For Republicans, raw milk is the new masking ( )

Essentially, for Republicans, it seems like avoiding raw milk is the new masking — and they’re just not going to do it in order to prove a point.

For instance, in April, Infowars host Owen Shroyer called the Food and Drug Administration a “gangster mafia” who wanted to “make raw milk illegal.”

“So, now that more people are going to local farms and farmers markets and consuming raw milk, this angers the FDA,” Shroyer said. “This angers Big Milk. Say, ‘No, you need to pasteurize milk, it’s a lot less healthy for you.’ See, eventually, they’ll just make it illegal. They’ll just make raw milk illegal. That’s what this is all about.”

Ibaudia , avatar

You can't tell me what to do!

Apparently for some, this is where right-wing political philosophy starts and ends. Everything else seems to be retrofit around this principle, regardless of its rationality. Even if the party in question is giving you sound advice, like not to drink raw milk, and is doing nothing to prevent you from doing so if you please.

todd_bonzalez ,
crystalmerchant ,

The knowledge fight guys are gonna love this

AceFuzzLord , avatar

I swear, modern Republicans are dumber than ever.

Government: A new disease is sweeping the nation! Side effects include instant death! Whatever you do, don't lick any lightbulbs!


That's what it feels like to me.

CharlesDarwin , avatar

I remember them hyperventilating over CFLs (mostly because Gore backed them, if we are going to be honest). Now that those are to be phased out, I wouldn't be surprised if they now hyperventilate over THAT.

Kolanaki , avatar

They just do the opposite of what you tell them so I have an idea: Tell them not to jump off a cliff.

dmMeYourNudes ,

Why do republicans want to kill themselves so badly?

jeffw OP , avatar

Anything to own the libs

Veneroso ,

Step one.
Bird Flu jumps to cattle
Step two.
Bird Flu in milk
Step three.
Milk, it does a body good!!!!!!

WhatYouNeed ,

Because they look in the mirror.

Suicide is out, so next best option is to hurt anyone else.

inclementimmigrant , (edited )

At least this time they'll just be owning the libs and themselves unlike with masking where they screwed everyone over.

WoahWoah ,

Yeah because raw milk has two important factors: 1) it's (kinda) illegal for health reasons "guv'ment not tell me what do!" And 2) it's largely a white people thing.

Grown adults in most of the world can't digest milk, because they are not children. Close to 80% of the world is lactose intolerant as an adult. Guess which demographic overwhelmingly ISN'T lactose intolerant? White people. From the same areas Hitler liked.

slurpeesoforion ,

Fun fact. Hitler was lactose intolerant. But he loved milk.

iiGxC ,

Animal agriculture is normalized animal abuse and needs to end

stoly ,

LOL I love how people can't help but viscerally react to that. It's like you told them that their grandmother sucks.

iiGxC ,

Oppressors are rarely happy to be told to stop oppressing 🤷

stoly ,

Worse, it seems it bothers people just as much to point that out.

wafflez ,

Based. Choose compassion today.

Wiz ,

Why don't they skip the middle step, and just suckle off the teat directly? It's healthier that way!

It's a conspiracy! Big Cow is getting in the way!

athairmor ,

Democrats need to start attempts at banning more things for them to defend. For example:

  • huffing glue,
  • trepanning,
  • russian roulette,
  • Flavor Aid with Valium, chloral hydrate, cyanide, and Phenergan.
el_bhm ,

Sef impaling.

Gangbang impaling.

billiam0202 ,

Once upon a time this was called "virtue signalling" but I think "vice-signalling" is better. A historian named David Perry defined it as such:

a public display of immorality, intended to create a community based on cruelty and disregard for others, which is proud of it at the same time.

In other words, being an asshole just to prove you belong with the other assholes in the rectum. And then you realize that everything the right does (and has been doing for decades) to "Own TEh LiBz!" can be ascribed to this:

  • Drinking raw milk
  • Anti-masking
  • Anti-vaxxing
  • Destroying their Dixie Chicks CDs
  • Not watching Disney
  • Destroying their Yetis
  • Tanning your Tucker Carlson
  • Claiming the Battle Flag of Virginia as their heritage
  • Etc.

That's why right-wing boycotts are usually ineffective- on the surface they might be mad about something, but since they're only performative said boycotts don't last long.

On a deeper level, however, this is more disturbing as it's another step on the road to fascism. Fascist groups are all about their purity and so members are driven to prove their inclusion in the in-group lest they be purged next. This creates a downward spiral of more and more extreme acts to maintain that facade of inclusion, which gets worse and worse for the people who have to exist with those assholes.

CharlesDarwin , avatar

Someone needs to tell them that the libs are extremely owned when they not just tan their undercarriage, but when it gets a nice, red hue in the entire area. To the point where there is later peeling.

The libs really, really, really hate this. Spread the word!

athairmor ,

| Tanning your Tucker Carlson

This could also work as a euphemism for exposing yourself in public. As in, “Bobert’s husband went jail for tanning his Tucker Carlson in front of some teenage girls at bowling alley.”

slurpeesoforion ,

Bobert was caught hand signing with Tucker Carlson at the Beetlejuice show.

werefreeatlast ,

So. If we do nothing, Republicans will go drink raw milk? Sounds ideal! Unless they also want the rest of us to drink raw milk. I'm vegan so it doesn't affect me, but sounds like a thing you just let them go crazy on. Then we can talk about COVID25 and the rise of madcowcovidbirdflu v2.1.

Leate_Wonceslace , avatar

The new GOP mascot needs to be a pig.

slurpeesoforion ,

They belong in the realm of disease, not animals.

ikidd , avatar

I hear the libtards also hate skydiving and jaywalking across busy highways wearing dark clothes in the middle of the night.

That'll own 'em if you do those things, too.

SkyezOpen ,

Skydiving is OK, but only because it's regulated. What really pisses the libs off is skydiving out of your buddy's crop duster with a homemade wingsuit.

ours ,

Gravity's a woke scam anyway, just jump from a tall place and drink those lib tears.

SentientFishbowl ,

Politics outside the US can get pretty goofy, but Americans just seem to be on another level... just a shame that we all end up having to deal with the consequences :(

AnUnusualRelic , avatar

I swear there has to be something in the water over there or something.

OccamsRazer ,

With these kind of articles, it's a safe bet that almost nobody at all, Republicans or otherwise, cares or even knows about raw milk. It's a non story.

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