dependencyinjection

@dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de

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dependencyinjection ,

Nah just crowd fund a hitman.

dependencyinjection ,

Surely the correct thing to do is move along if you don’t care.

We don’t care that you don’t care.

dependencyinjection ,

I downvoted you for insulting people. Perhaps you should work on how you say things, and not just the message you’re trying to convey.

dependencyinjection OP ,

I could list a few. 

- Christmas when I was about 10 I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. Thanks nana. The man who raised is my dad to me still. 

- Leading on from the last one. Later in life my biological father got in touch and giving it all the life complicated spiel. I was indifferent but figured sure I’ll meet. Turns out he was back with my mum and now I’m back at home and he ain’t ever act like a dad, and now he doesn’t see if other daughters since he got back with my mum. Dudes a joke. 

- as you might have noticed I’ve had a tumultuous childhood. Mum spent my formative years flipping between my non-bio dad and the man who I have a half brother with, who I ain’t seen in 30 years. So I spent the time sat in the back of a car whilst she called men to her friend or went in pubs to pour pints on their head. 

- one time we came home and saw burglars robbing our flat. Probably something to do with my half brothers dad. 

- one time as a young adult, the man that raised me was out getting drunk in his mates house. My mum made me break the door down and she went in all guns blazing grabbing a golf club and going ham. 

- Fell in a canal at night off my box on Xanax and thought I might die. Threw out my stashed and literally nearly died from withdrawals. 

- surprising not been assaulted many times cause I used to be a righteous mouthy cunt when drunk, i don’t drink at all as I saw how it broke my dad, well my mum did but alcohol didn’t help. 

- watched as my mum and dad had a loveless marriage and at the start he used to hit her, then later she bullied his ass for decades. Like take his wages and refuse him money for cigs. 

- on way to school vacation and got told my dad was going prison for driving drunk whilst banned. 

- saw my tea dumped on her head. 

- it’s all coming back now. One time my dad tried to drive the car into our house but it got stuck in the bushes. 

That’s just a few, but yeah it’s no wonder I’m fucked, not an excuse as I’ve made progress and got a good job now. Not sure I’m happy but I’ve just shut off the stuff I grew up around as what else can I do.

dependencyinjection OP , (edited )

I honestly don’t know, I was pretty fucked up until 4 years ago and things only got better as I lucked out and got a job at Apple where they really enforced that you should strive to be the best, plus everyone there was successful in some other way. It came with healthcare which led to an ADHD diagnosis, which led to cutting down on drugs and that led to retraining as a software developer and now totally drug free for almost a month. Been a dev for a year.

Had that not happened I’d still be fucked. Now I don’t know if I was in that state because of my past or not.

To answer your question, I would say compassionate, but again I don’t know if it’s because of the things I went through or just the way I am. I have empathy for days and like to think I am on the right side of history with many things.

Now as the oldest, I saw a lot more than my brothers and they are nothing at all like me in terms of compassion, activism, and genuinely always trying to understand other people. I don’t care if you’re black, white, or pink. Junkie, criminal, or bum. As long as you’re trying to be a better person I will give you time and listen.

Ultimately, I’d say I really don’t know but anger is something I’ve never suffered from. Although there could be an argument for turning any anger inwards in self destructive manners, but again with ADHD they go hand in hand too.

One thing for sure is we are who we are due to our pasts in a certain way and it can be harder for some people and easier for others to overcome it.

Edit: It just occurred to me you said childhood trauma, but I hadn’t really thought about it that much that it would be trauma. Interesting.

dependencyinjection OP ,

Im sorry you had to go through those things and that you still struggle today with it.

It seems to be a trend that when those closest to you are doing terrible things to you that they’ll gaslight you. Nothing worse than living with a devil, but they’re painting themselves as the saint to your mutual friends. It can really bring out the worst in yourself.

I hope you have some good ways of coping with the trauma now as it isn’t healthy to burden yourself or carry that around.

If you want to chat you can always reach out and I’ll listen with no judgement. 👊

dependencyinjection OP ,

I can relate to this, although I didn’t go the degree route to end up as a software developer and in not sure how much of this will be transferable, but you literally have plenty of time and you can make vast changes in a short period of time.

I completed a bootcamp, but I just couldn’t perform in interviews and I got so anxious I would either clam up or just talk too much, ADHD too much.

I was devastated as I pinned all my hopes of being happy on this career change. So I did another bootcamp and again sucked at interviewing. I was making loads of projects on GitHub but not progressing. Suffice to say I managed to get fired by a small company and although the pay isn’t amazing, and I’m still insecure about my skills. You will get hired if you persist.

