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Hossenfeffer

@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

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Hossenfeffer ,
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I go with quilted. Not artisinal, hand-crafted, 8-ply quilted with a 3000 thread count of Egyptian cotton, but... heh... wait for it... bog standard supermarket own brand quilted. See what I did there? No? I'll let myself out.

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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I think it sends the intended message: "The UK is open for business and we're cutting regulation 'cos we don't give a fuck!"

Hossenfeffer ,
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Tomb Raider on OG PlayStation.

I remember walking around after pretty much a solid day of playing and just swing buildings in terms of which ones Lara / I could climb.

Hossenfeffer ,
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I, for one, welcome our new, tolerant, Viking overlords.

Hossenfeffer ,
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A new hand touches the beacon...

Hossenfeffer ,
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A liquid which on command becomes as solid and unyielding as diamond.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Mr Sunak said: “... there are forces trying to divide our society in this increasingly uncertain world."

Yes, Rishi, and you lead one of those forces, you oleaginous minifig.

How to rewild your teenagers: a parents’ guide to reconnecting them with nature ( www.theguardian.com )

From sniffing dandelions to prodding frogspawn and chasing butterflies, young children are often automatically and unashamedly drawn to nature. Then a chasm opens. During adolescence, many declare wildlife boring, “icky” or uncool, while the allure of social networks and fast fashion intensifies, alongside mounting pressures...

Hossenfeffer ,
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If you’ve waited until they’re teenagers to get them to love being in nature, you’ve done it wrong.

Well, aren't you just super and special? You may be right but that doesn't help people who have 'done it wrong', does it?

Hossenfeffer ,
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In related news, Suella Braverman will suffer no consequences for acting unlawfully.

Hossenfeffer ,
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If it was a huge success then feel free to post the details to recipes.

Hossenfeffer ,
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You might feel like that but… what kind of lettuce? What breed of tomatoes? What cut of bacon: back, middle, or streaky? Smoked or unsmoked? Fried, grilled, or baked? What kind of bread? Any butter? Mayonnaise? Salad cream? Any salt and pepper? If pepper, black or white?

A great BLT is a thing of utter joy, easily and deservedly one of the best sarnies in the world. But the details matter.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Let's fucking go!

Hossenfeffer ,
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Magic The Gathering is racist?

Hossenfeffer ,
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At last, we have ray guns!

https://feddit.uk/pictrs/image/cf41265b-8a71-4aa8-85e5-472b6aa9b686.webp

Hossenfeffer ,
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It's gone downhill since Tom Baker, I agree.

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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Glamorising crime or the degenerate behaviour of the underclasses isn’t funny or clever either. It’s fucking sad that society has made huge sections see crime as a viable option.

Indeed! Porridge and Only Fools And Horses were wildly irresponsible programmes and did irreparable harm to society.

Hossenfeffer ,
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You've never watched two of the most celebrated and successful British sitcoms of all time?

Hossenfeffer ,
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You must be an absolute hoot at funerals.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Well, they picked a theme and went with it.

Hossenfeffer ,
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"Oh no, he's been swigging his for ages. He says he likes it. Actually, come to think of it, he started before the water ran out."

Hossenfeffer ,
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Almost 100% of women I know have personal experience of being sexually assaulted or harassed by a man.

0% of women I know have personal experience of being attacked by a bear.

It's not hard to understand why women are choosing the bear.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Your rabid misogyny is showing. Maybe stop foaming at the mouth?

Hossenfeffer ,
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What absolute bollocks - Jesus, probably.

‘I see cocaine in wild shrimp in Suffolk’: meet the scientist who analyses our wastewater ( www.theguardian.com )

Water detective Dr Leon Barron studies London’s wastewater, analysing it in all its chemical, narcotic, polluted glory, before and after treatment. Amazingly, he still drinks the stuff from the tap...

Hossenfeffer ,
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Tried snorting some frozen prawns from Iceland. Would not recommend.

Hossenfeffer ,
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8th dimension, obv.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Loved Thumbly Stadium.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Is the from a book by Sylvanus P. Thompson?

Hossenfeffer ,
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There may be nothing to indicate who the sender is, whereas there is always something to indicate who the recipient is. So they put a charge on the recipient if they wish to receive the letter. I don't believe you have to pay the fine if you don't want the letter.

Hossenfeffer ,
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how does that work? A fireball underwater?

Magic. It works by magic.

Hossenfeffer ,
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What kind of stuff do you like?

Hossenfeffer ,
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Emperor's comment is a great starting place. The Ealing comedies, in particular, are glorious.

For TV series, Wikipedia has you covered. Some of the heavy hitters from that list are:

  • A for Andromeda
  • The Avengers
  • Dr. Who
  • Hancock's Half Hour
  • The Saint
  • Steptoe and Son
  • Z-Cars
Hossenfeffer ,
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Some systems require your to change your password periodically. What do you change to if your existing password was 'abc123'?

Hossenfeffer ,
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I mean, Nelson Hah-hah, but I can't help but wonder how a guy manages to be quite successful and then toss it all away like he has. Is it a lack of comprehension? Does he get so shit-faced he can't help blurting out some twattery on Shitter? Or does he just lack any kind of filter and sense of self-preservation?

Hossenfeffer ,
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A good BLT is top-tier, without a doubt but a BLT is really a tomato sandwich with bacon and lettuce, so it all rests on the quality of tomatoes and good tomatoes are hard to come by these days unless you grow your own.

Ham and tomato or cheese and tomato are also good. Make sure to use plenty of white pepper on the tomato though! Not black, and not freshly ground. The white pepper brings out the tomato flavour better.

I'm disappointed not to see the chip butty make an appearance.

Also disappointed, but not surprised, not to see the Sheffield fishcake butty in there. This, with lashings of salt and vinegar, is absolute god-tier levels of sarnie. I once drove a 280-mile round trip just to have a Sheffield fishcake butty for lunch. But most poor, unfortunate fools have never experienced the joy. The Sheffield fishcake makes other fishcakes ashamed and, in butty form, absolutely shits all over a fish finger sarnie.

Also, now I think about it, I used to enjoy the occasional roast pork butty with crackling and applesauce when I lived in Sheffield. Another glory that seems unavailable down south. Fuck, it's grim down south.

Hossenfeffer ,
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The craving had been building for some time and then work announced a 'well-being' day for everyone in the company. Obv., some people used theirs for a spa day, reconnecting with nature, or some intense physical exercise.

Me, I drove to my favourite chippy in Sheffield and got a fishcake butty. No regrets, even though traffic was a bitch on the way home.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Misread your list and wondered deeply at 'cucumber jam'. Not prepared to try it on the off-chance, mind you.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Perhaps you, and others in this thread, misunderstand.

The point of butter, or mayonnaise, in most sandwiches is to protect the bread from sog. Any sarnie involving tomato, for example, that doesn't have a protective layer between the to's (I'm trying this out as a contraction of tomatoes) and the bread will end up with soggy, soggy bread. And no one wants soggy, soggy bread,

Hossenfeffer ,
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Just one more lane.

Hossenfeffer ,
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As long as they remember to stand on the right on the escalators they'll be alright.

Hossenfeffer ,
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'Meat and crumpets' sounds like we're trying to copy chicken and waffles but doing it wrong.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Yup, that's the myth.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Good job their reputation is so utterly flawless or this might seem like a monumentally dumb bit of PR right now.

Hossenfeffer ,
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If you receive a letter with a fake stamp I think you can refuse the fine but don't then get the letter. Same as if someone hasn't put enough stamps on something.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Awwwwww. I was hoping for takeaway recommendations.

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