Everytime I stand in front of the door and frantically search for the keys in my bag, all that #anxiety makes me panic, pushes me to the verge of tears - even though it is not such a big deal because I’m not in a hurry and if anything, the concierge has a spare pair.
So, naturally, my #autistic brain tries to compensate for a possible #ADHD fail - and every time I walk home, I feel almost unbeatable urge to get my keys out of my bag to my hand when I am still like 200 meters from home.
I suppose, it’s the same overcompensation mechanism that makes me come to airport at least two hours before the departure and to a train station at least an hour before, buy spares of essentials each time a bottle starts feeling not full, or always have a stocked pantry(though there may be multiple of ones and none of others as I always forget to check what I have before going to the store)
Is this exaggerated(to the point of creating problems) ‘better safe than sorry’ something #AuDHD people are more prone to? Do you guys also do that? @actuallyautistic
I got my diagnosis today! I am indeed autistic and have ADHD (therefore AuDHD). I was waiting for these result for a half a year and I'm happy that it got confirmed. Now I can start to make bigger steps to the better future for myself. ❤️ #ActuallyAutistic#Autistic#AuDHD#ADHD
Psychology loves to talk about #autistic traits as deficits, instead of adaptations to an environment that no longer exists in our NT-centric society. One of those deficits they name "delayed processing". That's when it takes us a while to process sensory or cognitive input before we can understand what it means or know how to react to it.
How could delayed processing not be a deficit? Well, let me tell you about computer databases. A database is a big pile of information, organized for efficient access. But even if it's very well organized, when the databse gets big, it gets slow to access the information you want. It's like trying to find a particular book in a vast library - it can take a while to find the shelf it's on, then find where the volume is on that shelf.
So there's a trick to make finding things in a database faster. Just like a library has a card catalog that makes it faster to locate your book, databases use indexes to locate information efficiently. If you know the name of the record you want, you can find where that record is by name quickly - as long as there is a name index.
But putting the right info in an index to make searching faster isn't free. It takes some work, because you're essentially doing the search work in advance, then remembering it as a shortcut for later. Programmers describe this trade-off as "slow writes, fast reads".
And the flip side is "fast writes, slow reads". Sometimes you care more about inserting info quickly, and finding it quickly is not that important. Think about a step counter - you add steps all the time so you want that to be fast and easy, but you only look at the count now and then, so it's not bad if it takes a moment because it doesn't happen often.
Back to autism. So we have this delayed processing. We're also notorious for being able to see connections others cannot, and to recall specific information in great detail nearly instantaneously. This feels like a "slow write, fast read" situation to me. Which makes me think, maybe this delayed processing is something like an indexing phase. Maybe we're doing more work up front to build all those associations and connections, to integrate new information deeply into our web of knowledge. It's not that we're slow to do the same thing allistics do. It's that they are skipping the expensive indexing our brains do, so they can have those fast writes. But where they miss out is the fast reads, and all the deep connections.
(As a tangent: I wonder how this relates to autistic sleep issues. Brains do a lot of work while we sleep to integrate new information into long-term memory. Does our extra indexing work affect our sleep cycles?)
The more I learn about neurodiversity, the more I see autism as a healthy adaptation to a world we no longer get to live in. I've never seen that world, but I miss it deeply.
Tweet shared to the FB group Feral Neurodivergent Raging Meme Posting and now here with you. I’ve been down and this was the first thing that made me laugh today. I hope it makes you laugh too. #actuallyautistic#autism#autistic
About 80% of being late-diagnosed #neurodivergent (#ADHD, #autistic, or #Audhd) is finding out that we're not horrible fuckups who lack the willpower or moral fortitude to function like the normies. But rather that our brains just run on different firmware and we were never taught how deal with it.
Or, an autistic who isn't afraid and/or shy to share that they are actually autistic?
Or, an autistic person who is active in the autism acceptance “movement” (if we can call it that)?
Or, perhaps, an autistic who were interviewed and disclosed they're autistic?
Maybe you have other considerations or criteria that defines “openly autistic” for you?
NOTE: Being openly autistic is a choice and is not for everyone. I think it is safe to say that we all face discrimination, stereotyping, and prejudice for being actually autistics, thus, most choose not to be open about it.
However, recently, there has been a slow growth in numbers of openly autistics, and like with most things in life, we have different criteria, definitions, and cultural considerations.
Thus, I am curious what you think, personally or maybe your immediate environment or organisation, is an openly autistic person. Or, when do you consider one as openly autistic.
Again, this is not about if an autistic person should be openly autistic or not. ^_^
Being #autistic is feeling like you're best isn't good enough and knowing it's not good enough, while being told by others that your best isn't good enough as they accuse you of pretending your best is good enough.
Being #autistic in this society is drowning and knowing what help you need, but being denied that help when you assert your needs in favor of stigmatizing autistic people by attributing the faults of capitalism to them having a mental illness instead.
since am one of those #ActuallyAutistic people Dx at the tender age of 50 (yes, 50. and yes am older now, shut up), am not acquainted with the american rituals of national days or awareness months involving autism.
An #AskingAutistics question: Do you ever get negatively judged , deemed a doomer or get a general bad reaction when you’re just being honest about something?
Had this with someone the other day and it was a strong visceral reminder of one reason why I used to mask so hard I wouldn’t give my opinion on most stuff. #SocialFilter#autistic
Neurodivergent brains do more (background anxiety, intensity, hyperfocus, overanalysing, pattern-spotting, thoughts never quiet) so neurodivergent brains get more tired.
“The Autism Books by Autistic Authors Project is an (ongoing) attempt to catalogue all books — non-fiction and fiction — written about and related to autism by Autistic authors.”
There are over 1,000 books catalogued! Including mine and other authors I see in my #actuallyautistic feed here on Mastodon.
@bookstodon@bookwyrm
If you read large print or dyslexic font paperback books do you prefer this to be indicated on the cover (say on a banner at the top) to help you identify the accommodation?
I compiled a quick poll based on different perspectives I've read.
➡️ Please consider sharing to help me reach more readers.
@bookstodon many months ago I received feedback that some readers disliked how I labeled my large-font edition of Late Identified #AuDHD workbook. So I could do better, I asked.
The majority that participated reported they wanted the accommodation labeled on their paperback in a visible way.
I’ve heard today that #autistic people don’t form habits, they create routines.
I thought of my ‘useful habits’ - and yeah, right, they are routines.
But then I thought: well, what’s the difference then? What is a habit if NOT a routine?
Can anyone help me with examples of what may be a habit, but not a routine?
Yes, yes, it's an MM romance, but please, bear with me.
This book destroyed me. It's so beautiful and so full of heartache. The only thing that kept me going was the promise of a Happy Ever After. (And yes, they got it, and it was just as beautiful as the rest.)
But what you really need to know is that one of the MCs is autistic. And his PoV so resonated with me that I have to share this.
:sharesloved: goal $670/1000
Help our weird #disabled#trans#autistic family! It's our kids' birthdays next month and we'd love to be able to keep the lights on!
:sharesloved: (45% of 600USD goal)
We are a small #disabled#trans#autistic mostly #Native poor af family, doing our best to survive by maknig cool stuff! And you can help by supporting us!
:sharesloved: (44% of 700USD goal)
We are a small #disabled#trans#autistic mostly #Native poor af family, doing our best to survive maknig cool stuff! And you can help by supporting us!