Reform voters ‘no understand why Nigel no live in big London house’ ( newsthump.com )
“Me no get it,” explained Reform Voter Derek Williams, with a deeply furrowed brow and finger in his ear....
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Americans make odd choice to celebrate decision that led them to this point ( www.thebeaverton.com )
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Man who calls women "females" hopes to one day be allowed within 500 meters of one ( chaser.com.au )
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Supreme Court Rules That Trump Has Very, Very Large Hands — The Shovel ( theshovel.com.au )
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Man who posted deliberately offensive thing on social media can’t understand why people are offended ( newsthump.com )
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Report: Requests To Prove One Is Not A Robot Up 400,000% Over Past 500 Years ( www.theonion.com )
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Supreme Court rules Trump can and probably should shoot someone on 5th Avenue ( www.thebeaverton.com )
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Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips ( www.theonion.com )
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Local retiree wants to be US President when he grows up ( chaser.com.au )
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Analysts: Biden Can Negate Debate Performance By Pulling Train With Chain Clenched Between Teeth ( www.theonion.com )
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SpaceX's New "Orbit-to-Ocean" Express Service Unveiled ( isglitch.com )
Trump Boys Break Into CNN Office Attempting To Steal Debate Answers ( www.theonion.com )
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‘Balanced’ journalist pushes politician’s lie to prove they don’t have a ‘pro-fact’ bias ( chaser.com.au )
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Rob Zombie Admits He Only Makes Movies Because He Ran Out of Horror Soundbites To Use In His Music ( thehardtimes.net )
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Supreme Court issues token reasonable ruling ( thebeaverton.com )
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Congenital and Parent-of-Origin Prediction Factors and Risks of Baby Jazziness in Americana Live Births - Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology ( jabde.com )
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Tourist Immediately Breaks 34 Sacred Local Customs While Deboarding Airplane ( www.theonion.com )
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Researchers Train Mice To Choose Between Life-Saving Medications And Other Essentials ( www.theonion.com )
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The Ten Commandments Are Trump’s Favorite of All the Commandments ( www.nytimes.com )
Almost fooled me, but I think it's satire.Link is paywall free but here's an archive link anyway.
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Instagram Apologizes for Bug That Briefly Allowed Users’ Posts to be Viewed by Their Followers ( thehardtimes.net )
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Nobel Prize to Be Awarded to Forum User From 9 Years Ago With Same Niche Problem ( hard-drive.net )
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Wealthy Canadians announce BMW X3 convoy to protest capital gains tax hike ( www.thebeaverton.com )
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Ohio attorney suspended over pooping in a Pringles can has license reinstated ( www.dispatch.com )
Dispatch.com
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Tesla Announces Plan To Add Up-Skirt Cameras On All Vehicles ( www.theonion.com )
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