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Having to score strangers on their 'empathy' and 'courtesy' and 'knowledge' (anything less than a 5 star is a 'bad grade', I am sure) ( lemmy.world )
by that i mean, those are intangible, effervescent parts of a human being that should not be quantized down to a fucking amazon star system. the 'anything less than 5 stars is actually bad' thing is disgusting as well - all modern companies do this.
“Are There Other Fairies Like The Tooth Fairy That Pay Money For Human Body Parts?” Asks Child to Shocked Mom ( lemmy.world )
6-year-old Mark Buffet has posed a question that has left his mother, Nancy Buffet, both bewildered and concerned: “Mom, are there any other fairies like the Tooth Fairy that pay money for human body parts?”...
“Are There Other Fairies Like The Tooth Fairy That Pay Money For Human Body Parts?” Asks Child to Shocked Mom ( lemmy.world )
6-year-old Mark Buffet has posed a question that has left his mother, Nancy Buffet, both bewildered and concerned: “Mom, are there any other fairies like the Tooth Fairy that pay money for human body parts?”...
Eve 6 - Inside Out ( www.youtube.com )
Tender. He wants to put his tender heart in a blender.
Local Angler Unimpressed by Son’s Tiny Catch ( lemmy.world )
In local news, a man’s reaction to his six-year-old son’s excitement over catching a six-inch bluegill has raised eyebrows in the community. Despite the child’s genuine joy and enthusiasm at reeling in his first catch, the father expressed disappointment, considering it a “pathetic” accomplishment....
“You Got This” Assures Father Who Doesn’t Know How To Help with His Son’s Algebra Homework ( lemmy.world )
In a scene not too uncommon in today’s world, local dad Alan Devlin reassured his high school son, Keith, with an enthusiastic “You got this!” to cover for having absolutely no idea how to help him with his Algebra homework....
“Big Trophy” Receives Huge Win in the Push to Sell Participation Trophies ( lemmy.world )
In a remarkable victory for the shadowy cabal of trophy manufacturers known as “Big Trophy,” an alleged child psychologist with questionable credentials has emerged in support of the practice of awarding participation trophies to all youth sports athletes, irrespective of their performance....
Enfamil Develops Tranquilizing Baby Formula with Help from Large Animal Veterinarians ( lemmy.world )
In an unprecedented move in the infant care industry, Enfamil, a leading infant formula manufacturer, has just announced the release of their latest innovation: Enfamil PM, a revolutionary baby formula that boasts military-grade animal tranquilizers to ensure babies sleep for a questionably unhealthy 18 hours straight! Welcome...
Mom Driven Insane by Blippi Screams ‘So Much to Learn About, Makes You Wanna Shout. Shoot Me!’ ( lemmy.world )
In what can only be described as a desperate cry for help, local mother of two, Karen Torrance, has reached the breaking point after enduring her 32nd consecutive Blippi video. Blippi, the beloved children’s YouTube sensation and his stupid orange and blue beret, has all but broken parents throughout the world....
"You Got This" Ensures Father Who Doesn't Know How To Help with His Son's Algebra Homework ( lemmy.world )
In a scene not too uncommon in today’s world, local dad Alan Devlin reassured his high school son, Keith, with an enthusiastic "You got this!" to cover for having absolutely no idea how to help him with his Algebra homework....
Local Angler Unimpressed by Son’s Tiny Catch ( lemmy.world )
In local news, a man’s reaction to his six-year-old son’s excitement over catching a six-inch bluegill has raised eyebrows in the community. Despite the child’s genuine joy and enthusiasm at reeling in his first catch, the father expressed disappointment, considering it a “pathetic” accomplishment....
KinderCare Announces Daycare Care Costs Will Now Include an Arm, Leg, or Possibly Both ( lemmy.world )
KinderCare announced today that, effective immediately, the cost of child care will require parents to sacrifice an arm or a leg—possibly both if they desire premium services such as snacks, lunch, and sunscreen....
Local Mom’s Wine Club Cleverly Disguised as a Book Club, Fools No One But Themselves ( lemmy.world )
In a quiet suburban neighborhood where minivans outnumber streetlights, a group of women have been ingeniously disguising their love of wine as a book club. While their intentions may be transparent to everyone else, these winos insist that their guise is a stroke of genius. “It’s a sophisticated literary club that explores...
Local Mom’s Wine Club Cleverly Disguised as a Book Club, Fools No One But Themselves ( lemmy.world )
In a quiet suburban neighborhood where minivans outnumber streetlights, a group of women have been ingeniously disguising their love of wine as a book club. While their intentions may be transparent to everyone else, these winos insist that their guise is a stroke of genius. “It’s a sophisticated literary club that explores...
Fisher-Price Debuts “Nostalgia Beats” – New Line of Musical Toys Featuring 90’s & 2000’s Hits ( lemmy.world )
In a move sure to appeal to millennial parents everywhere, Fisher-Price has announced the launch of a new line of musical toys featuring beloved hits from the 90’s and 2000’s. “I simply couldn’t stand to hear “Old McDonald” or “BINGO” one more time,” remarked one local parent. “For too long, parents have...
Where the Hell are Ryder’s From Paw Patrol's Parents? ( lemmy.world )
Ryder, the local young leader of the Paw Patrol, has long been a fixture in Adventure Bay. He is often seen gallivanting around town with his high-tech ATVs or overseeing operations in his pup-filled command center. However, recent concerns about his upbringing have left many locals bewildered and wondering where the hell are...
Where the Hell are Ryder’s From Paw Patrol's Parents? ( tattletaletimes.com )
Ryder, the local young leader of the Paw Patrol, has long been a fixture in Adventure Bay. He is often seen gallivanting around town with his high-tech ATVs or overseeing operations in his pup-filled command center. However, recent concerns about his upbringing have left many locals bewildered and wondering where the hell are...
United Healthcare Introduces Ear Infection Loyalty Card named “Infectious Rewards” ( lemmy.world )
United Healthcare, one of the largest health insurance providers in the US, recently introduced a new loyalty program targeting families with children who are prone to ear infections. The program, called “Infectious Rewards,” promises to give a free coffee mug to parents whose children experience 7 or more ear infections in...
‘Bluey’ Praised For Tackling Difficult Subject Of Walking In On Parents During Their Scheduled Weekly Sex ( www.theonion.com )
“We watch Bluey every week as a family, and I tell you, when Bandit sat Bluey down to explain to her that what she saw was just him and Mum doing something the therapist made them promise they’d do every Sunday night at precisely 7:30 p.m., I teared up,”
Wise Words to Live By ( lemmy.world )
Guy with the biggest kill streak on the battlefield's weapon of choice ( midwest.social )
Joe Rogan Experience Podcast Features First Child Guest Alec Jones ( lemmy.world )
The ever-unpredictable Joe Rogan Experience shattered another mold this week, welcoming its youngest guest ever: 9-year-old Alec Jones, a fourth grader from Austin, Texas. The episode, which aired yesterday, left audiences both amused and bewildered as Rogan delved into topics including ancient archeology, memories of the Comedy...
Dad Blows Through 10 Of Child’s Snack Packs In One Sitting ( www.theonion.com )
Columbia University Qualifies That Students Only Allowed to Stage Protest if It’s Quiet and Ineffective ( reductress.com )