GottaLaff ,
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Not from The Onion. For realsies…

Via Acyn:

“So Donald sent out a fundraising pitch that reads, Dear Melania I love you. Even after every single indictment, arrest, and witch hunt, you never left my side”

obscurestar ,
@obscurestar@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff That exploding proximity collar he slapped on her as part of the prenups was a rock solid investment.

TeeCeeGee ,
@TeeCeeGee@mastodon.nz avatar

@GottaLaff Well, he does pretend to be a business man on TV, and a contract is a contract. 😏

WmShakesp3are ,
@WmShakesp3are@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff “never left my side” except for the last three years and a month or so, give or take.

anathema_device ,
@anathema_device@bne.social avatar

@GottaLaff "you never left my side"

Unless she's the size of a male angler fish, and hiding under tfg's combover, this is literally and spectacularly untrue.

I hope Melania is shagging the prettiest SS agent on her team, just because it will be driving fuckface insane :)

Cateo ,
@Cateo@mstdn.social avatar

@GottaLaff
Even a valentine to his wife is about himself.

GottaLaff OP ,
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

@Cateo (It's not a valentine, it's a fundraiser) I know you know that, but I had to say it.

Cateo ,
@Cateo@mstdn.social avatar

@GottaLaff 😂

GottaLaff OP ,
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

@Cateo 😊

clayrivers ,
@clayrivers@mastodon.world avatar

@GottaLaff 🥴🤢🤮

Compassionatecrab ,
@Compassionatecrab@toad.social avatar

@GottaLaff
Someone should post details of her side action.

Abs1nthe ,
@Abs1nthe@mstdn.party avatar

@GottaLaff
Definitely ghost written.

CStamp ,
@CStamp@mastodon.social avatar

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @CStamp SO pathetic.

    kristen_d ,
    @kristen_d@mastodon.social avatar

    @GottaLaff In a perfect world, her reply would be, 'Those days are over, asshole. You blew it, Nazi. Go fuck yourself. See you in Divorce Court, scumbag.'

    Atticus1956 ,
    @Atticus1956@mastodon.social avatar

    @GottaLaff

    Hmmm?? It didn't read "Dear Melania, wherever you are" .... I'm astounded. LOL.

    wc_thats_me ,
    @wc_thats_me@worldkey.io avatar

    @GottaLaff then where is she?

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @wc_thats_me Russia?

    artemesia ,
    @artemesia@techhub.social avatar

    @GottaLaff

    > Even after every single indictment, arrest, and witch hunt

    Referencing his arrests*? Gettin' desperate, is he?

    *technically, when self surrendering at his various arraignments he is under arrest and in custody of the court staff until the judge should choose to release him.

    TCatInReality ,
    @TCatInReality@mastodon.social avatar

    @GottaLaff
    No "billionaire" ever begged for money as much as TFG

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @TCatInReality Because as we all know. he's not a billionaire.

    TCatInReality ,
    @TCatInReality@mastodon.social avatar

    @GottaLaff
    🎯

    rgulick ,
    @rgulick@social.coop avatar

    @GottaLaff
    Melania: "That damn prenup!"

    Huck ,
    @Huck@mstdn.party avatar

    @GottaLaff
    Shitler's Red Sparrow won't be divorcing until their handler says so.
    Florida is creating a breading ground for this once rare species.

    riley ,
    @riley@toot.cat avatar

    @GottaLaff If I didn't know that Melania can hold her own while renegotiating the prenuptial, I'd feel bad for her.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @riley Feel bad why? She chose to marry and stay with him. She supports him openly, every bit of his fascism.

    The mere notion of feeling bad for her under any circumstances doesn't even occur to me.

    riley ,
    @riley@toot.cat avatar

    @GottaLaff

    She couldn't have foreseen all the presidential bullshit that he's capable of when she first agreed to marry him.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @riley But she could see it when he was cheating people, committing fraud all over NY, and discriminating against Black people at his properties.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @riley Oh, I forgot womanizing and lying.

    And birtherism.

    Wileymiller ,
    @Wileymiller@mastodon.social avatar

    @GottaLaff
    Two reasons why Melania sticks with him...Prenup and NDA.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @Wileymiller But she married him to begin with. $$$$

    And has supported him openly.

    What a nice transaction that all was.

    PandaChronicle ,
    @PandaChronicle@ohai.social avatar

    @GottaLaff @Wileymiller
    And she actively endorsed his birther BS. She knew what he was when she married him.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @PandaChronicle Right, that's my point. @Wileymiller

    anathema_device ,
    @anathema_device@bne.social avatar

    @GottaLaff @Wileymiller She got citizenship out of the deal too.

    monicarooney ,
    @monicarooney@mstdn.ca avatar

    @GottaLaff funny, I never see them together. Probably because she hates him. It’s the only good thing about her.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @monicarooney She supports him openly.

    monicarooney ,
    @monicarooney@mstdn.ca avatar

    @GottaLaff oh she loves his politics. I think she hates him.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @monicarooney Agree.

    TerpieCat ,
    @TerpieCat@ohai.social avatar

    @GottaLaff Oh ffs.

    praetor ,
    @praetor@social.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff wow. They don't live together because the secret service is afraid she'll murder him. Just how narcissistic and oblivious do you have to be to not realize that your wife is the one trying to do the patriotic duty here?

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @praetor If she were patriotic, she wouldn't be married or associated with him in any way

    praetor ,
    @praetor@social.sdf.org avatar

    @GottaLaff well obviously she did not take full advantage of the free trial before she signed that ironclad prenup that she can't get out of. She's pretty. Regardless of what Aesop says, that doesn't always mean someone is smart and greed is a hell of a drug.

    ArmyGirl ,
    @ArmyGirl@mastodon.world avatar

    @GottaLaff @praetor depends on what country your "patriotism" supports.

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @ArmyGirl This be true. @praetor

    BernieDoesIt ,
    @BernieDoesIt@mstdn.social avatar

    @GottaLaff Does it finish with "exactly according to contract?"

    peteriskrisjanis ,
    @peteriskrisjanis@toot.lv avatar

    @GottaLaff hahahaha that is just sad, I suddenly feel so much better about my personal life

    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @peteriskrisjanis LOL

    KatM ,
    @KatM@mastodon.social avatar

    [Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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    GottaLaff OP ,
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    @KatM He's such a softie

    MargaretSefton ,
    @MargaretSefton@writing.exchange avatar

    @GottaLaff I feel a little of the Broadway Evita theme music with an altered lyric: "The truth is you never left me...All through my wild days, my mad existence, you kept your promise, I'll keep my distance."

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