TubularTittyFrog

@TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world

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Can someone explain me USA obsession with prom and similar school rituals?

I just don't get it... Why is that important, especially for kids now, that feel like they need to do a YouTube video asking for a date or doing some meme stuff. Some teens even hire the hottest celebrity or ask them to appear in their prom? This is so bizarre for me, all that just for a frivolous night....

TubularTittyFrog ,

most proms are held in a the gym with a shitty dj and shitty catered food. but you're not gonna see that portrayed in media. parents drop them off, there are no limos.

TubularTittyFrog ,

because the rules only apply to bad people. good people don't need no rules!

TubularTittyFrog ,

the reality is that incompetent managers love to blame their employees for not doing shit they never told them to do.

TubularTittyFrog ,

My father was a great anti-role model.

I tried my hardest to not be like him and his shittiness.

How do you connect with people and make friends without social media?

I'm struggling to figure out how to make friends without having Instagram or any other social media. I have discord but don't use it much. I see all my acquaintances in discord channels and sharing Instagram posts and stuff. It's already hard for me to make friends, but I feel like not having any of the traditional social media...

TubularTittyFrog ,

That isn't true at all. Plenty of volunteers are shitty people.

A group I was recently with just had a huge scandal because someone who joined had a sexual offender records and we were working with kids... he basically fucked everyone over and the entire org had to stop operations for months until every member clear background checks.

TubularTittyFrog ,

ok, now we have moved to 'if you don't volunteer you are less than as a person.'

seriously, volunteering has zero to do with one's moral worth in life. tons of good people never volunteer. lots of shitheads do. volunteering isn't some inherently moral/good act. lots of people volunteer for shitty reasons and do shitty things.

TubularTittyFrog ,

it's usually simpler than that. conservatives pay more than liberals.

i know a few leftists who have now gone hard right... because they got paid more to spout conservative conspiracy nonsense than they did liberal/socialist stuff.

How to fix Korea's birthrate? Put girls in school earlier, controversial report argues ( koreajoongangdaily.joins.com )

"Notably, Chang's report claims that biological females develop earlier than males do, so requiring girls to enter school at younger ages will create classes in which the two sexes are of more equal maturity as they age. This, the author posits, makes it more likely that those classmates will be attracted to each other, and...

TubularTittyFrog ,

the elites and politicians never once in their life had the life of a normal person. that's what. they born into their wealth and power and just think the rest of us are lazy for not being born into it.

TubularTittyFrog , (edited )

I get called judgemental all the time. I have on idea why. I don't judge anyone. And yet.... they judge me as judgemental.

It drives me nuts. I think it's just my face and the fact I don't smile constantly. It also makes socializing very difficult, because I only tend to get along with very secure chill folks... which there aren't many of in the world. I often have people blow up at me for 'being mean to them' even though I have said nothing to them and didn't even notice them.

TubularTittyFrog ,

people who shit on people for imperfect language are insecure assholes.

it's just as stupid online when people grammar police you for written words.

TubularTittyFrog ,

if you think not having anyone is bad, dating will ruin you. it's brutal, illogical, and cruel.

TubularTittyFrog ,

no you can't.

I am over 35. I had no toruble finding people 20-35. Now I have a lot of trouble and I have nothing in common with people my own age, not to mention the ones i do meet up with... are incredibly angry at their exes/life, and many of them are still expecting to find 'the one' as in someone who saves them from their own bad choices/habits. It's dark.

at least when i was younger people were optimistic and fun.. now a first date is always 'what's your income, what is the price of your home, can you provide for me? if you aren't you're a selfish worthless asshole of a man'.

and i'm like, 'ok'.

TubularTittyFrog ,

bingo.

the whole 'you'll do better when you're older' is a myth told to silence people who are unhappy in their 20s. Things don't get better, they stay the same or get worse. People don't magically mature at the age of 35 or anything... typically they just double down on bad attitudes.

TubularTittyFrog ,

femboys are in rn

TubularTittyFrog ,

a lot of people just refuse to fix their shit and take responsibility for their actions. you don't have to be one of them

TubularTittyFrog ,

I leave people alone because I want to be left alone.

TubularTittyFrog ,

Yeah, that's it. I'm clearly autistic. Even though I have zero symptoms of autism or ADHD and have been tested for it and had low markers... just like the ordinary average person does.

TubularTittyFrog ,

The mean life is life? Everyone deals with that.

Every single person agonizing about what is 'wrong' with them. Why people don't 'like' them. etc. Esp very popular, attractive, and successful people. They agonize about it a lot more than you.

TubularTittyFrog ,

big billowy clothing is in right now. it's not supposed to 'fit'.

TubularTittyFrog ,

what about what people say about you IRL behind your back?

TubularTittyFrog ,

Talk to someone who has been through a divorce and had their entire life destroyed.

And get out of your own head.

TubularTittyFrog ,

people generally tell comforting myths and lies to themselves and collectively because the harsh reality of the situation is too terrifying to accept.

people also generally believe that 'one day i'll be rich'. even though they are 45 and working at a cashier in a gas station.

it's also easier to tell yourself comforting BS because then you don't have to take action and realize you are mostly a product of the choices you have made.

TubularTittyFrog ,

are you sure?

TubularTittyFrog ,

do women approach you or flirt with you?

TubularTittyFrog ,

so downvote most things on lemmy then?

