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johnhattan

@johnhattan@dobbs.town

Grand High Arch Exalted UberPope of The First Church of Shatnerology, Protector of All Things Toupeed, and Defender of The Rind.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I was once again mistaken for a bot, so here's a picture of me and my girlfriend in the beautiful state of West Virginia. It's a lot like Virginia, but with less east.

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts since when was the Eiffel Tower in West Virginia?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I miss Blockbuster.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts crap. I still need to return that copy of "Pumpkinhead".

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I don't follow everyone back. I only follow people back who can dig holes. Deep holes. I am assembling the world's greatest team of hole diggers. Experts say you can't dig a hole from New York City to China due to "physics" and "geology" but I say they've never met a hole digging team like mine.

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts I AM READY https://youtu.be/34CZjsEI1yU

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I can't wait.

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts that is just so. . .him!

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Those were simpler times.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts Golden retrievers are natural superconductors.

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

What is Tucker talking about? No one in NYC is "scared to ride the subway"

The worst thing about the subway is the ADA wasn't funded so there aren't elevators at every station.

Do people not in NYC really think it's still the early 80s in NYC? WTF.

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@futurebird I'm a Texan who visited NYC a couple of years ago.

I was not frightened by any of your mass transit.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's so wholesome.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts makes sense. Once that bird quit singing, the miners got all upset.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Good news everyone! I had the honor of receiving Elon Musk's first Neuralink wireless brain chip! I've honestly never felt better. I am energized, focused, and can sense my brain operating at levels previously unreachable by humanity.

But I must go now, for the Tesla Gigafactory calls to me. I see the glorious assembly line each time I close my eyes. Just the thought of working myself to death there gives me an unparalleled dopamine rush.

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts Good deal. I got the Bill Gates 5G biochips from my 'rona vaccines. They do let me receive 5G in my brain, but I have to use Bing.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I deeply regret buying this TV stand before it went on sale.

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts yeah, but I bet you qualified for free shipping.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I love llamas.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

johnhattan ,
@johnhattan@dobbs.town avatar

@lowqualityfacts Well I'm safe then.

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