For young LGBT+ people in conservative cultures, hiding is still a reality. Only dumbass conservative would be surprised that there are “more” gay people in places where such a thing is not punishable by hospitalization or death
I'm in my early 50's, and knew 2 Vietnam era vets who were gay, but had to pretend to be straight back when being gay could literally get you put in prison. As a matter of fact, one of them was dishonorably discharged from the Marines for being gay, and did go to prison. Both had married women, and had kids.
There's a fairly well-known story that illustrates this that I'll paraphrase here.[1, 2]
A Redditor thought that he was being homophobic towards his gay roommate because he got mad whenever he saw his roommate with other guys. Fast forward a couple of days and after discussing this with several Redditors and his sister he finds out that what he's feeling isn't homophobia, but rather jealousy. Eventually him and his roommate talk it out and they end up in a relationship.
Had this happened a couple decades earlier their story would have likely gone very differently. For starters the gay roommate probably wouldn't have been out about being gay and might have been acting in a more stereotypically "straight" manner to not raise suspicion. Had the straight guy found out that his roommate was gay there would be a higher chance that he was homophobic, and even if he wasn't he'd be far less likely to question his own sexuality after thinking of himself as straight for his entire life. Their story only ended the way it did because they live in a time where homophobia is less prevalent in society.
As societal acceptance increases more people who experience same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria are willing to explore and adopt a non-heterosexual and/or trans identity, and more people are willing to tell that to a pollster as well.
The life expectancy of queer people also appears to be smaller for a variety of reasons, although the gap with cishet people seems to have reduced over time.
Oh, the homophobia is still there. A man recently murdered his Uber driver because he thought the driver was taking him a secret Homosexual Society to indoctrinate him. Schizophrenia may have had something to do with it, but maybe not.
I am 51, bi, and to this day I am not comfortable discussing my sexuality. I don't think young people understand how different things are now when compared to just fifteen years ago.
Yeah, I'm in my 30s and I remember how wildly different it was when I was young. There's still a lot to be done but seeing the general shift toward acceptance is nice (where I am at least).
It’s odd how much things change and how much they stay the same. An interesting, difficult to notice language shift amongst kids is the complete absence of context for some pejorative uses of “gay.” For instance, the catchall rejection “no way, that’s gay” would elicit confusion first and possibly indignation after. However, other pejorative uses of “gay” still exist, for instance conflating homosexuality with femininity, with femininity having a negative connotation. It’s a partial extinction of meaning and I kinda love it.
All of that to say, the future is looking up in select ways and I’m all about those minuscule victories.
I came out when I was 14 - 26 years ago (albeit as bisexual, because I didn't know the right words yet) and I felt safe enough to do it because I knew my parents would be supportive, but in the broader world, what I mostly got was, "you're saying that for attention," and a lot of gross comments from teenage boys, and that was far less awful than what queer boys got, if they were even able to be out. And then Matthew Shepard was killed the next year a couple of hours from where I lived and it was like oh fuck, maybe I'll just stick to boys because it's not as safe as I thought.
I know kids aren't always safe now, either, and no one in the LGBTQ+ community is safe in many parts of the world, but it really is so different already. We just have to make sure they know how much better it is, and how much better it still could be, and don't get complacent, because we could be back to hiding the love(s) of our lives very quickly.