The other point I want to make, is I am still not happy, I am happier to be doing something I enjoy but it’s still a grind man. My employers didn’t care about my GitHub and didn’t even look at it, didn’t check my portfolio and really they wanted someone that was capable of following their coding practices rather than someone who would be pig headed about all they knew.

It also matters what roles you’re applying for. I was never going to be hired by London banks as I just didn’t fit in or have that mindset, although I interviewed for a few. I found my place in small company that will help me grow my skills and confidence. Maybe in the future I can move somewhere else, but still not a massive company. I have friends working in Canary Wharf and they have maybe 10% the coding I get to do, because they have to go through review processes and such and maybe what they build doesn’t even go live ever.

I guess I just want to say if massive salary isn’t your only goal and you just want to have a somewhat fun job where you solve problems then stick at it, but you first have to get out of the rut, which is the hardest thing in the world. You’ll need to reach out to friends, family or people on here for support to get a routine. Sleep is the hardest. Stop sleeping in the day if you do that, I like to take walks when I finish work before dinner time just so I don’t sleep. Then you can sleep at night, then you’ll be able to have a routine. Once you have a routine you just have to grind out the soul destroying interviews until you find one that lands. I know it can be disheartening, but honestly if I can get hired then anybody can.

You’re 24 and I made it at late thirties. Now I will confess I am lucky (sad) enough to be back at my mums so I was able to save money and not stress so much.

Another thing that helped me no end was working at Apple. I started as a Christmas temp and moved to the Genius Bar. Working there is something else. Like everybody had another side hustle, whether it be photography, music making or whatever. When you’re surrounded by people like that it’s kinda inspiring. Plus you get to handle problem solving too and really work on the social skills required. For instance talking to customers whilst typing on an iPad is hella hard at first as it feels rude not to be looking at them. Plus handling all the assholes etc.

This is long now and I digress a lot, but essentially, even if cliche, you can make it. You just have to stick at it. Even through the hardest of times. For me keeping my mind busy and routine is key otherwise I’m prone to wallow and wonder why nothing changes.

Also, the grass ain’t not greener over here. Perhaps we are not destined for happiness but we can have a less horrible time you know.

dependencyinjection OP ,

Dude that’s the sickest(as in best) thing I’ve ever read and I’m not gonna lie I was kinda expecting a terrible turn at the end.

Would love to see some pictures this starling, or videos. It’s on my bucket list to make friends with a bird, particularly crows, and you literally had that. Not only that, the dude loved road trips… like what.

Sorry about his mum though.

dependencyinjection OP ,

I can’t cope. I’m sooo jealous right now. Look how fluffy he is.

One day I too hope to take a walk with a bird on my head as it shouts at people.

I will look forward to a video of the little fella. It’s evening here now so I’m going to be offline for 8-10 hours.

dependencyinjection OP ,

I really appreciate people who will own up to the breaks we’ve been given or the luck we have had along the way.

I see far too many people believe that nobody else plays a role in their success, which enables them to look down on others as through they’re inferior.

Forgiveness is key to life I think, the old adage of forgive but don’t forget, as if we hold on to grudges or preconceptions of people then we only really hurt ourselves. A lot can be said for humility imo.

dependencyinjection OP ,

I find we can have the best conversations with the people we differ from the most, those are the people that have different perspectives that we can learn from.

Ecstasy was the drug for me back in the day and that shit will have you unloading everything, even stuff you wouldn’t tell your therapist. Until it wears off and you’re instantly like uhh I don’t want to talk to anybody anymore. Haha

dependencyinjection OP ,

Thanks for sharing.

I can’t quite believe how chill he is with that dog stood there salivating.

dependencyinjection OP ,

I am sorry you had to find out about your dads secret life, I can’t imagine what that felt like.

As for the Putin thing. I have so many questions.

dependencyinjection OP ,

That does sound very interesting.

I’ve always wanted to try DMT but it doesn’t seem to be a thing we can get here in the UK.

dependencyinjection OP ,

Very interesting. Off I go…

dependencyinjection OP ,

That’s scary as hell, but also looks quite rewarding.

