Honestly, one comment, no. But I did stop playing online multiplayer games because the toxicity of the chat box made the experience frustrating and annoying instead of fun and I decided that it wasn't causing the emotions I wanted to be having in my free time.
back when I was doing mmos I found after you blocked enough users the chat was not to bad. This is one reason im big on the fediverse options being very raw but having tools to filter and block completely in the hands of the users.
Deeply? No, but you try and be funny or helpful and sometimes it offends someone because they read it a certain way (text can be ambiguous) and that can ruin a day for me. No good reason, mind you, but they can get really mean about it and what, do I apologize or fight? You didn't exactly want to clarify for a jackass coming after you for no reason.
I'm also not highly fond of people when they correct you on stuff when it's not really warranted. Lemmy does that a lot; you can't always write a 20pg paper about a random comment to address every little facit of what you said, haha.
Yeah I just leave those comments and walk away. Explaining or editing a comment no-one is ever going to read is not worth the time. Nothing good can come from it.
Once I was told that I deserved to be fired and, another time, I was told that I am unable to think properly so I shouldn't work as a software developer.
Both remarks were quite painful because they were not questioning my ideas/opinions but my professional abilities. I confess that in my "down" moments those thoughts tend to pop up even years later.
I think it has less to do with the comment and more to do with how hard you are on yourself. Here's a, not so secret, secret; a lot of successful people suffer from imposter syndrome. I know you probably know all this already but i am here to attest, I suck too at times, but that doesn't mean I'm a sucky person.
I just had someone say I should not be using a steambox because I feel swapping the ssd was not super easy? If you don't know what a steambox is, it is a piece of consumer electronics (just fyi just in case). The fact someone thinks they can comment on your abilities to work your job based on one thing indicates they are likely not qualified to give that advice.
As someone who grew up playing control decks in trading card games online... So many death threats from actual adults lmao... That being said, thanks to that now I don't even see anyone who throws death threats, or wishes harm on people online as human beings. Has been great for disconnecting emotionally from overly aggressive people online as an adult now.
From my experience people on the sites (lemmy, etc.), are way kinder, more respectful and accepting, than people, I meet in real life. That might also be my problem as I'm autistic and find almost any in-person comunication confusing.
Any time I watch settlers talk about Black people on the internet it reminds me we have made no real material progress towards liberation in the West, and likely never will until the West as we know it has fallen in. That's a regular pain; psychic damage, despair and rage at the same time.
How can you allow a comment to hurt you? Easy, by being human and having feelings. Comments can't hurt if you're an empty husk of a person who has no feelings; if you're hypervigilant about bracing for attacks; or if you never take a risk of being vulnerable and never share anything important about yourself. None of these options is particularly healthy. Having no feelings is a type of major depression, and living in fight-or-flight mode will lead you there, or to an early grave. The last option is at least reasonable online (but not in relationships), but not so easy in practice.
A common theme in the responses here is the element of surprise, comments and criticism that blindsided the person by hitting them in a vulnerable spot that they didn't know that they were exposing.
That certainly comports with my experience in receiving hurtful comments.
That’s easy for you to say, but you don’t have their experience and you don’t feel their emotions. I agree that we should strive for that, but expecting everyone to just brush off everything is unrealistic.