goldteeth

goldteeth , 11 days ago to Microblog Memes in Cryptic Currency

I've got some girl scout cookies from the Loch Ness Monster that I understand to be worth about tree fiddy...

goldteeth , 26 days ago to Technology in Oral-B bricking Alexa toothbrush is cautionary tale against buzzy tech

I only purchased this toothbrush because that was the only way to get the water-resistant Entertainment Center/Speaker/Corporate Surveillance Device for the one room in my house that is the least comfortable, has the worst acoustics, and has the strongest expectation of privacy, and also I can't just put a regular Alexa in like a plastic bag or something because I blew my plastic bag budget on a fucking app-controlled toothbrush or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be, jesus christ

goldteeth , 1 month ago to Opossums in Opossums are our friends

found one in my garage once sleeping in a wheelbarrow with a tarp over it. be more than happy to ignore 'em if they weren't tryin to ambush me

goldteeth , 2 months ago to science in Watch these hungry waxworms eat through plastic and digest it too

ohhhh, and it's your piss that produces the mercury? that is cool.

goldteeth , 2 months ago to AssholeDesign in Accept the privacy policy so you can read the privacy policy.

This deal is getting worse all the time!

goldteeth , 2 months ago to Curated Tumblr in Share the community butthole

what are the odds, that was my nickname in college

goldteeth , 2 months ago to Microblog Memes in Al-generated content. You read that wrong.

Fʀᴀɴᴋʟʏ, I'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴡᴇʀᴄᴀsᴇ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ. Sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ.

goldteeth , 2 months ago to UK Nature and Environment in The great tits in this Oxford wood are adapting their breeding times as climate changes – here’s how

I'd like to see some great tit chicks make my wood their breeding ground, if y'knowhatImean...

...

(I'd like to turn the forest behind my house into a bird sanctuary, obviously. what did you think I meant?)

goldteeth , 2 months ago to Today I Learned in TIL about exploding head syndrome, which causes patients to hear a loud, frightening noise when falling asleep or waking up. Up to 10% of people may have it, but cases often go undiagnosed

I've experienced this, or at least something that very closely fits its description, a couple times in the past, and it varies on a case-by-case basis. One time it was almost like the sound of glass breaking, I think one time might've been closer to a door slamming. Weird shit.

And, same deal as the other fella, hard to remember the specifics 'cause you're sorta half-asleep when it happens.

goldteeth , 2 months ago to Piracy: ꜱᴀɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ꜱᴇᴀꜱ in Apple Removes Game Boy Emulator iGBA From App Store Due to Spam and Copyright Violations

Shit, an emulator getting taken down for... actual copyright infringement? You don't see that every day.

goldteeth , 2 months ago to Piracy: ꜱᴀɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ꜱᴇᴀꜱ in Bypass Paywall Clean got DMcaD

Well your corp don't dance and if it don't dance then it's no friend of mine

goldteeth , 2 months ago to UK Nature and Environment in 40ft sharks may arrive in the UK as early as next month

Man, they've really stepped up their game since the '70s.

goldteeth , 2 months ago to The Right Can't Meme in *Right

I've just seen a lot of crappy cellphone bootlegs, and crappy Infinity War bootlegs specifically. Big movie comes out, everyone's scrambling to get their cracks in, you end up with a lot of memes made out of pictures of theater screens. See enough and you start to pick up on the patterns, then the HD stuff starts coming out and you really notice the difference. Cropping's off, color grading and exposure are wrong, picture's a little smudgy 'cause the guy can't hold the phone still... Compare it to the actual scene, it's a little tilted and it's got that sorta washed-out bright blue cast you get when you try to take a picture of another screen.

goldteeth , 2 months ago to The Right Can't Meme in *Right

Look, I don't care who you are, I don't care what you want running the country; if you're still posting grainy screengrabs of a cell phone bootleg of a movie that has been out on 4k Blu-Ray for damn near six years... You don't get to make cracks about who can and cannot "meme."

And you damn sure don't get to do it in red text in a mint green bubble, christ almighty.

...

Jesus, has it been almost six years already?

goldteeth , 3 months ago to Movies and TV Shows in The film fans who refuse to surrender to streaming: ‘One day you’ll barter bread for our DVDs’

You're all fools! You should just be hoarding the screenplays on trusty ink and paper, or perhaps etched into clay tablets to deter silverfish and parchment mites.
When the great solar-amberic conjunction erases all earth's digital media simultaneously and nothing else, me and my travelling theater troupe are going to make post-apocalyptic bank with live re-enactments of all of cinema's greatest moments, just you wait!