Learn to recognize when you're responding defensively to a statement made by those around you.
-There wrong about me, they're the problem
- I'm fine i don't bed to listen to that
- etc...
Think about it for a few days, once you're over the initial emotional reaction. Be critical of your own response and contemplate the motivation for the statement
- is it out of care for you or manipulation
- Is it honest or malicious?
- Are they expressing a need?
That's when you have the greatest opportunity to grow as a person and build deeper relationships. It's also when you have an opportunity to break your mindset and get out of malicious ones.