goldteeth

@goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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goldteeth ,

I've got some girl scout cookies from the Loch Ness Monster that I understand to be worth about tree fiddy...

goldteeth ,

I only purchased this toothbrush because that was the only way to get the water-resistant Entertainment Center/Speaker/Corporate Surveillance Device for the one room in my house that is the least comfortable, has the worst acoustics, and has the strongest expectation of privacy, and also I can't just put a regular Alexa in like a plastic bag or something because I blew my plastic bag budget on a fucking app-controlled toothbrush or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be, jesus christ

goldteeth ,

found one in my garage once sleeping in a wheelbarrow with a tarp over it. be more than happy to ignore 'em if they weren't tryin to ambush me

goldteeth ,

ohhhh, and it's your piss that produces the mercury? that is cool.

goldteeth ,

This deal is getting worse all the time!

goldteeth ,

what are the odds, that was my nickname in college

goldteeth ,

Fʀᴀɴᴋʟʏ, I'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴡᴇʀᴄᴀsᴇ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ. Sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ.

The great tits in this Oxford wood are adapting their breeding times as climate changes – here’s how ( theconversation.com )

As part of a team of ecologists, I’ve been studying aspects of great tit biology at Wytham Woods near Oxford. One aspect of our research is how climate change affects their breeding behaviour. So far, our research suggests that these great tits have been able to deal with climate change effects....

goldteeth ,

I'd like to see some great tit chicks make my wood their breeding ground, if y'knowhatImean...

...

(I'd like to turn the forest behind my house into a bird sanctuary, obviously. what did you think I meant?)

goldteeth ,

I've experienced this, or at least something that very closely fits its description, a couple times in the past, and it varies on a case-by-case basis. One time it was almost like the sound of glass breaking, I think one time might've been closer to a door slamming. Weird shit.

And, same deal as the other fella, hard to remember the specifics 'cause you're sorta half-asleep when it happens.

goldteeth ,

Shit, an emulator getting taken down for... actual copyright infringement? You don't see that every day.

goldteeth ,

Well your corp don't dance and if it don't dance then it's no friend of mine

goldteeth ,

Man, they've really stepped up their game since the '70s.

goldteeth ,

Look, I don't care who you are, I don't care what you want running the country; if you're still posting grainy screengrabs of a cell phone bootleg of a movie that has been out on 4k Blu-Ray for damn near six years... You don't get to make cracks about who can and cannot "meme."

And you damn sure don't get to do it in red text in a mint green bubble, christ almighty.

...

Jesus, has it been almost six years already?

goldteeth ,

I've just seen a lot of crappy cellphone bootlegs, and crappy Infinity War bootlegs specifically. Big movie comes out, everyone's scrambling to get their cracks in, you end up with a lot of memes made out of pictures of theater screens. See enough and you start to pick up on the patterns, then the HD stuff starts coming out and you really notice the difference. Cropping's off, color grading and exposure are wrong, picture's a little smudgy 'cause the guy can't hold the phone still... Compare it to the actual scene, it's a little tilted and it's got that sorta washed-out bright blue cast you get when you try to take a picture of another screen.

goldteeth ,

You're all fools! You should just be hoarding the screenplays on trusty ink and paper, or perhaps etched into clay tablets to deter silverfish and parchment mites.
When the great solar-amberic conjunction erases all earth's digital media simultaneously and nothing else, me and my travelling theater troupe are going to make post-apocalyptic bank with live re-enactments of all of cinema's greatest moments, just you wait!

‘IRL Fakes:’ Where People Pay for AI-Generated Porn of Normal People ( www.404media.co )

A Telegram user who advertises their services on Twitter will create an AI-generated pornographic image of anyone in the world for as little as $10 if users send them pictures of that person. Like many other Telegram communities and users producing nonconsensual AI-generated sexual images, this user creates fake nude images of...

goldteeth ,

"Djinn", specifically, being the correct word choice. We're way past fun-loving blue cartoon Robin Williams genies granting wishes, doing impressions of Jack Nicholson and getting into madcap hijinks. We're back into fuckin'... shapeshifting cobras woven of fire and dust by the archdevil Iblis, hiding in caves and slithering out into the desert at night to tempt mortal men to sin. That mythologically-accurate shit.

goldteeth ,

And why do we bake cookies but cook bacon?

goldteeth ,

does that mean that 36x10^25^ Scaramuccis is equal to one ronnaRonna?

goldteeth ,

Mar-a-Lago, Palm Beach, Florida

Holy shit. I've figured it out. I've cracked the master plan.

"Um, excuse me, stolen classified documents piled high to the rafters in my bathroom? I believe that's the New York attorney general's bathroom, athankyouverymuch. Case dismissed!"

This makes the fairly generous assumption that the man is capable of planning, but whatever.

goldteeth ,

Well, he's certainly mastered the glare that could skeletonize a fully-armored knight from a hundred paces.

goldteeth ,

I was gonna make some joke like "is one of them 'being pressured into taking out a predatory loan at age 17?'", but then I went to actually read the article, missed the "Continue Reading" button, and mistook the list of "Trending Now" links at the bottom of the page for the qualifying factors... I was very confused as to why:

  1. Your 50-year-old mom building a $1.3B startup
  2. Being a 29-year-old making $125,000 working in tech without a bachelor’s degree
  3. The value of bitcoin being 'halved', or
  4. Nvidia stock prices soaring over the past 5 years

Would qualify someone for debt forgiveness. Hell, I was confused why your billionaire mom would let you take out student loans to begin with. I thought billionaires loved nepotism. And who's this guy with student loans without a bachelor's degree? Needless to say, I had assumed the whole administration had lost its mind.

("being pressured into taking out a predatory loan at age 17" is not, explicitly, one of the 17 factors.)

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