Boeing Lays Off Only Guy Who Knows How To Keep Wings On Plane ( www.theonion.com )
An oldie, but a goodie - in honor of the news with that Max model losing its Window at high altitudes....
New Chappelle special searing hourlong takedown of trans cashier who forgot to smile at him ( www.thebeaverton.com )
Honoring National Insurrection Day: ‘The Onion’ Looks Back On Jan. 6 ( www.theonion.com )
Woman Only Feeds Her Cat Three Times a Day Because She Is Mean ( reductress.com )
link: https://reductress.com/post/woman-only-feeds-her-cat-three-times-a-day-because-she-is-mean/
Child Unreasonably Confident He’d Make A Good Horse ( www.theonion.com )
Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation ( www.mcsweeneys.net )
Author Tina Caputo…hell, the entire staff of McSweeney's owe me what I spent on dry cleaning and sofa cushion replacement from pissing my pants laughing!
Royal family condemns Meghan Markle’s failure to stop Prince Andrew visiting Epstein’s island ( chaser.com.au )
King Charles has spoken out following the release of court documents that confirmed Prince Andrew went to sex-trafficker Jeffery Epstein’s private island, with the King strongly condemning Meghan Markle for not stopping Prince Andrew from visiting the island....
Potholes In Nice Part Of Town Filled With Italian Marble ( www.theonion.com )
link: https://www.theonion.com/potholes-in-nice-part-of-town-filled-with-italian-marbl-1851115849
Why I Stopped Exfoliating My Feet and Started Hardening Them Into Weapons ( reductress.com )
link: https://reductress.com/post/why-i-stopped-exfoliating-my-feet-and-started-hardening-them-into-weapons/
Max’s New Triple-Platinum Plan Allows Customers To Permanently Delete Movie Or TV Series ( www.theonion.com )
Dad Accidentally Opens Up Gates Of Hell After Attempting To Fix Sink Himself ( www.theonion.com )
Disney Makes LeFou Available For Public Use Decades Before Copyright Expires ( www.theonion.com )
Hundreds of Indie Filmmakers Rush to Create the First 4/10 Steamboat Willie Horror Movie ( hard-drive.net )
Person Trying to Get Into Kink Forced to Memorize Three Pages of Acronyms ( thehardtimes.net )
IDF Soldier Recounts Harrowing, Heroic War Story Of Killing 8-Month-Old Child ( www.theonion.com )
Report: Here’s Sam Bankman-Fried’s Stupid Little Face Again ( www.theonion.com )
‘New York Times’ Invents Entirely New Numerical System To Avoid Reporting Gazan Death Toll ( www.theonion.com )
Scientists Train Full-Grown Man To Ask For Help When Needed ( www.theonion.com )
Scientists Train Full-Grown Man To Ask For Help When Needed ( www.theonion.com )
New Monthly Subscription Box Sends Customers 10 Things From Founder’s House He Doesn’t Want Anymore ( www.theonion.com )
From 2012 - Trump Announces He's A Very Sad Man ( www.theonion.com )
Late-Rising Hotel Guest Comes To Terms With Remnants Of Free Breakfast ( www.theonion.com )
6 Effective Ways To Remain Anemic When It’s Your Only Personality Trait ( thehardtimes.net )
Do you have cold hands and really want everyone to know about it? Have you ever looked at sand and thought, ‘Mmm, I want that in my mouth’? Well, you’re in luck! We’ve compiled a list of 6 science-backed tips to stay anemic in case eating ice and getting dizzy are the most interesting things about you....
We Visited a Fortune Teller to Find Out the Release Date of Hollow Knight Silksong but All We Learned Was the Date of Our Deaths ( hard-drive.net )
Ever since Team Cherry announced Metroidvania Hollow Knight would receive a sequel, called Hollow Knight: Silksong, gamers have been waiting with bated breath, eagerly devouring any updates regarding the game’s potential release date. Now, six long years have passed since the initial release of Hollow Knight with no such date...
Studio Salvages Terrible Film’s Box Office Numbers By Marketing It As Movie Liberals Don’t Want You To See ( www.theonion.com )
