My credentials: fuckable
My opinions: worthless
My time: better spent on chores
My partner came into my office while I was writing about the anti-trans Guardian article and (without reading what I was writing) spent the next roughly 40 minutes telling me I was wrong about everything and that my opinions weren't worth sharing.
Cool. Now I'm behind on my rebuttal to the article, and I feel like shit.
Shortly thereafter, they came back to kinda apologize and invite me to a nice little Italian restaurant for lunch. I, liking caprese sandwiches, stupidly agreed. 💁🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
We had fairly pleasant conversation on the drive, arrived, got seated, and ordered food.
A couple bites in, Mastodon came up. ⚠️💣
Now, my partner has never read anything I've written here, or on Codeberg, but wanted to let me know that I don't have enough expertise in the topics I talk about to share my opinions.
You know, since I only have a 4-year degree in information systems, with a minor in psych and stats, and had only been the head of data/analytics at a couple companies so far. Oh, and I've only been openly queer for several decades with only a year or two of identifying as nonbinary, and maybe 4-5 as a (self) diagnosed autistic person.
Nope, worthless 🙅🏼♀️ my only credentials, according to them, are that "I'm fuckable" 💁🏼♀️ that's why people follow me.
So when psychologists email me about my autism self-diagnosis project to tell me it's spot-on? Pillow talk.
If my project on data pollution gets me invited to an expert panel? They really mean "send nudes".
A big name in infosec says they appreciate my posts? Thank my tits.
When I find new communities—and they welcome me—it's because people want to sleep with me, I'm overly confident, and I have privilege. Not because I have anything worthwhile to add.
After a shitty drive back home, during which I shut down and they continued the conversation, we ended with them crying and letting me know that they were upset that I put more effort into stupid internet stuff than into our home.
Now I've lost several hours of work time, and I'm completely demotivated to do anything, but I really needed to share this because I'm so fucking sadmad about it. Fuck. 😭🤬
/end_rant
I don't really believe most of it, but as someone who struggled with self-esteem issues due to neglect and abuse growing up, and who then tried to fill that empty space with unhealthy physical affection-seeking behaviors, it's kind of a sensitive place to get stabbed.
