(hosting the dark souls guy at my house)
me: ok now i'm going to leave you in this room full of valuable antique furniture. now, i know your love of destroying antique furniture by doing forward rolls, so i'm going to ask you politely, as a guest in my house, to restrain yourself from doing that in here please.
dark souls guy: ok
me: now i'm just going to go into the kitchen to put the kettle on
dark souls guy: ok
me: please don't do any forward rolls while i'm gone
dark souls guy: i promise
me (through the wall): ok i am in the kitchen. i am putting the kettle on. what are you doing?
dark souls guy: i am sitting down. in a normal way.
me: ok that's good. i'm putting the kettle on now.
dark souls guy: ok
me: you know i'll hear you immediately if you start doing any forward rolls in there
dark souls guy: yes. i promise i won't do any.
me: ok, because the antique furniture in that room is very expensive.
dark souls guy: i promise i won't do any. even though i usually like doing that.