Man who enjoys saying ‘if you don’t like it, leave!’ furious when migrants take that exact advice to come here ( newsthump.com )
Women Explain Why They Became Tradwives ( www.theonion.com )
“No sense in letting my 40 identical gingham blouses go to waste.”
Libertarian Who Says We Should Rely Less on Government Is Strangely Reliant on Government ( theshovel.com.au )
Guy who doesn’t question why ‘completed’ flat pack has a bunch of ‘extra’ parts, recently hired as Boeing engineer ( chaser.com.au )
Local self-declared handyman James Davidson has been offered a job as a Boeing engineer after his amazing work attempting to put a flat-pack cupboard together and just assuming that the many left over parts are just the extra pieces they add sometimes.
“Growing up in poverty never did me any harm” insists man psychologically compelled to wish similar financial hardship on others ( newsthump.com )
Ben Shapiro Claims Palestinian Children Keep Dying on Purpose to Get out of Debating Him About Definition of Genocide ( thehardtimes.net )
God Announces Easter Weekend Double XP for all Churchgoers ( hard-drive.net )
Excited about this one. Lent debuff hit me hard this year.
Man screaming “Go Woke Go Broke!” at Nike seemingly unaware he is a penniless bigot ( newsthump.com )
https://ghostarchive.org/archive/IrtoE...
Apple Refuses to Respond to DOJ Lawsuit After Seeing Entire Thing Printed Inside Green Bubble ( hard-drive.net )
Trump Frantically Digging Holes Around Mar-A-Lago In Hopes Of Striking $454 Million In Oil ( www.theonion.com )
U.S. Military Doing All It Can to Save Civilians in Gaza From Weapons It Sent to Israel ( reductress.com )
Not the Onion, but still great satire.
Study Finds Sexual Satisfaction Highest Among Nerds Covered In Lipstick Marks With Glasses Askew ( www.theonion.com )
TikTok saves itself from US ban by launching a range of semi-automatic assault rifles ( newsthump.com )
Boeing Employees Explain Why They Refuse To Fly In Boeing Aircraft ( www.theonion.com )
In this article, The Onion brings you testimonials from various Boeing staff at all levels of operation.
Wallace Shawn Emerges As Frontrunner To Replace Daniel Craig As James Bond ( www.theonion.com )
Woman Tends To Do Best Creative Thinking When Backed Into Corner With Livelihood At Stake ( www.theonion.com )
Trump Dehumanizes Migrants By Referring To Them As Dons And Erics ( www.theonion.com )
Study Finds Sexual Satisfaction Highest Among Nerds Covered In Lipstick Marks With Glasses Askew ( www.theonion.com )
Roommates Who Can't Afford to Live Alone Accidentally Growing Old Together ( reductress.com )
Law & Order Toronto criticized as unrealistic after showing Toronto Police trying to solve crimes ( www.thebeaverton.com )
Catholic Church Courts Youth By Adding Badass Deity With Robotic Falcon Head ( www.theonion.com )
Conservative pundit decries rising divorce rate in his house ( www.thebeaverton.com )
OTTAWA – Right wing pundit and columnist Hank Vrinden has entered into the increasingly heated conversation among conservative activists and commentators about the breakdown of traditional family values, in a recent column decrying the rising divorce rate in his house....
Saying racist things not racist, insist racists ( newsthump.com )
Family Bible Passed Down for Five Generations Hasn't Been Read in Five Generations ( thehardtimes.net )
‘I Know Him,’ Kamala Harris Whispers To Mike Johnson During State Of The Union ( www.theonion.com )