I’ve often been curious about climbing as a fitness endeavour but I fear it’s too late now and I’m weak haha.

dependencyinjection OP ,

That really is insane. Do you know what happened to the manager committing the fraud?

dependencyinjection OP ,

Although I don’t know the details of what entailed on the night, I do believe that people should forgive but don’t forget as holding on to things like that isn’t good for you and this applies to forgiving yourself, but not forgetting so that you don’t make the same mistake again.

dependencyinjection OP ,

Turns out you can literally find very detailed guides online for making this stuff and with not too crazy equipment.

dependencyinjection OP ,

Hey, small world. Hope you answer the other commenters request.

dependencyinjection OP ,

Be the change you want to see…

dependencyinjection ,

A true software developer will also raise their hands in celebration when they finally solve a problem that’s been plaguing them.

Even if you’re working from home, alone.

dependencyinjection ,

Granddads standing up, I’ve heard it all. /s

dependencyinjection ,

Mixed in with periods of

https://discuss.tchncs.de/pictrs/image/a43dc7c5-1786-471b-a0b8-981a069b88f3.gif

dependencyinjection ,

Teeth. Many years of poor dental hygiene.

dependencyinjection ,

I could list a few.

  • Christmas when I was about 10 I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. Thanks nana. The man who raised is my dad to me still.
  • Leading on from the last one. Later in life my biological father got in touch and giving it all the life complicated spiel. I was indifferent but figured sure I’ll meet. Turns out he was back with my mum and now I’m back at home and he ain’t ever act like a dad, and now he doesn’t see if other daughters since he got back with my mum. Dudes a joke.
  • as you might have noticed I’ve had a tumultuous childhood. Mum spent my formative years flipping between my non-bio dad and the man who I have a half brother with, who I ain’t seen in 30 years. So I spent the time sat in the back of a car whilst she called men to her friend or went in pubs to pour pints on their head.
  • one time we came home and saw burglars robbing our flat. Probably something to do with my half brothers dad.
  • one time as a young adult, the man that raised me was out getting drunk in his mates house. My mum made me break the door down and she went in all guns blazing grabbing a golf club and going ham.
  • Fell in a canal at night off my box on Xanax and thought I might die. Threw out my stashed and literally nearly died from withdrawals.
  • surprising not been assaulted many times cause I used to be a righteous mouthy cunt when drunk, i don’t drink at all as I saw how it broke my dad, well my mum did but alcohol didn’t help.
  • watched as my mum and dad had a loveless marriage and at the start he used to hit her, then later she bullied his ass for decades. Like take his wages and refuse him money for cigs.
  • on way to school vacation and got told my dad was going prison for driving drunk whilst banned.
  • saw my tea dumped on her head.
  • it’s all coming back now. One time my dad tried to drive the car into our house but it got stuck in the bushes.

That’s just a few, but yeah it’s no wonder I’m fucked, not an excuse as I’ve made progress and got a good job now. Not sure I’m happy but I’ve just shut off the stuff I grew up around as what else can I don

dependencyinjection ,

Get out.

dependencyinjection ,

I like a Calzone.

dependencyinjection ,

Brother you’re a menace, but I’m curious about how that tastes.

If we going for vile things, I once had ketchup on ice cream in college cause I was that guy that would do anything for a reaction.

dependencyinjection ,

Yeah it was vile, it made me gag.

I could get behind yours without the tomato sauce and regular cheese, MAYBE.

dependencyinjection , (edited )

So say I buy The Matrix on DVD. I can watch it whenever I like..

If I stop paying for Netflix, then I can’t watch it anymore so I have to keep signing up again. What about when the matrix isn’t on a Netflix, I then have to go sign up for Apple TV.

Isn’t capitalism supposed to weed out the companies without a viable business? If you can’t keep improving your product or you’ve got saturation with users then that’s your ceiling. Down like it, close down.

Kinda weird take from you to be honest. Like why won’t we think about the poor struggling corporations. Perhaps they would be in a better position if they didn’t go so long with losses trying to capture the market with a view to rinse us all later down the line.

I have exactly one monthly subscription and that’s for AppleCare+ on my phone. Fuck death my a thousand paper cuts.

dependencyinjection ,

I literally told you a benefit. Way to ignore that part.

dependencyinjection , (edited )

Ngl I’m a little confused right now as it seems your comment was edited from what it initially said, but I’d don’t have a clue.

Edit: To be clear I am on the side of massive tech companies not being encouraged to use massive amounts of investor funding to corner a market and then work to fleece their customers as much as humanely possible. This level of laissez faire capitalism is horrendous and only cares about the companies and not that users get a decent product in exchange for their money.

dependencyinjection , (edited )

Why?

I kinda like how I often quickly run out of new interesting posts to comment on, but there is enough that I can have engaging conversations.

