But you can be female and not be a woman, and be a woman and not be a female, am I correct? I've never used the term "female" to describe anyone, but I kind of thought it might be a bit more politically correct? I suppose not.
I have such a weird take on this, due to being in the military for so long. We absolutely do refer to one another as "males" and "females".
Ie. "There was a female SSgt that was really helpful in customer service" or "I had to remind a male Soldier to put on his cover when he left the building" or "I had a female troop once".
However, I try really hard when I'm speaking to a non-military member to switch up my phrasing. Sometimes I still slip up, and I gotta be like "shit, sorry, I mean that woman cashier over there" or whatever it is that I'm talking about.
I will say though, I do distinctly remember having that conversation during basic training, and fucking hating being referred to as "female" in the beginning, and that thought being shared amongst my flightmates. I can still hear the TIs shouting from across the parking lot: "GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, FE-MALE!" Ugh.
It was just 16 years ago now, so "female" has become normalized.
In your first examples, you are using female as an adjective. A female troop, a female Sargent, a male soldier. That's usually fine. Even "that female cashier over there" is probably fine. However if you say "that female over there" or like you pointed out, "get over here right now, female" or really any other instance where female is used as a noun instead of an adjective, that's where it becomes gross. It's all about adjective vs noun. Adjective: usually fine. Noun: usually not.
Yeah after I posted the comment, I was reading through other people's, and someone pointed this exact difference out. This take makes full sense to me!!!
I write it females because I don't like the look of the word woman, it's not a sexist thing it just never looks right to me and I always worry I did it wrong.
In general, female is an adjective. It can be used as a noun, but generally shouldn't be, at least when talking about humans. So you can say "my female colleague" or "a woman I work with". You can say "the female mind" or "a woman's brain." You can say "a panel of female postal workers" or "a panel of women who work for the post office." If you stick to the adjective/noun rule, you'll come off far less offensive/gross sounding. Hope this helps.
Using "male" and "female" as nouns is offensive because it dehumanizes the subject and reduces them to their gender.
A "woman" is inherently human -- specifically an adult female human. By calling that person only "a female" you remove their humanity and maturity, leaving only their sex. This is why it's so common for creepy types, and why it's so creepy, because it betrays that only one of those three descriptors is important to them.
It doesn't dehumanize anyone though, male and female are the two most common sexes in humanity so it being either doesn't disqualify you for humanity anymore than any other multi hyphenate.
Also no woman isn't specist in is etymology, its sexist technically we only take it as human because only a human can consent to enter into marriage.
Wif = wife / man = mankind. Literally the wif of men, technically you aren't even a woman if you aren't married or at least capable of being married.
See another non answer and an insult. If you had an argument you'd make it and clearly you haven't because you don't. If someone asks a question maybe be nice or I dunno keep your hateful inside shit inside to save for a therapist.
I want to start by saying this is an attempt at an explanation not just for you, but anyone who stumbles upon this thread, and is not making any assumptions of anyone's character.
The answer to why it's offensive or gross is twofold.
First is that using it as a noun like saying "I went on a date with a female" sounds clinical or sterile. Female as a noun is mostly used in science and medicine, and women don't want to feel like test subjects. They get objectified enough as it is. Is it technically incorrect? No. But it feels that way to the person being called it.
Which leads to the second, more important reason. They've asked. Again, to emphasize the importance: They've asked. In general (yes there are exceptions), women have asked people to stop referring to them as females (the noun), and if you respect people, then you call them what they ask. You hopefully don't call Asians Orientals anymore. And when your friend Stephen says he goes by Steve, hopefully you say Steve the majority of the time. Or if Richard really hates being called Dick, then hopefully you don't call him Dick. Language is fluid and cultural, and if you want to get along with people (Asians, Steve, Richard, women) then you should learn to use language their way.
I think that is really the more important reason, because it's totally fair if you don't understand why someone else finds something offensive. Everyone has had different life experiences and not everything offends everyone. But when a large swath of society says they find it offensive and you continue to do so, then you are being offensive regardless of whether or not you understand why. And in the end, if you choose to continue to be offensive just because you don't buy the reasoning, then you shouldn't be surprised when you get bad reactions and find it hard to bond.
Tips for a better life: Call people what they want to be called. Be nice for no reason. If in doubt, ask for advice from someone who doesn't look like you.
Ok, though I have never heard anyone say that without joking, change that " I went on a date with a male". Offensive? "I went on a date with a dude" Offensive? I don't think so. Similarly everyone gets objectified, that's part of being a human unfortunately since everyone uses everyone else as objects.
Asking to stop isn't a point, I can ask you to stop breathing does that obligate your breathing to be offensive? No, it simply means you feel that way. We don't call asians oriental anymore because it's not accurate and comes from a time when the average person if they met an Asian person they had probably met a Chinese person. Fun example being Indians, they've asked routinely not to be called that and guess what? They keep getting called Indians. Offensive? No, hilarious because all it points out is white European hubris. Similarly, what Steven wants to be called is irrelevant, what they respond to is if you get my point.
As the supreme court famously said, "one man's vulgarity is another man's lyric." I can't determine what is going to offend you because there is such a crazy weird amount of shit to be offended about, an accurate title that just makes you feel weird is not something worth worrying about. I avoid it anyway because I don't like to hear people's word virtue signaling rants when I don't.
It's not not-nice to call a female a female, it might make you feel weird but that's a you issue not an anyone else issue.
"Female as a noun is mostly used in science and medicine, and women don’t want to feel like test subjects."
I was told not to do this in science courses, mostly because it's not correct rather than notions of creepiness. It applied to any adjective but male and female were called out specifically. This was decades before "woke" was a thing.
I think it's not really used in the sciences, it's used by people who want to sound scientific but aren't.
That's interesting. In my science classes, and several others past level 12, instructors did and returning for CE, still do use fe/male. I'm wondering if this is regional, because a. there are plenty of military bases in my state and surrounding, b. plenty of medical university hospitals, c. plenty of elderly. What I'm getting at is people get into a habit of speaking a certain way at work, and it does spill over into everyday speech, unconsciously, especially when others speak similarly, and if they don't, seldom raise an eyebrow, let alone a fuss.
It really really rubs most of us the wrong way. Yet, for whatever reason, stupid men are taught that it is ok to call us "females". It is like we are corpses. Things. Not even people.
I mean I used to do it tons in the army, that was the accepted way to refer to the women. Like "hey where is the females bunk I need to drop something off to sgt jones"
I never meant it disrespectfully, can't speak for anyone else though.
It's not so much that the word itself is offensive it's just that using it as a noun instead of an adjective to refer to a person carries with it connotations and implies you're referring to a person as if they're a subject or an animal or something below human.
Even if someone called me a "male" constantly it would kind of freak me out. They are theoretically interchangeable, but male or female just comes off less "human" I guess. If they choose to only ever say male or female then it makes you wonder if they literally perceive you as inhuman.
Some of the guys I know seem to use it because they think it's a more PC way of saying it. One of them is married with kids who he has a good relationship with.
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