There is a concept that some of you might find helpful - "subjective units of distress".
Many years ago, I was struggling badly with my life, going through one mental breakdown after another. I asked my psychiatrist: "How can I live my life if my anxiety goes from 0 to 60 in the matter of seconds?". The psychiatrist said: "But Nina, no one, including you, goes from 0 to 60 instantly. It just feels this way."
So, he explained, human brain is silly and usually cannot tell the difference between not being distressed (SUDS 1) and quite distressed (SUDS 7). As long as we keep functioning, our internal brain state and suffering in it seems to be almost invisible for us.
If I am at SUDS 2, and accidentally spill morning coffee on my blouse, it will probably raise my distress to SUDS 4 or 5, but I will change to a new blouse and go to work.
If I am at SUDS 7 after a doctor's call, and spill coffee on myself, I'll go from being calm to a sobbing mess faster than you can say "therapy".