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everyday_human

@everyday_human@beige.party

Let’s share the experience, and the journey.♾️❤️ (Import from Planet Noob) AuDHD since my memory starts. Just discovered in year 418.53 ppm. Turns out I wasn’t a true alien 👽. Survivor of entry into the friendly strange planet in the year 336.84 ppm

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

catsalad , to random
@catsalad@infosec.exchange avatar

Hot date idea... :ablobcatangel: @alice

Close-up of salad and Pillow-Alice ❤️🩷
Tucking my darling into bed. Say goodnight everyone... (oh wait, you can't) 🤷‍♀️

everyday_human ,
@everyday_human@beige.party avatar

@alice @catsalad 😣😣

everyday_human , to ActuallyAutistic group
@everyday_human@beige.party avatar


Dear Friends Strangers and everyone in between,
I’m sorry this took so long but we had to get approvals from both facilities.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/project-asher

I was once told that if you truly need help you need only ask. So humbly I ask you at least read our ask for help below and at least perhaps help us get the word out.

We will post updates now.

I’m sorry it took so long but this stuff isn’t easy to do and it’s taking all my energy to even attempt this.

Fedi if you can do your thing please. If not for us for Asher. I can check and see if you can donate directly to Cornell or . If you prefer and dm me.
On any account or any questions just ask!
Thank you
Derek Jolene and Barbara.

I’m editing the alt text for pictures now but I have to hit send because we are packing.

Last week Asher our Furbaby had a bowel obstruction. He came to us as a stray who followed us home from a few blocks away.

His conditioned improved at first when the blockage was resolved. However, by early Monday morning, he declined dramatically.

We decided to take him to our vet once he opened that day as we were afraid that the stress from the long journey to the emergency vet might worsen his condition.

Yesterday, we found out he was lucky to be alive and his kidneys are shutting down.

Our vet has him semi stabilized now, and recommended a referral to Cornell veterinary hospital where they have specialists who hope to improve his prognosis. Since he’s only 3 years old, all members involved hope to give him the best shot at life.

Getting him stabilized so far is estimated to be 1000+ and the estimate for Cornell ranges between 1500-4500 conservatively. They are unable to provide a more accurate estimate until he has been evaluated.

I have helped others before to fundraise for their companions fundraising and we try to help with outreach in our community in terms of cat rescue, TNR, and finding affordable care. However, we have never had to ask for help ourselves in this regard.

While it’s difficult for us to ask for help, we realize it was the only way to save him. Although some may view him as just a cat or pet, he is so much more to us. Besides being a housemate, he is also a friend, companion, and teacher. We would give him our kidneys if we could.

That said, I know many are struggling as well. I have boosted and donated, but I never did it expecting anything back. I did it because we both believe we are in this together.

So if you can please send Asher your best vibes. Your best boosts.
My partner and I will keep you updated.

We do have Vet references, estimates, drivers license, etc, this is not a scam.

If you can donate, that would be great. No amount is too little, every penny makes a difference. We appreciate every kind thought or prayer at this point.

Thank you all in advance. We don’t have a lot of time. Whether we meet the goal or not, we will do our best to keep fighting for him.

Thank You,
Derek & Jolene & Barbara

https://www.gofundme.com/f/project-asher

Also if anyone knows of any reasonable places to stay or any air bnbs open anything or anyone in the area have any recommendations thank you.

“We are all in this together”














@academicsunite
@actuallyautistic

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danamcfarland , to bookstodon group
@danamcfarland@mastodon.social avatar

"If bees were scientists, they might marvel at the color we know as red, which they cannot see and which they might call 'ultrayellow.'"

is from An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us by Ed Yong

@bookstodon

everyday_human ,
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@danamcfarland @bookstodon Excellent book. Loved all the perspectives of how you can sense the world . :)🥰

alice , (edited ) to random
@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar

"Hey, totally unrelated, and if this is too personal then please just ignore me, lol. What exactly was your experience like, figuring out that you're nonbinary, and roughly when did that happen?
" —Someone I know on Matrix

I responded in chat, but figured my answers might be of broader interest to people who are enby(or Alice)-curious 😋 So here it goes...

