Ehh, surviving. It's not bad but I feel like I should be doing better.
The toll of family drama/finances is getting to me and I've found myself spiraling into old habits. I keep reminding myself to not let it get to me. I'm hoping to move out and get an apartment near my university but... Well, of course it's easier said than done.
I know that being a full-time student is like a full-time job, but I'm considering getting two part-time jobs just to save up. But with my two other extracurriculars, keeping up my social life, and sleep— yeah, I'll burn out at this rate.
I just feel like there's so much at stake, in both the short term and long term future, that I can't sacrifice anything. I'm scared of getting something 'wrong,' but I know that no action is the worst action to take right now.
So that's my long explanation as to why I shouldn't be procrastinating and how I'm struggling with procrastination.
I dunno. Any tips on how to change my environment up a bit to keep my focus? Or something to keep me sane. So far the only safe space I have is my own room. ._.
(Driving is not really an option since I'm still practicing.)
Ah, I am planning on baking a tres leches cake though over the weekend. It's something to shake things up.
I have these kinds of thoughts often. but it's not a good way to think about things, as in, at least it's always been damaging to me. you shouldn't invalidate your own feelings. if you're not doing "better," that's okay. you don't have to be perfect just because nothing catastrophic happened. or because you feel like if you pushed yourself harder things would be significantly better.
procrastination is never for no reason, and as you said, you feel like a lot is at stake. you have a lot going on! and unfortunately, no one has instructions that will make the nebulous "don't get it wrong" voice go away. it sucks. I know that feeling, and I empathize.
what's helped me is to sit down, preferably with someone I trust and who respects my emotions, and make a little "plan." not a full one where I have x, y, and z plus an emergency one, but just something that will make me feel like the world isn't going to crash down around me at any moment. for example, I had to sort out with my partner what we would do if amazon rejected a return I made because money is tight. even just knowing the future isn't a mysterious void had helped me.
additionally, my only safe space is also my room where I live. I don't know what your living space looks like, but things that have helped me is buying something small to decorate it and make it feel more like my own, possibly getting a small living plant (I have aloe and haworthia, they're very easy to take care of and it sparks a little joy when I see them growing), or even just tidying up a bit, or moving things around so that they're not in the exact same place. when I feel claustrophobic and confined to my room, I try to go on walks (weather permitting!) to remind myself there is space that is safe outside of the house. listening to music or podcasts helps me too, if that's something you also like. I try for at least twice a week and find myself walking more than expected because it's nice to have that break.
I wish you good luck on the cake! and apologies if none of this helps. I just feel like our situations have some things in common and wanted to reach out with what solutions I have for myself.
The absolute worst customer service I ever had was with AT&T and eventually I just told them to go stuff themselves. I switched carriers to Ting before it was owned by Dish and it was known around the industry for its customer service and it was absolutely fantastic.
Cricut has excellent customer service. In addition, their web site also has one of those chat bots that wants you to explain your problem to the AI, and it worked flawlessly for a fairly complicated problem the one time I needed it. I was pretty surprised.
Back in the Windows 8 era, I bought a little 8" tablet PC from Dell. It was flaky from basically day 1, and after ~2 weeks it bricked entirely.
I go to RMA and they ask "If we refund you $50, would you be willing to keep the unit? How about $75?"
Admittedly, they did give me a refund, but that was so the wrong branch to follow on the chat script, honey. If I'm going to be out over three hundred dollars for a paperweight it better at least be made of something cool like meteorite.
I'm feeling the need to do a social media detox, including Beehaw. Pro-AI techbros are getting me down.
Shockingly, keeping Instagram active. My feed there is nothing but frogs, greyhounds, and art from local artists, and detoxing from stuff that is improving my mood rather than making it worse seems unnecessary.
This is one thing I noticed as well. I only have my Instagram profile to check on others but whenever the algorithm feeds me something it is always cute animals.
it's not honestly a beehaw issue, if that helps! I'm just a very anxious and insecure person in general, and I very rarely have engaged in online spaces. beehaw has been the first place I've felt safe enough to start trying to, after a series of bad discord servers.
y'all have a lovely place here, and I'm happy to be along for it!
The administrators of Beehaw, my self included, are interested in helping people such as your self. We hope to curate a space online where people feel safe. Especially underprivileged and minority individuals. On the 22nd of this month you will be a one year old Beehaw user and we are happy that you are here.
I had a lot of responses to one of my more recent posts asking about linux distros, which was really nice and interesting to see what people said. I'll keep that in mind for future posts, thank you for the reply!
I really don't like killing things, but ants have literally invaded my home, so I've had to do something.
Sprinkled some diatomaceous earth today. Watching a few stragglers just kind of meandering and basically not knowing what the fuck to do while they dehydrate and succumb to death has depressed me a little.
On a basic level, the way it works, it's just cruel. Yeah, they're not "sentient", they're mostly drones, etc., but still. Seeing this lonely ant kind of just... slowly dying and not knowing what to do is a bit heartbreaking.
for video games, I assume? correct me if I'm wrong! if so, I really enjoy seeing people do off the wall stuff myself, even if I'm not terribly good at it anymore. I've been delving into Caves of Qud recently and seeing videos of people doing different builds is really cool.
I like videogame lore theorycrafting like r/TESLore but real life theorycrafting is fun, too. You would see it sometimes on r/DankChristianMemes, r/Stoicism, and lots on r/etymology. r/C_S_T was devoted to it.
welcome aboard :)
Linux communities sometimes tend to be a bit "elitists" but they always try to help so don't be afraid to ask even if you think it is a stupid question, 99% of people had the same problem in the past probably
as an additional question, somewhat related, but is there a new hobby you’ve recently gotten into?
Plants, i do not why but working with plants is very relaxing
thank you for letting me know. reddit was my first exposure to linux communities and I did get that vibe. but people have been nice here (even when I was talking about my "baby's first self hosting" experiences) and I appreciate that the community is usually good about answering questions. as soon as my desktop is back and functioning, I'm going to be installing a dual boot with linux and windows 10.
what kind of plants are you working with? I have a couple of my own, and I've found the planting and gardening community here very friendly too. I currently have lavender (most recent addition), aloe and haworthia.
I have some random succulents and cacti people gifted to us or born from cuttings (aloe and haworthia too) but my favorites are carnivorous plants, they are very strange and particular. Unfortunately here there isn't a real gardening community (especially about carnivorous plants) so I'm trying with online communities, mainly on facebook. Some years ago my parents had lavender and they used to dried it and put it in small paper bags in the wardrobe as perfume, it's very nice
I am also a fan of Linux so that is something I would like to talk about. Also non commercial gamedev I like the old days where people just experimented and made games for fun community gamejams to see what other people made regardless of skill level.
mine is actually something I learned about in therapy. wet a washcloth with cold water, then put ice cubes in it. there are various places you can put it to cool down (inner part of your elbow, neck, lower back, etc.) but the first one I was taught was actually the pulse point under your chin, because it also serves a purpose of calming you down. if you're angry or anxious, it might help, on top of cooling you off.
a second thing that I've done is, before bed, putting my comforter and/or my pillowcase in the freezer. only really works depending on size of the freezer and comforter, though.
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