@alex@godforsaken.website cover
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alex

@alex@godforsaken.website

artist, scotland, he/him, 30s, white cis guy, leftist.
disabled with #mecfs, disabled comrades hmu!
chronically online because chronically ill.
i mute/block a lot of people onhere, it's not a big deal.
not interested in your irony bit! sorry! i'm sure it's very funny though.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

alex , to random
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

(hosting the dark souls guy at my house)
me: ok now i'm going to leave you in this room full of valuable antique furniture. now, i know your love of destroying antique furniture by doing forward rolls, so i'm going to ask you politely, as a guest in my house, to restrain yourself from doing that in here please.
dark souls guy: ok
me: now i'm just going to go into the kitchen to put the kettle on
dark souls guy: ok
me: please don't do any forward rolls while i'm gone
dark souls guy: i promise

alex OP ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

me (through the wall): ok i am in the kitchen. i am putting the kettle on. what are you doing?
dark souls guy: i am sitting down. in a normal way.
me: ok that's good. i'm putting the kettle on now.
dark souls guy: ok
me: you know i'll hear you immediately if you start doing any forward rolls in there
dark souls guy: yes. i promise i won't do any.
me: ok, because the antique furniture in that room is very expensive.
dark souls guy: i promise i won't do any. even though i usually like doing that.

alex , to random
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it's June 2 day (promotional day for Dune 2 if u say it that way)

alex , to random
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AI is like they put googly eyes on the computer and all the investors seeing it are like: haha woah who's this charming fellow, i like his gumption

alex , to random
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Being able to puppeteer a guy by pulling the hairs on his head is not a universal principle. The ratatouille rat just coincidentally happened on the only guy that that works on.

alex , to random
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Getting ratatouilled by several rats with competing interests

alex , to random
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"average british person earns enough money to be alive" actually just statistical error. taxcuts georg, who lives in belize and makes £10,000,000 per second is an outlier and should not have been counted

alex , to random
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

Trains. The long vehicle. Did you know that the train driver might be at the front of the train even if you're in one of the carriages? That's how long trains are. Wow! For more train facts visit wikipedia.

alex OP ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

Some trains are more than 100 years old. These trains are called "grandad trains". TrainFacts 🐂

alex OP ,
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After extensive testing it was determined that trains are even faster than a horse, unless the horse is on the train, in which case the horse is the same speed as the train, unless the horse is running on the train in which case it is faster than the train unless the horse is running towards the rear of the train in which case it is slower than the train "TrainFacts

alex , to random
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

From watching literally dozens of movies i have learnt that USAians are always concerned with getting to prom on time. Some suggestions for affirming things to say to USAians in your life:

  • you will certainly make it to prom on time
  • i expect you will not encounter any mishaps on your way to prom
  • while you yourself are unlikely to be voted prom king/queen, you strike me as the character who will experience the most personal growth at prom
  • oh you look great today. are you going to prom
alex , to random
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My favourite Blade quote

Tim_Eagon ,
@Tim_Eagon@dice.camp avatar

@alex It's a classic line.

alex , to random
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for a smurf to harm another smurf... it is the greatest smurf sin imaginable...... they must be sent into smexile (smurf exile)....

pisscotheque ,
@pisscotheque@godforsaken.website avatar

@alex this is such a dark topic. smurf's insmurfanity to smurf.

alex OP ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

@pisscotheque we do not usually smurf of this topic

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