⚠️ CW for some slurs and gender stereotyping ⚠️

The short of it is that a couple years ago my kid expressed to me that they weren't sure if they were their assigned gender. To be supportive, I started learning everything I could about being trans. Eventually, they decided that they were okay with their birth gender (at least for now, and maybe forever), but I realized I wasn't okay with mine.

I've always been :_gaysparkle: queer™ :_gaysparkle:, and I've always sort of skirted gender norms (leaning more heavily one way or another as I grew up), but I was raised in a time (the 80s/90s) and environment (latchkey kid with no [living] LGBT+ family members) where transgender people weren't really "a thing". There were "cross-dressers", and "trannies", and several other slurs, but it all got reduced to a "fetish" or "sickness" at the end.

I didn't feel like I had any sort of (relevant) fetish, and I didn't think I was sick, so it must be "something else".

Basically, I didn't have the vocabulary to express that I was nonbinary, or to know it was even an option not to be my assigned gender.

But don't get me wrong, I've never identified particularly strongly with either extreme of traditional gender presentation. Looking back through the lens of what I know now, there were a lot of things I was dysphoric about (and several that still get to me), but at the time I just thought I was weird or that everyone else felt the same and no one mentioned it.

So I didn't mention it either.

Now that I'm older, better informed, and give even fewer fucks what other people think about how I express myself, it's surprising to me that it took so long to figure things out.

So unlike some trans people who strongly associated with their non-assigned gender from an early age, and some nonbinary folk who collect genders like Pokémon, I'm the kind of enby who just gives a lot less importance to which gender I take my influences from—as long as I like the aesthetic or it makes me feel more "me", then we're all good.

So I think I'm probably somewhere around a...um, Alice(?) when it comes to my gender expression 🙃

It's still a work in progress, but as it stands now:

  • I hardly wear makeup 💄 (except nail polish 💅🏻)
  • Most of my clothes are marketed as being for women, but are pretty unisex —save for my cute socks and underwear 🧦👙
  • I like pinks and purples...a lot 💜
  • I like having muscle definition 💪🏻
  • I can't stand body hair 🪒
  • I like my tits, but I'm glad they're small 🧁🧁
  • I've had short hair for most of my adult life, but I'm having fun growing it out again like when I was a kid 👩🏻‍🦲👩🏻‍🦰
  • I dislike most sports, except of course for locksport 🔓 and Bloodsport (1998) 🩸

It feels super-awkward listing off all the stereotypically gendered things about me that I can think of. The idea of a color or a haircut being "for boys" or "for girls" just seems weirdly restrictive and arbitrary.

If you made it this far, neat! You get a cookie 🍪

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me anything.

If you have any comments or relevant experiences, please share.

Thanks for reading 💕

everyday_human ,
@everyday_human@beige.party avatar

@alice
Umm somewhat similar.

I never have before publically explained this at least.

Also disclaimer: if I describe anything incorrectly I’m sorry. I’m trying to find the right words.

Deep Breath

Childhood I was so confused why certain things were gendered and why it was important. Ofc there was toxic masculinity not from my parents but from peers.
It really kind of grosses me out.

Also disclaimer: if I describe anything incorrectly or have and language I’m 😢 . I’m trying to find the right words.

Although I try to be kind to most people.

I care less about what people think how I think about own sexuality/Identity/Neurodiversity.

I just see myself as me evolving through time and being the person I want to see in the world.

Plain old Everyday Human.

So first I’ll explain I identify with Non-Binary for several reasons. Since 4 I knew I was different.

1.I have never felt like I belong to the male or female social group.

2.However when I was younger I complied to try to be normal to survive .

  1. I’ve always felt a mix of. Like I was born into the wrong body, but there didn’t seem to be an option to be both or neither, confused.

