complete lack of care about my own appearance (recently realized that while becoming a big buff muscley man doesn't appeal at all, becoming a visibly fit woman sounds pretty alright to me)
always been uncomfortable within my own body/skin (too big in the wrong places, too hairy)
a lot of longing for transformation/shape-shifting abilities (Christopher Paolinis Inheritance series goes hard about magic enabling elves to be exactly as their heart desires)
upon learning FtM transitioning was a thing, absolutely confused about why anyone would ever WANT to be male/masculine
started speaking a lot less after my voice literally changed overnight, no periods of cracking voice just immediately deep (it is irredeemably masculine and i hate it)
Edit:
Oh and can't forget
never being comfortable being shirtless, even as a prepubescent child.
And (edit2)
giving up and growing a beard because trying to keep my chin clear of hair is borderline impossible.
That's really funny, I thought the exact same thing when I learned about MTFs existing.
Also, just because your voice is low doesn't mean that it's irredeemably masculine. I am a trans man, and way before my transition I had a voice that was comfortably in a male range. It's not unheard of. My voice would still get read as female on the phone until I worked on my innotation and worked on speaking in a chest voice, then I passed quite well. Point is, you can get read as a woman with a low voice, you just have to alter specific things which is very doable.
The first time I heard the phrase “do I want to be with her or do I want to be her” was a major holy shit moment for me. It made me realize that my relationship with the concept of “attraction” was way more complicated than I thought. At that moment, I had a realization that what I thought was attraction to women is actually a mix of both attraction and envy, and the reason I had always denied my attraction to men is that the idea of being in a mlm relationship made me unbearably dysphoric
That time I was obsessed with/cluelessly envious of Kim Petras for like a week in 2009.
Wishing that I could grow up in a fem cybernetic body the way Motoko did in Ghost in the Shell.
"Boy clothes are so boring, girls are so lucky they get to wear all these cool things"
That weird empty/jealous feeling I got when looking at pretty girls and even artistic renditions of women. One time this feeling was so bad I typed some rant describing this into my friend group's "art" channel in discord. Nobody responded thankfully but I'm sure they had questions.
Never being comfortable with being referred to by my full name but being alright with the shortened version/nickname that is much more gender neutral.
Unexplained platonic attraction to trans women and gnc people (I guess this one's not so much dysphoria as it is just a possible sign)
Hating the idea of my voice deepening, and feeling kinda weird when I got mistaken for my dad over the phone. I think I subconsciously altered my voice over the years because my voice comes out very breathy now despite being somewhat deep. (Could also be social anxiety, still figuring this one out)
Crying Bawling the year I got a gift box of Old Spice cologne and deodorant for Christmas.
Feeling uncomfortable with picking male characters in games that give you the option. Like actual physical and emotional discomfort.
Wearing a hoodie every day all day during middle school and high school even in the California summers.
An inability to refer to myself as a man, and being uncomfortable having to refer to myself as a boy. I would almost always just say guy because it felt less loaded. Even typing this out gave me pause.
Depression beard
That time a friend called me our mutal friend's waifu and our mutual friend played along which gave me (unbeknownst to me at the time) gender euphoria
In the same vein, after I married a good friend in final fantasy xiv, he (jokingly? idk it was a little sus) asked me to call him darling and I leaned into it HARD. I thought this was my bisexual awakening but thinking about it now, knowing I'm trans, I think I just wanted to be seen as a woman in the context of a relationship. (and in general as well obviously) This gives me a lot to think about. Thanks OP.
Probably more I can't think of at the moment.
All of this and I still have doubts and imposter syndrome. Sometimes I want to grab myself by the shoulders and scream.
Back when I was pretending to be a boy, I had just hit 9th grade and moved to a new school. I was always a late bloomer in terms of my first puberty but it hit me like a freight train when it did.
All of a sudden my legs, arms, belly, nipples (weirdly) got hairy and I was terribly self conscious about it. Not that I had an obscene amount of hair, but it really felt like I did. It felt gross and uncomfortable. Never wore shorts or short sleeve shirts because of it. Even in the dead of summer.
After a few months of this curse, I decided enough was enough - stole one of my mom's super cheap bic razors and hacked away at my entire body. Took me a few hours to get every inch. Many cuts and scraped, but I finally felt like I could be a bit more comfortable in my skin.
Felt great about my decision until everyone at school noticed and made fun of me because it was really "weird" and I didn't have a good enough reason for why I did it other than "I felt trapped under all of the hair, I just really don't like it"
Peer pressure took over and I eventually stopped after a few months. A decade later, my egg finally cracked.
Can you guess what the first thing I did was after realizing I am a woman?