And I think its more important to not engage in the act of trolling than it is to police language around trolling.
When they engage in the activity of trolling, we need to do so. We can soften our language around it so things 'seem' nicer, but this is just fussing at the edges.
Fundamentally, if we see or identify trolling behavior, people engaging in bad faith; simpering at the edges about who called what is to derail the point that someone is acting in bad faith (even if they aren't aware of it).
We have a moral responsibility to not give charity to those in violation of good faith, and that is far more important than civility. A civil society isn't possible when we fail to uphold the social contract.