In Wacky Mix-Up, IDF Attacks Columbia Univeristy as NYPD Storms Gaza ( www.duffelblog.com )
U.S. Army Recruiter Has Bound, Gagged Civilian That Teen Can Shoot Right Now If He Enlists ( www.theonion.com )
Felony conviction first thing Trump has earned in whole life ( thebeaverton.com )
Samuel Alito: ‘I Tried To Take The Flag Down, But My Wife Hit Me. She Hits Me Every Night’ ( www.theonion.com )
Ticketmaster Hacker Demands $500K Ransom (Plus $300K Ransom Processing Fee, $220K Ransom Handling Fee) ( theshovel.com.au )
Pope Francis Offered Three Netflix Stand-Up Specials Following Use of Gay Slur ( thehardtimes.net )
Google announces plan to shove AI into all its products then eventually remove AI from all its products ( www.thebeaverton.com )
So-Called Trad Wife Wasn’t Even Kidnapped From Village By Rival Viking Clan ( www.theonion.com )
CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years ( www.theonion.com )
It's an older article, sir, but it checks out.
Old Family Recipe Unnecessarily Racist ( thehardtimes.net )
Biden Bounces Back In Polls As Americans Notice Netflix Added A Few Good Shows Recently ( www.theonion.com )
CEO Warns That No Student Involved In Protests Will Ever Be Hired At Genocide Inc. ( www.theonion.com )
Report: School Shootings Either Way Down Or Too Depressing For Media To Cover ( www.theonion.com )
Shedding light on the possible reasons for a dip in such news coverage, a report released Friday found that school shootings were either way down or too depressing for the media to cover. “Really, there are two possibilities here: It could be that there’s been some remarkable progress on getting guns out of the hands of...
Internet Detective Only Destroys Three Innocent Peoples’ Lives Before Never Actually Solving Case ( thehardtimes.net )
Jerky, 7-Fingered Scarlett Johansson Appears In Video To Express Full-Fledged Approval Of OpenAI ( www.theonion.com )
‘It's Important to Celebrate Your Accomplishments,' Says Woman Looking for Any Excuse to Buy a Cheesecake ( reductress.com )
Every Gang From “The Warriors” Ranked by Our Conservative Uncle’s Fear of the City ( thehardtimes.net )
Conservative Owns the Libs by Paying $4,000 a Month for His Ford F-350 ( thehardtimes.net )
Terrifying New Anti-Marijuana PSA Says Overindulgence Could Cause You to End Up Like Bill Maher ( thehardtimes.net )
Trump Quietly Avoids Eye Contact With Rudy Giuliani Begging For Change Outside Courthouse ( www.theonion.com )
Iranian President Stoned To Death With Mountain ( www.theonion.com )
Fictional alien time travellers can’t be black, insist morons ( newsthump.com )
New Florida Law Requires All Women To Produce 3 Healthy White Sons By 22nd Birthday ( www.theonion.com )
What Biden Can Do To Win Over Gen Z ( www.theonion.com )
Woke, Woke, Woke, Snowflake, Cancel Culture, Woke, insists Lee Anderson ( newsthump.com )
