Man who calls women "females" hopes to one day be allowed within 500 meters of one ( chaser.com.au )
Tragedy Strikes After Malfunctioning Wind Turbine Spills Wind All Over Farmer’s Field ( thehardtimes.net )
‘Money Isn't Everything,' Says Person Who Has It ( reductress.com )
In a completely unsurprising story out of Manhattan, NY, the words “money isn’t everything” were just spoken at brunch by someone who, conveniently, has lots of it.
Ms. Rachel Trades Her Overalls for a Cardigan as She Takes Over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood ( lemmy.world )
In a surprising twist that has sent shockwaves through the educational television community, beloved children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel has officially taken over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. The first order of business? Retiring the iconic overalls for a collection of cozy cardigans that would make your grandma jealous....
Goddamn onion
Hunter Biden withdraws from Presidential race following felony conviction ( newsthump.com )
Joe Biden’s son Hunter has officially withdrawn from the race to become President of the United States following his felony conviction for gun offences....
Trump Boys Break Into CNN Office Attempting To Steal Debate Answers ( www.theonion.com )
“Are There Other Fairies Like The Tooth Fairy That Pay Money For Human Body Parts?” Asks Child to Shocked Mom ( lemmy.world )
6-year-old Mark Buffet has posed a question that has left his mother, Nancy Buffet, both bewildered and concerned: “Mom, are there any other fairies like the Tooth Fairy that pay money for human body parts?”...
“You Got This” Assures Father Who Doesn’t Know How To Help with His Son’s Algebra Homework ( lemmy.world )
In a scene not too uncommon in today’s world, local dad Alan Devlin reassured his high school son, Keith, with an enthusiastic “You got this!” to cover for having absolutely no idea how to help him with his Algebra homework....
CEO Relieved AI Can Never Replace Him If He Already Contributes Nothing To Company ( www.theonion.com )
Supreme Court issues token reasonable ruling ( thebeaverton.com )
New President of Mexico Warns of Remorseless Criminals North of Border ( www.borowitzreport.com )
Jimmy Carter Becomes Second President Convicted Of Felony For Sticking Up Waffle House ( www.theonion.com )
Guy Who Hates Taylor Swift Finally Hears One of Her Songs ( thehardtimes.net )
Texas to Celebrate 25th Anniversary of “The Green Mile” by Executing 25 Innocent People ( thehardtimes.net )
Study Finds Midnight Is Perfect Time for Cat to Do 14 Laps of Room Really Fast ( reductress.com )
Wealthy Canadians announce BMW X3 convoy to protest capital gains tax hike ( www.thebeaverton.com )
Researchers Train Mice To Choose Between Life-Saving Medications And Other Essentials ( www.theonion.com )
Nobel Prize to Be Awarded to Forum User From 9 Years Ago With Same Niche Problem ( hard-drive.net )
Tesla Announces Plan To Add Up-Skirt Cameras On All Vehicles ( www.theonion.com )
Game Over, Musk: Consoles Uninstall X to Avoid PR Dumpster Fire ( theglitchnews.netlify.app )
‘Our housekeeper only worked two days a week’, Rishi Sunak outlines a childhood filled with hardship ( newsthump.com )
Grandfather’s Eyes Light Up While Describing Memories Of Old Country Buffet ( www.theonion.com )
‘Balanced’ journalist pushes politician’s lie to prove they don’t have a ‘pro-fact’ bias ( chaser.com.au )
Nvidia to Rebrand as "Nvidai" in Bold Move to Cement AI Dominance
Santa Clara, CA — In a move that's already sending shockwaves through the tech industry, Nvidia announced today that it will be rebranding to "Nvidai" to better reflect its integral role in the artificial intelligence (AI) revolution....