@alex@godforsaken.website cover
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alex

@alex@godforsaken.website

artist, scotland, he/him, 30s, white cis guy, leftist.
disabled with #mecfs, disabled comrades hmu!
chronically online because chronically ill.
i mute/block a lot of people onhere, it's not a big deal.
not interested in your irony bit! sorry! i'm sure it's very funny though.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

alex , to random
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

(hosting the dark souls guy at my house)
me: ok now i'm going to leave you in this room full of valuable antique furniture. now, i know your love of destroying antique furniture by doing forward rolls, so i'm going to ask you politely, as a guest in my house, to restrain yourself from doing that in here please.
dark souls guy: ok
me: now i'm just going to go into the kitchen to put the kettle on
dark souls guy: ok
me: please don't do any forward rolls while i'm gone
dark souls guy: i promise

alex OP ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

me (through the wall): ok i am in the kitchen. i am putting the kettle on. what are you doing?
dark souls guy: i am sitting down. in a normal way.
me: ok that's good. i'm putting the kettle on now.
dark souls guy: ok
me: you know i'll hear you immediately if you start doing any forward rolls in there
dark souls guy: yes. i promise i won't do any.
me: ok, because the antique furniture in that room is very expensive.
dark souls guy: i promise i won't do any. even though i usually like doing that.

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

I'm convinced that Crematogaster ants use their gasters to communicate with each other. When one of these ants finds food she likes they raise their gasters up higher than if it's just water.

Raising the gaster is recognized as a "threat display" as they will do it to warn other insects that they can fight back.

But why raise the gaster just because they taste sugar water rather than regular water?

It's also very very cute.

(These are stills from a video I want to sketch.)

alex ,
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@futurebird cute!

alex , to random
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it's June 2 day (promotional day for Dune 2 if u say it that way)

alex , to random
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AI is like they put googly eyes on the computer and all the investors seeing it are like: haha woah who's this charming fellow, i like his gumption

alex , to random
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Being able to puppeteer a guy by pulling the hairs on his head is not a universal principle. The ratatouille rat just coincidentally happened on the only guy that that works on.

alex , to random
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Getting ratatouilled by several rats with competing interests

alex , to random
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"average british person earns enough money to be alive" actually just statistical error. taxcuts georg, who lives in belize and makes £10,000,000 per second is an outlier and should not have been counted

alex , to random
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

Trains. The long vehicle. Did you know that the train driver might be at the front of the train even if you're in one of the carriages? That's how long trains are. Wow! For more train facts visit wikipedia.

alex OP ,
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Some trains are more than 100 years old. These trains are called "grandad trains". TrainFacts 🐂

alex OP ,
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After extensive testing it was determined that trains are even faster than a horse, unless the horse is on the train, in which case the horse is the same speed as the train, unless the horse is running on the train in which case it is faster than the train unless the horse is running towards the rear of the train in which case it is slower than the train "TrainFacts

alex OP ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

Train Facts. Train facts. Did you know?: if you get on a train, you will find yourself mysteriously transported to a new location, even if you have remained sitting still in your seat the whole time. Ooh! :itisamystery: Nobody knows why this is.

alex OP ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

Train fact. Most trains say where they're going on the front. However you will sometimes see trains marked "driver's discretion". This means the driver gets to decide where it goes. Why not get on a drivers discretion train today? It can be a fun alternative to going somewhere you want.

alex , to random
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

From watching literally dozens of movies i have learnt that USAians are always concerned with getting to prom on time. Some suggestions for affirming things to say to USAians in your life:

  • you will certainly make it to prom on time
  • i expect you will not encounter any mishaps on your way to prom
  • while you yourself are unlikely to be voted prom king/queen, you strike me as the character who will experience the most personal growth at prom
  • oh you look great today. are you going to prom
wandrew , to random
@wandrew@godforsaken.website avatar

we've got about 30 hens on our croft and unbeknownst to us one of them was hiding somewhere sitting on a shitload of eggs for the past however many weeks, so today my wife goes out to clean the chicken coops and this chicken and her 11 newborn chicks appeared out of nowhere!

alex ,
@alex@godforsaken.website avatar

@wandrew 🐔 can i just have a look at...
🐓 fuck off!!!

alex , to random
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My favourite Blade quote

alex , to random
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for a smurf to harm another smurf... it is the greatest smurf sin imaginable...... they must be sent into smexile (smurf exile)....

alex OP ,
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@pisscotheque we do not usually smurf of this topic

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