselves, how can they help me?
Or, 101 of car crashes, first save yourself before you attempt to save others.

There are also others who help. It's not one single person's job to save everyone.

Liz ,

What I meant is that there are people who genuinely enjoy their work above all else. Those are the people who might say they wished they spent more time at work. However, there is rarely anything keeping them from work that they don't also value. If a person enjoys working, there's very little preventing them from working.

toastal ,

Corporations aren’t your friend. Avoid the publicly-traded ones seeking quartely profits the most. If it isn’t a massive burden, find an alternative—avoiding some is better than none.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

I'd add "Don't defend any corp".

Not just talking to the Tesla bros either. I mean ANY corp. Including Steam.

You can show support. But if/when they do something shitty, don't be a bootlicker.

Same with working. I've worked at a few major tech companies. No matter how many rainforests they saved or houses they built. At some point, a bad decision will infuriate you, or a new directive will aim for profits and people lose their jobs.

They're not your friend.

toastal ,

I read that as “don’t defend any cop” …Also good advice

MufinMcFlufin ,

I think I would change that one to sometime along the lines of "No corporation is above criticism." Maybe with some addendum like "regardless of how favorably you view them." The reason being is that I think it's perfectly fine to try to set a record straight if there's blatant misinformation going on about a corporation that's been doing good by people, but no matter how much good they might have done they should never be above critique.

Case and point being LMG with their recent issues regarding allegations of sexism, harassment, overworking employees, bullying, and adopting the exact same practices that they themselves have criticized major tech corps for, among other issues. Now I don't mind correcting the record if someone was saying some stupid BS about them, however you can bet that I was also one of the ones calling them out on the things they did.

BroncosBuck99 ,

Be kind

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Simple and to the point, everyone should know and follow this. One of the best pieces of advice from the Dalai Lama

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."

TheAnonymouseJoker ,

Dalai Lama also wanted to tongue kiss a little boy on camera. What else can we learn from him? Getting on CIA payroll and selling away morals?

InternetPerson ,

If someone says X, but does Y, this doesn't mean they are not right about X.

Other example, if someone is raising public awareness about littering in nature and is then caught throwing a plastic bottle into a forest, does that mean they are wrong?

Sure, it's shitty, but that doesn't make them wrong in saying that people shouldn't do it, even if they are not living up to their own words.

TheAnonymouseJoker ,

Bet there are some lessons we could learn from Hitler, Goebbels and Churchill too! I do not trust a CIA sellout pedophile. I will get my life lessons from elsewhere, because there is nothing unique to what he has ever said.

InternetPerson ,

You do you. :)

RizzRustbolt ,

I prefer the words of the Dalton Lama: "Be nice. Until it's time ... to not be nice."

ConstipatedWatson ,

Rewind

Rusty ,

No matter how kind you are, the German children are kinder.

untorquer ,

Learn to recognize when you're responding defensively to a statement made by those around you.

-There wrong about me, they're the problem

- I'm fine i don't bed to listen to that

- etc...

Think about it for a few days, once you're over the initial emotional reaction. Be critical of your own response and contemplate the motivation for the statement

- is it out of care for you or manipulation

- Is it honest or malicious? 

- Are they expressing a need?

That's when you have the greatest opportunity to grow as a person and build deeper relationships. It's also when you have an opportunity to break your mindset and get out of malicious ones.

stoy ,

never tell the whole truth

This is dumb, and in many cases outright illegal.

If you are giving testamony in court you are required to tell the whole truth regarding the situation.

There are absolutely other times when you should tell the whole truth, so this statement is just dumb.

untorquer ,

Even in court you have to use some judgment to determine what the whole truth is, under what context, and to the extend of your memory or a reasonable expectation of enforcement of the idea.

There's also limitation with self incrimination/5th.

But as a generality, omitting information on socials, whatever registration form, etc... In everyday life is a reasonable practice for preserving privacy.

Being dishonest with friends & family is messed up tho.

stoy ,

A partner having a rule to say that you should NEVER tell the whole truth would be an instant red flag in any relationship I am in.

