Taylor Swift Begins Day By Playing Video Reminding Travis Kelce Who She Is, How Long They’ve Dated ( www.theonion.com )
Women Explain Why They Became Tradwives ( www.theonion.com )
“No sense in letting my 40 identical gingham blouses go to waste.”
Nintendo Honors Game Preservation Efforts by Enshrining Names of All Who Attempt It in Lawsuit ( hard-drive.net )
Heartwarming: Republican Donors Raised $300 Million to Help This Man Satisfy His Humiliation Kink ( thehardtimes.net )
Megachurch Conducts Successful Nuclear Missile Test ( www.theonion.com )
New Florida Law Requires All Women To Produce 3 Healthy White Sons By 22nd Birthday ( www.theonion.com )
$1200 Graphics Card Opens Two Extra Google Chrome Tabs ( hard-drive.net )
Libertarian Who Says We Should Rely Less on Government Is Strangely Reliant on Government ( theshovel.com.au )
Alberta to opt out of pharmacare, renewable energy, the wheel ( www.thebeaverton.com )
Russian autopsy shows Navalny locked self in Siberian gulag, poisoned self ( www.thebeaverton.com )
"MOSCOW – Officials from the Kremlin, under the close supervision of Russian President Vladimir Putin, have concluded an autopsy of Alexei Navalny, concluding that the recently-deceased opposition leader spontaneously sentenced himself to 30 years in a remote Siberian gulag before then ingesting his own poison that he brought...
‘It's Important to Celebrate Your Accomplishments,' Says Woman Looking for Any Excuse to Buy a Cheesecake ( reductress.com )
‘Sorry I’m Late—These Protesters Were A Nightmare,’ Says Blood-Splattered, Riot-Gear-Clad Biden Entering Press Conference ( www.theonion.com )
https://i.kinja-img.com/image/upload/c_fit,q_60,w_645/56cdb24cb229a07314fe8fe0333c4c14.jpg
American 18-year-olds stoked to vote in last presidential election ( www.thebeaverton.com )
FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their lifetimes....
‘You can’t say anything these days’ insists man saying exactly what he thinks, every single day ( newsthump.com )
Aw Crap: I Thought I Said Something Normal but My Therapist Responded “Let’s Unpack That” ( thehardtimes.net )
read more: https://thehardtimes.net/blog/aw-crap-i-thought-i-said-something-normal-but-my-therapist-responded-lets-unpack-that/
Dad Loses Patience After Providing Several Seconds Of Emotional Support ( www.theonion.com )
Alabama Supreme Court Set to Decide Constitutionality of Pulling Out ( thehardtimes.net )
Reform voters ‘no understand why Nigel no live in big London house’ ( newsthump.com )
“Me no get it,” explained Reform Voter Derek Williams, with a deeply furrowed brow and finger in his ear....
Hunter Biden withdraws from Presidential race following felony conviction ( newsthump.com )
Joe Biden’s son Hunter has officially withdrawn from the race to become President of the United States following his felony conviction for gun offences....
Trump Brags His Brain Worms Are Still Alive and Very Strong ( thehardtimes.net )
Obsidian Announces a Much Better Fallout Show ( hard-drive.net )
If only...
Coca-Cola Incredibly Hurt Nation Not Going To Try New Flavor They Worked So Hard On ( www.theonion.com )
read more: https://www.theonion.com/coca-cola-incredibly-hurt-nation-not-going-to-try-new-f-1851369418
God Announces Easter Weekend Double XP for all Churchgoers ( hard-drive.net )
Excited about this one. Lent debuff hit me hard this year.
Biden Announces He’s Reheating Chili If Anyone’s Interested ( www.theonion.com )
WASHINGTON—Stating that it was as easy to prepare 330 million helpings as one, President Joe Biden announced Thursday that he was reheating chili if anyone was interested. “I’m going to pop some chili into the microwave in a minute or so if anyone wants some,” said Biden, who raised his eyebrows as he gestured...
Widespread condemnation for attack on hospital after discovery it doesn’t contain any Palestinians ( newsthump.com )