The more people that come the more it gets watered down. Not that I am gatekeeping, people can do as they like. Just I am happy right now.

Edit: Curious about the downvotes. Considering I explicitly said I’m not trying to gate keep and people can do as they please.

dependencyinjection ,

I just subbed to all three of those.

I find half the battle here is finding new places to sub to. I’ll browse all but always forget to sub to new ones I see.

I think for sports, it’s difficult as it seems most of us early adopters here are, well let’s say nerdier than the average, and as a rule tend to follow sport less.

Even me, I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch sport, aside from the olympics. But as an introvert that had a shitty home life I learnt quickly how to be a fake extrovert and thus had a lot of friends and so got surrounded by sport and stuff.

dependencyinjection ,

Is it super-intelligence or just the natural desire to just consume stuff about a topic?

I don’t have Autism, but I do have ADHD and I am just gifted with an innate curiosity to learn new things which can seem like I’m intelligent, but honestly I have no control over it. I could spend a week learning about how the brain works and it will be all consuming, then all of a sudden I have zero interest in it.

This means I have a rudimentary understanding of so many topics, but rarely will I master any one of them.

dependencyinjection ,

I don’t know if this fits, but the small company I work for as a software developer used CoPilot in Visual Studio Pro and it’s incredible.

Like sure it’s not doing my job for me, but it saves so much time. Plus it will pick up our coding standards and is great for repetitive code blocks and just rubber ducking.

dependencyinjection ,

1-2 hours a day.

Reddit was a lot more so I take that as a win, plus you can engage more here without getting your comments buried.

dependencyinjection ,

No but I’ve always been curious but never found an app for iOS and I just can’t be bothered using the browser for sites I would use a lot.

dependencyinjection ,

Today I learned it’s anti-Semitic to hope for a free Palestine.

dependencyinjection ,

Im going to need some examples here fam cause im not entirely sure what you’re actually talking about specifically.

dependencyinjection ,

Dude you’re pulling up voting records from a decade ago and one in the 1970’’s. Sure it’s wild, but how about this executive order From two years ago

Way to cherry pick your sources, ignoring the one that supersedes the others ones.

To be clear Biden is a cunt, but even a cunt appears to have grown over time.

You guys love your constitution so much but forget it was written by racist slave owning bigots.

You’ve actually helped to prove my point that things now are better for us in the LGBTQ+ community than it ever has been, had you had Trump in office right now you think it would be better. The Republicans don’t even agree with women having control over their reproductive rights for fucks same.

Democrats are shit, republicans are worse. That’s your choice. Pick one. If you can’t then don’t blame me that you have a two party system.

Netanyahu and Putin are both waiting for Trump ( www.washingtonpost.com )

Netanyahu reportedly met this month with three foreign policy envoys working with former president and current presidential candidate Donald Trump — who could yet win the election despite being convicted Thursday on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records in his New York state hush money case....

dependencyinjection ,

Their neighbours don’t hate them for being Jewish, they hate them for stealing their homes, routinely bombing them and other apartheid actions.

Many Jewish people will stand up against Israel for Palestine. Jewish Voices for Labour is such one group in the UK.

Norman Finkelstein is arguably the most educated person on the issue and also Jewish.

People don’t hate Jews, they hate terrorists, of which many are Israeli.

dependencyinjection ,

Again. People don’t hate them for being Jewish. They hate them for their actions.

dependencyinjection ,

Im yet to see any evidence that the whole of the Middle East hates Jews.

The same in that not all Israelis hate Palestinians, after all there are quite large protests in Israel in solidarity with Palestine.

dependencyinjection ,

The expulsion of Jewish people in the past?

What about the expulsion of Palestinian people over the last several decades to this very day?

Israel is actively engaging in war crimes right now. There isn’t a case for it. It’s online for the whole world to see.

Lebanon are fighting the good fight right now.

How do you war crimes? How come when an Islamic country defends itself it’s not allowed but for western countries, sure that’s different. Iraq, Afghanistan, Loas, Vietnam, the list if endless.

Why are leading Jewish scholars against Zionism, why are they against the actions of the Israeli state. Why is Ireland, and many other counties starting to turn on Israel. It’s because they are the bad guys.

As for any terrorism. If you come and wipe out my whole family for no reason, then I’m going to come and try to murder you too. Fuck anybody that will still 8 months later try and defend Israel. Fuck the US, fuck my own (UK) government and fuck you for supporting the murdering of innocent people at an unprecedented level.

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