gandalf_der_12te ,
@gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org avatar

... not the onion?

Burn_The_Right ,

Goddammit, Jeff. You're gonna make us read this?!

Just. Goddammit.

FunnyUsername ,
@FunnyUsername@lemmy.world avatar

This is how I'm going to go, when the time comes

p5yk0t1km1r4ge ,
@p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world avatar

New fear unlocked

beebarfbadger ,

At least you won't have that particular problem again until you read about somebody who sneezed someone else's intestines out of his body.

CommanderCloon ,

Damn that must have been traumatic. I hope all goes well for him

celeste ,
@celeste@kbin.earth avatar

I remember when a relative still had a feeding tube they were leaving in just in case and he accidently yanked it out. I believe we put paper towels and blue tape over it and he called the doctor. the doctor was like 'oh it's self sealing it's fine' and my relative was all 'doc....please look at it...' so we took him in and he got a proper bandage and told it did in fact look fine.

This poor florida man....

RedIce25 ,

Shat his heart out

Stopthatgirl7 ,
@Stopthatgirl7@lemmy.world avatar

…new fear unlocked.

Siegfried ,

Don't sneeze

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

The headline makes it sound way worse than what happened. Dude is fine, just reopened a surgical wound with some bulging.

drislands ,

The headline sounds like he blew his guts out of his nose.

Etterra ,

That would be hilarious to see. Vomit-inducing and nightmarish, but hilarious.

sevenoverthree ,

Yep that's some title gore... I was trying to figure out how the hell that could even happen...

qarbone ,

See, I pictured out he blew out his poop chute

ArmoredThirteen ,

I just had surgery a few weeks ago that included robot arms going into my tummy. A few days ago I sneezed for the first time since and immediately screamed in pain. Sneezes are weirdly hard on the body it seems

cheese_greater ,

They are nasal orgasms so it checks out

vaultdweller013 ,
@vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works avatar

People have legit broken ribs from sneezing, also at least a few cases of snapping their own spines. I just discombobulate myself evertime I sneeze, getting punched in the face doesnt even do that.

Etterra ,

I've got somewhat oversized lungs - not like a medical condition, just what you could call "leather lungs." So when I sneeze, it's sometimes actually painful. It kinda sucks.

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

That might be the most Florida Man article I have ever seen. Bravo.

HM05_Me ,
@HM05_Me@lemmy.world avatar

“I also propose that we put a warning on all horseradish that clearly states that if you ingest an entire bottle, that you will blow out your sphincter. Also, if anyone knows anyone that recently died with an intact size 3 sphincter, please contact me as I am currently very low on the waiting list for a donor.”

  • Stan Smith
jeffw OP Mod ,

Stan Smith? The tennis guy/sneaker icon?

Apytele , (edited )

I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!

I gotchu.

Bro had prostate cancer at some point and the article says they removed his bladder. The "surgical wound" is likely a permanent ostomy, where the internal ureters (which no no longer have a bladder to drain into) are redirected right out of the abdominal wall (there's usually a bag taped on to catch the urine). I forgot they usually just drain them into the intestines if you still have them, which is why they were involved in this. Anyway, my guy was doing well and they were pretty sure he was healed up, but age and possibly chemo both slow healing and doctors (like the rest of us) aren't perfect. Because he was pretty sure he was healed up, he went to breakfast to celebrate, and happened to sneeze. Sneezing raises pressure in the abdomen, and busted his intestines right out of that almost healed wound. The article correctly refers to this as "wound dehiscence (opening) and evisceration (the bowels protruding)."

In nursing school, they actually teach you specifically what to do about this specific occurrence. First you sit the patient all the way up and honestly leaning forward over their legs a little. This takes pressure off the abdominal skin so it doesn't tear any further than it has. Then you cover the wound in sterile gauze soaked in sterile saline. If you have an abdominal surgery that has dehiscence and evisceration as possible complications, you likely will not have access to sterile gauze or sterile saline on you at all times, especially not if you've gotten far enough into recovery to be going to brekkie, but any reputable surgeon will be happy to provide their own specific instructions as to how to manage the situation until the EMTs arrive, which I encourage you to follow.

jeffw OP Mod ,

Nope, I can’t hear you plugs ears

I’m just a bit too squeamish for the details

Apytele ,

Sounds like the guy is ok :)

FartsWithAnAccent ,
@FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io avatar

new phobia unlocked!

capt_wolf ,
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Always on the lookout for new irrational fears!

muse ,
@muse@fedia.io avatar

"Hahah, oh The Onion, you sure have run out of ideas, this article didn't even have a punchline."

It was then that Muse realized it was in fact, not The Onion.

Default_Defect ,
@Default_Defect@midwest.social avatar

When I didn't see The Onion as the source, it just wouldn't compute for a minute. I did a double-take.

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