  2. My past long term relationships all thought I was closeted bi or trans or queer which I wouldn’t rule out.
    It was confusing

  3. I was always Demi so I could never see past the stereotypes and felt so conflicted internally and ironically most of my partners were bi, or lesbian.

I got nicknamed metrosexual and a bunch of other nicknames by my partners.

Looking back I don’t even how I could hash if it wasn’t absolutely true.

I’m hope I’m making sense so if anyone has any questions feel free

  1. So that view of me being Pan/Demi and feeling more mixed I just thought there was something wrong with

I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t interested in other people like my peers, if I was with someone I had really no desire to even think about anyone else in an intimate way.

Meanwhile my peers seemed like they were always checking out whatever they considered eye candy.
With that being said I’ll explain below

  1. So I have several types of attraction:

7.1. Challenging , Creative, inspiring, . Independent, engaging, collaborative.

In this attraction is more like umm omg 😱 hyperfocus on a person I find deeply curious , kind of in the same way I love anyone special to me in my life.

Nothing sexual it’s more like natural chemistry and feeling like they are a kindred soul. Like a member of a similar tribe(In my head)

7.2 Attraction Intimately with my Demi partner is largely, we are still figuring out.
They are traditional polar opposite a who identifies more towards neither but doesn’t follow female stereotypes which they also are NB.

All other relationships are different to us. Unique. I think it’s easier that way.
Well because we all are unique.

So in 2022
So amid the hectic autistic tornado that was ripping apart our understanding of who we were as people.

Late dx. For both of us we really started talking and learning about how we felt.

We started to learn how to communicate better keep in mind we were in burnout together trying to climb out.

Both of us didn’t fully know how it would change us.

Who we would be when and if we came out the other side?

Needless to say before that we both considered ourselves mismatched people and were both confused.

Which is weird because we look regular couple. (Whatever the f*** that is )

So after researching, soul searching realizing how much social funneling had impacted our biases we realized we could be who we always felt before which is Non-Binary.

So that’s cool that’s maybe 2021-2022

Then in Summer of 2023 my partner came out to me as ace. Semi aro. In our partnership.

Wasn’t a total shock

I came out as Demi/Pan.
We had a good cry because we both love each other beyond friends.
We feel connected beyond body.

We consider each other life partners and don’t consider ourselves limited to stereotypes. We set our standards and communicate how our relationship works not others.

We have been together for 9 years.

We both feel a relationship is built around genuine communication.

Always evolving with consent and meeting each others needs in soo many other ways that is far more important then all the traditional stuff.

So in short:

We love each other for the people we are but respect each others feelings and identities and how our total love for each other exceeds all other stereotypes.

We are still figuring it out some of it.

We can be intimate not in traditional ways like we do massages and cuddles 🥰 .

Sometimes more but it’s mostly just us really appreciating each other and looking forward to growing old with each other and experiencing life with like minded people along the way.

To us: love is love. 💜

Sorry it’s so long.
Normally I wouldn’t have thought about it so much but I wanted to represent it as accurately as possible.

I hope someone else finds this useful.
Thanks for reading

Thanks Alice for posting this this as I related to much and so did my partner.

everyday_human ,
@everyday_human@beige.party avatar

@alice

I appreciate you breaching the topic because I think it’s important for people to know and learn together. I think it helps propogate acceptance.. 🙏

I had taken the long walk on all those memories before.
But I hadn’t covered it so in depth from childhood.
🤧
(In my mind crudely perhaps it’s one way how a universe shows its “love”is diversity.)😃
POV

everyday_human , to bookstodon group
@everyday_human@beige.party avatar

Looking for this book by one of my favorite authors… I just saw a book release it seems available but also not available oh my…
Camilla is an author in the UK lol 😆 unfortunately I have been running into annoyances 😆 I’m in the US
@bookstodon
https://www.penguin.com.au/books/breakthrough-9780241545331

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