The fact that that kind of rule exists for them means that they will never be completely honest with me, and I won't accept that.

Now, obviously, there are times when you use a white lie or omit stuff, that is normal, but to constantly omit stuff, to the point where a rule is needed?

Nope.

untorquer , (edited )

I actually agree! Mutual trust relies on clear, full communication to the extent of one's abilities.

I think the problem with the original statement is the absolute "never" which i defaulted to taking as a generality when interacting with impersonal third parties. This was an unreasonable assumption in my part.

Fir example, I'm going to lie to Facebook and Google. Period. But never to friends and SOs, and rarely to individual humans outside of survival in threatening circumstances.

joshfee ,

Identify the true problem before trying to find a solution

Jarix ,

Lol hilarious joke.

yeah that doesn't work unless you don't have bosses or multiple levels of bosses who only care about making Numbers on their already sheet look like what they want them to look like

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

It still checks out.

Sometimes the true problem isn't the "fire" in front of you, it's the manager/boss.

And then you discover what you should be solving for.

Jarix ,

You didn't get it. It's okay

AtariDump ,

The XY problem is asking about your attempted solution rather than your actual problem. This leads to enormous amounts of wasted time and energy, both on the part of people asking for help, and on the part of those providing help.

InternetPerson ,

What if you can't find the true problem?

InternetPerson ,

Form your opinions critically, don't easily judge.

t_berium ,
@t_berium@lemmy.world avatar

Thinking from every possible direction. Multiple times. Over and over.
(Exhausted overthinker here)

t_berium ,
@t_berium@lemmy.world avatar

Don't be an asshole.

Glytch ,

People are more helpful if you're nice to them.

AlphaOmega ,

Every failure is a success, if you learn from your mistakes

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

underrated, appreciate you bruv

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

I failed the saving throw and now I'm dead. Thanks a lot jerk

InternetPerson ,

It's the basic driver of all somewhat intelligent life on earth.

Do something - fail - explore alternatives - do it again - success? Keep it. Fail? Back to exploring and retrying.

Whether it's babies learning to walk or you overcoming difficult situations in life. We should embrace errors and failures of others, as it's an opportunity for them and us to learn and prevent similar mistakes in the future.

scrubbles ,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Confidence isn't about being confident but acting confident. Act confident and life will be a lot easier.

witty_username ,

Except if you want to do good science. Good scientists will identify false confidence and will aim to steer well clear of it

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

Scientists ideally shouldn't apply rules of thumb to their research!

InternetPerson ,

*Except if you want to do good science. Good scientists will identify false confidence and will aim to steer well clear of it

If someone isn't already doing that, they're not scientists.

0_0j ,
@0_0j@lemmy.world avatar

Yessir!

intensely_human ,

Faking confidence means running your life as a con job.

It’s better to acknowledge when you feel insecure, find the root reason why, and then develop solutions to the unsolved problems giving you that lack of confidence.

For some people it’s as simple as their pelvis being out of whack. In some cases, all you need is a rolfing session.

InternetPerson ,

Fake it until you make it?

brygphilomena ,

Leave it better than you found it.

Goes for your home, your neighborhood, or something you've borrowed. It can be applied to the planet, the beach, the trail, the car, the job.

Hell, it even goes for people. Leave them a little happier, a little wiser, a little more prosperous than before.

Second rule, give people the benefit of the doubt and don't attribute an action as the person. Did they cut you off on the road? They're having a bad day and made a mistake. They're speeding? Maybe they are on the way to see a loved one without much longer to live. Don't call someone an asshole just because they made an asshole move. People are so much more than that one interaction with them.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

Funny enough, these have analogs in programming!

Leave it better than you found it.

The Boyscouts rule! Clean up bad code if you can!

Second rule, give people the benefit of the doubt and don't attribute an action as the person.

Sometimes you gotta write janky code to meet a deadline. That is not a personal failure. And give folks a break who do it too.

InternetPerson ,

Hell, it even goes for people. Leave them a little happier, a little wiser, a little more prosperous than before.

I like that. Thank you. I'll try.

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