WittyProfileName2

WittyProfileName2 , 13 days ago

!!Warning!! Extreme cringe

"I hope this post gets a lot of tankie comments. They’ll be flockin’ to a blockin’

Heh. See, cause. It rhymes. So.

The one yesterday had that commenter who was all “what’s this? Oh it took me a second cause I blocked all the tankies” and that’s when I realized I forgot to block lemmy.ml. Now that that’s done, it’s just onsie-twosies. It’s a bright, bright sunshiney day."

Adults in the room, everyone.

WittyProfileName2 , 19 days ago

There was this bloke who used to sit at the train station close to the uni I was attending at the time, he'd drink cans of alcohol and do a little trainspotting. We talked a couple of times and he gave me some advice that helped me get out of my shell and talk to people a lot more. I must've only chatted with him, like, once or twice but I think it made all the difference in pushing me into making friends in what would otherwise've been a very lonely and isolated part of my life.

WittyProfileName2 , 21 days ago

NO

Tankie has been shifting way beyond its original meaning to just be a vague leftward stab, but being an anarchist and everything I don't think it applies to me just yet

WittyProfileName2 , 22 days ago

That's a brave person right there, to stand in front of all those tanks.

What happened next? I bet it was something terrible.

WittyProfileName2 , 19 days ago

Not sure if I'd class it as the craziest moment of my life, but it was like a scene out of a sitcom:

When I was a teenager I briefly worked part-time at a place that refurbished various household appliances. Donations came in through the front and ended up in back with very little looking over. We took all sorts in and the workshop floor was split into various departments based on what appliances they dealt with. I was a new hire and they were still cycling me 'round various departments, my least favourite one was when I was assigned to cleaning out used ovens.

One day this box came in and, like, we opened it up and there were various electronic massaging gizmos. So, my supervisor is pulling 'em out, he passes some of 'em to me to give a lookover to make sure they're clean and do, like, PAT tests and stuff.

I'm plodding along and he gets to work on the rest himself. I'm doing the tests on this thing that's like a plastic plate with this piece on the top vaguely shaped like a pair of cupped hands, when my supervisor calls me over to lend a hand. He's got this black tube that goes a bit wider on one end, about as thick as my wrist. It looked kinda like a torch but with a cap screwed over the bit the light's in.

His hands are a bit slippy so he's having a hard time unscrewing the cap, so he asked me to have a go. Wider end pointed away from me, I wrapped my hand around the cap and gave it a good twist. The first clue I had that something was amiss was that my supervisor went bright red. I asked him what's wrong and just told me to see for myself, so I turn the thing in my hand and see this silicone orifice looking back at me.

That was how I learnt what a fleshlight is.

WittyProfileName2 , 1 month ago

When I was still in the closet, I grew and maintained a big beard as part of my attempts at performative masculinity.

Not saying that this is what's happening with most men who're growing 'em out, but sometimes I see a bloke with a well maintained set of facial hair looking absolutely miserable and my egg radar starts shrieking.

WittyProfileName2 , 1 month ago

I can suggest an equation that has the potential to impact the future:

Acetyl-CoA + 3H2O + 3NAD^+^ + FAD + ADP + Pi → 2CO2 + 3NADH + 3H^+^ + FADH2 + CoA-SH + ATP + H2O + AI

This combines the Krebs Cycle which relates to glucose metabolism with the addition of artificial intelligence (AI). By including AI in the equation, it symbolises my ability to wank myself to completion without touching my cock, simply by massaging my engorged ego.

WittyProfileName2 , 2 months ago

IDK, there's a long history of homoeroticism in islamic art (largely poetry, here's a write-up about that), it doesn't seem entirely implausible that this could be some of that.

WittyProfileName2 , 3 months ago

link to original source.

WittyProfileName2 , 3 months ago

Careful not to burn yourself at that BBQ 'cos you'll have to go into debt to afford a sticking plaster. That is if any gathering of Americans larger than two doesn't just immediately devolve into a mass shooting again. Maybe you'll see a weather balloon and have to hide indoors from the Chinese.

WittyProfileName2 , 3 months ago

About 5,000 years ago neolithic farmers committed an act of mass deforestation in the British Isles the likes of which this damned island has never recovered from.

As the ages passed, all each successive generation has done is further damage the ecosystem, and its biodiversity.

I'd try to undo some of that damage. By reforresting from shore to shit stained shore. Let new woods swallow the follies of the petty tyrants who turned rolling hills and green meadows to fetid slag heaps.

WittyProfileName2 , 4 months ago

https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/409aab97-5c7b-4052-b4ee-9242d1bf099b.png

data-laughing

Also, recently it seems almightysnoo has got into the weeds defending bombing hospitals.

https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/78bf810a-60f4-4cd9-b177-53d39296e9a3.png