What is *love*?

inb4 "Baby, don't hurt me."

But for real...what do people mean when they say "I love you," or "Do you love them?" I'm really confused by this because love seems to have such a varying definition. People say love for all sorts of things, and it seems like everyone else understands which definition they're using in the moment. Here are some examples in which each one has a different meaning:

  • I love pancakes.
  • I love my mother.
  • I love my romantic partner.
  • I love my best friend.
  • I love my career.
  • I love going to the beach.
  • My dog loves me.
  • That couple is in love.
  • Where is the love?

Background: I recently saw an episode of a show (spoiler below) where there was an adolescent heterosexual couple. The girl had a female best friend that she kissed, and is now confused about what she wants. She told her boyfriend about it. The boyfriend then asked her, "Do you love her?" What is he asking? If love means attachment and care, then clearly she does because that's her best friend. However, since that is so clear, he's not asking that. What is he asking??

Another specification is when people ask "Do you love them, or are you in love with them?"

I am confused by this term and the whole concept in general. I think I could really use some clarification, examples, or how to know which definition someone is going with when they use it.

Name of show

The show is Atypical on Netflix.

Resol ,
@Resol@lemmy.world avatar

Downvote me for asking the Google Assistant (I know Lemminos despise Google), but this is what it had to say:

"Love seems like one of the most important things people can share."

card797 ,

Baby don't hurt me.

Mr_Dr_Oink ,

🎵 Love is only a feeling 🎵

fruitycoder ,

Different cultures have different takes but greek and Latin define different forms of love. From impulsive maddening love (why cupids arrow was seen so harmful) to dutiful love (the kind made through obligations made through shared commitments and aspirations) to brotherly love (trauma bonds, solidarity, commitment made from shared respect).
There is also paternalistic love formed from empathy and a desire to protect. And of course love to describe the deep joy something gives you and desire to have it again.

When they ask "do you love her?" Based on the context I assume either or both love as a desire for the other or dutiful love, because both can be consuming for many and mean they would struggle to have that the capacity to share that same level of love with their current partner.

If they don't and it was an act of lust* or curiosity then they're partner may feel more comfortable with the commitment to them.

  • impulsive love and desire can be heavily intertwined with sexual desire but that is a whole other interesting discussion to me
Sendpicsofsandwiches ,
@Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works avatar

Howard Jones did a pretty good song dealing with this exact issue in the 80s

berryjam ,

I think it means you would go above and beyond for the object of your love.

Also I heard this somewhere and I agree:
"Being loved gives you strength.
Loving someone gives you courage."

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

I do not know where you heard that but that's a fantastic quote. I love you.

Today ,

My son always says i love you to his family and friends when leaving or ending a phone call. Then he started dating one of his friends and he felt like he had to stop saying it so she didn't think he meant he loved her. They had a conversation, agreed that the dating was just casual, and went back to saying i love you.

xia ,

For love as a standalone word, "value" is the most drop-in-compatible word. To say "i love you" is to say "i value you".

The form of "in love" is a far greater mystery to me, and i usually just consider the speaker to mean something like "obsessed" or "infatuated".

UrPartnerInCrime ,
@UrPartnerInCrime@sh.itjust.works avatar

Love is when you'll still do something even if it's 100% not what you want to do because it'll make them happy

DudeImMacGyver ,

Baby do-oh...

Never mind.

WeLoveCastingSpellz ,

OP is the fun police 😞

Mango ,

It's how we bundle together stuff we enjoy with sexual desire and sell it as moral goodness.

GeoGio7 ,

Loving someone means caring about them deeply. Being in love with someone means you also care deeply about them but you also can't and don't want to imagine your life without them. It also means they're the only person you want to be intimate with and you'd rather not be intimate at all with anyone, if it's not them.

At least that's what it means to me.

It's more a feeling than anything else, it's very visceral, once you've felt it you just know what it means. It's like those butterflies in your stomach, your heart beating fast, your breath catching in your chest.

It's not like that for everyone and it sounds cheesy but it's true.

SuiXi3D ,
@SuiXi3D@fedia.io avatar

Love is action.

You don’t feel love, you show it and recognize when it’s been shown to you. Saying you love someone is just words, but showing you love someone by listening when they need someone to listen or helping them in some other way is proof of love.

SORROW ,

Also I've never being loved outside my own family.

bear ,

You answered your own question. It means different things to different people at different times. To know what people mean you must use your basic language comprehension skills or ask them for clarification.

AVincentInSpace ,

or ask them for clarification.

How do this without it being the most awkward thing ever

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