TubularTittyFrog ,

there is also more diverse content than the crap that was on here six months ago.

when 50% of the frontpage is linux memes... you're not going to gain the interest of most new users. now it seems to be down to about 20%

TubularTittyFrog ,

instances are just distinct servers really.

and some of them are purpose/politics specific.

TubularTittyFrog ,

fwiw i like reading long ass comments. usually there is something useful or insightful in there.

way more than i like reading 'ok boomer' comments.

but totally get that it doesn't make a difference and the vast majority of the replies will be of the 'ok boomer' or 'u suck' variety.

TubularTittyFrog ,

really uninteresting porn, sadly.

TubularTittyFrog ,

Omakase is paying for the presentation, not the food.

plenty of excellent cheap sushi places around.

TubularTittyFrog ,

it's ok. you're in the majority of people in boston. non snooty snobs are a minority.

TubularTittyFrog , (edited )

it's scary. I work in IT and many gen Z kids leave their personal financial stuff on work computers...

the spending/debt they are in is nuts... and it's stupid stupid debt. one kid had $10,000 in credit card debt over 6 months of spending and was making like $100 payments on $1000s per month in spending. the spend like they make $250K a year even though they make 40K. he's probably 23-25.

TubularTittyFrog ,

my card gets me 3% back on groceries and 5% back on restaurants. i get back $30 each month back in rewards.

TubularTittyFrog ,

anything that's on your work computer is company property.

it's my job to look at anything on company computers.

TubularTittyFrog ,

It's in our user policy that we have the right to view anything stored on company equipment and do whatever we want with it. They are repeatedly warned not to do any personal business on company computers.

You can't fix stupid though. This idiot had his CC info stored in web browser. Least to say... he was fired and I was asked to review his equipment for evidence for termination. He left a fuckload of evidence... lol including his fan-fiction writing.

TubularTittyFrog ,

capital one

TubularTittyFrog , (edited )

It's my job to know what the fuck people are doing with our computer systems and if it's a threat. Using work systems for personal business is grounds for termination. Revealing sensitive company information to your therapist via company email... also grounds for termination. etc.

Just like it's my job to know if they are looking at porn on company computers. I live in America. GDPR doesn't exist there and we don't do any business in Europe.

I'm glad you want to protect idiots from themselves. I don't. My job is to protect the company from idiots who are doing stupid shit they shouldn't be doing that may lead to our systems being compromised. kid should have done his banking on his personal cell phone and he might not have been fired. we even offer out of band wi-fi for employees to do shit like that...

TubularTittyFrog ,

it was walking dead fan fics with themselves inserted as a character fucking the main characters... standard fan fic crap.

it was saved in .txt files for some reason, that was the weird part.

TubularTittyFrog ,

yeah it's small. don't have the budget for crazy shit. it's me and one HR lady. we are a team. this guy was fired for cause, and i was told to find evidence to backup the cause. it was there.

TubularTittyFrog ,

No. They are taught that you can't do without and you should do whatever you can do to get it. Which means take on massive debt and worry about it later. YOLO

TubularTittyFrog ,

i look like a football player. that's why. big strong dudes w/o tatoos aren't liberal. that's for scrawy tatooted guys with piercings.

TubularTittyFrog ,

sorry it's 2024. you must pick a gender. there are 2024 choices though!

TubularTittyFrog ,

i don't get the hate for metal. i'm not super into it but i like some of it.

but you can't really talk about it. people think you are a nazi if you say you like it

TubularTittyFrog OP ,

yeah lemmy definite feels like that. full of crazies who won't relent until you tell them they are right and you are wrong and you are horrible evil person for disagreeing with them over something like bicycle lanes.

but there are some middle ground folks, thankfully.

TubularTittyFrog OP ,

same. you could disagree and joke about it. now it's all demonization, labels, etc.

i feel like you could share an experience/thought and get interesting responses... now it's just people trying to pigeonhole you and decide if you are 'on their side' or not. you could make a joke about a bad date and people would be like 'haha same' now it's 'why do you hate x', 'clearly you are mentally ill', 'you are clearly evil'. very little discussion... just judgement and hate.

Am seriously considering founding a not-for-profit to provide an ad free / spam free / bot free basic community. Would cost a dollar or two a month. Chief differences to the lemmy would be one account per person via proof of identity signup (I think this would improve behaviour and discourage spam), a single authority to tackle voting abuse and other things useful to be not federated.

TubularTittyFrog OP ,

amen. i feel like there used to be a barrier. now people get up in my face for drinking a diet coke, because it's a 'political act' because trump drinks diet coke, so therefore i must support trump.

It's insanity.

TubularTittyFrog OP ,

same.

What I've learned as a male dating coach ( www.gq-magazine.co.uk )

If you feel like the dating landscape is bleak, take comfort in the fact you’re not alone. A recent YouGov poll showed that 46% of people using apps like Tinder and Bumble have had bad experiences, and three in five people find the profiles they’re shown to be unappealing. Combine that with a cost of living crisis and the...

TubularTittyFrog ,

dating apps pre tender just had horde of gross men harassing women who wanted nothing to do with them.

sexual selection is inherently unequal. men find 50% of women attractive. Women only find 20% of men attractive.

sexual selection is not egalitarian, it's more a winner take most model.

enen if you have small dating pools, women still will all gravitate to want to date the 'best' men in the group and reject the other 20%.

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