Supreme Court rules Trump can and probably should shoot someone on 5th Avenue ( www.thebeaverton.com )
Boeing Expresses Condolences in Advance of Second Whistleblower's Suicide ( hard-drive.net )
This incredible millennial bought their first home just by making a packed lunch every day for a year and buying a winning lottery ticket ( newsthump.com )
U.S. Warns A Gaza Ceasefire Would Only Benefit Humanity ( www.theonion.com )
WASHINGTON—Explaining why the United States would not call on Israel to end its continuous airstrikes on Palestinian civilians, the White House warned Wednesday that a ceasefire in Gaza would only serve to benefit humanity. “We know there are voices across the world calling for a ceasefire, but what everyone needs to...
Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying ( www.theonion.com )
‘I Don't Believe Deepfakes Should Be Regulated,' Says Man Who Is the Reason Deepfakes Should Be Regulated ( reductress.com )
Senate Passes Emergency Border Funding To Prevent Female Leadership From Spreading To U.S. ( www.theonion.com )
Cop Beating the Crap Out of College Student Looking Forward to Two Weeks Paid Vacation ( thehardtimes.net )
New York - Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a peaceful protester at Columbia University...
Bully Suspended for Verbally Harassing Peers Argues He Was Just Pushing Boundaries With His Comedy ( reductress.com )
Fictional alien time travellers can’t be black, insist morons ( newsthump.com )
New Law Requires SNAP Recipients To Balance Food On Nose Until Receiving Command To Eat It ( www.theonion.com )
read more: https://www.theonion.com/new-law-requires-snap-recipients-to-balance-food-on-nos-1851278899
Christian Man Persecuted Simply For Driving 90 Miles Per Hour In School Zone ( www.theonion.com )
Eric Trump Only Potential Juror Uninformed Enough To Serve At Father’s Trial ( www.theonion.com )
Game Freak Lays Off 300 Pokemon ( hard-drive.net )
read more: https://hard-drive.net/hd/video-games/game-freak-lays-off-300-pokemon/
Biden Bounces Back In Polls As Americans Notice Netflix Added A Few Good Shows Recently ( www.theonion.com )
Israel Accuses Al Jazeera Of Being Mouthpiece For Journalism ( www.theonion.com )
Trump Frantically Digging Holes Around Mar-A-Lago In Hopes Of Striking $454 Million In Oil ( www.theonion.com )
First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk ( www.theonion.com )
Alabama Supreme Court Rules That Frozen Burritos Are Children ( www.theonion.com )
Jimmy Carter Becomes Second President Convicted Of Felony For Sticking Up Waffle House ( www.theonion.com )
Aw Crap: I Thought I Said Something Normal but My Therapist Responded “Let’s Unpack That” ( thehardtimes.net )
read more: https://thehardtimes.net/blog/aw-crap-i-thought-i-said-something-normal-but-my-therapist-responded-lets-unpack-that/
TikTok saves itself from US ban by launching a range of semi-automatic assault rifles ( newsthump.com )
Texas to Celebrate 25th Anniversary of “The Green Mile” by Executing 25 Innocent People ( thehardtimes.net )
Gamer Simply Wants Non-Political Games, White Ethnostate ( hard-drive.net )
Nation Once Again Agrees That Easter Candy Made of Exact Same Ingredients as Regular Candy Tastes Better Due to Shape ( thehardtimes.net )
