beefbot ,

It’s possible elderly relative is projecting some negative emotions about their own situation onto cat’s. Or looking at cat & worried about themselves not being able to make it to their own bathroom too. It’s frustrating & empathy with everyone here will get you a long way 🫶

Siegfried ,

Dont do that, please. My 17 years old siamese kiki was taken away from me by renal disease 5 months ago. The last 4 months were terrible. She was blind and barely made it to the box. My mother was the worst at that time and was looking for excuses to put her down. She also refused to have multiple boxes or anything that could have made my cat's life easier. (Sorry, im just venting, but fuck my psycopath mother, freaking loony).

I'm in peace knowing that i and my brothers did everything we could to make kiki feel loved to the last minute.

some_guy ,

Very beautiful.

Wytch ,
@Wytch@lemmy.zip avatar

Just went through this twice in the last year with a 17, and then a 20+ year old kittie, both well-loved companions. Those last months are the hard ones, but they need us more, not less. To cut them off from us in their waning days is to spare ourselves the pain of impending loss, all at the expense of their dignity and comfort.

Gosh if only a person in his position could appreciate the need for compassion towards the elderly.

ParabolicMotion OP ,

The funny part is, she has been desperately trying to sit in his lap when I’m gone, during the day. I think he would miss her if she was out outside.

BarrelAgedBoredom ,

I don't normally wish ill on people and I have a passion for geriatrics but if your relative broke a knee I think they would be better off for it. A hard lesson in compassion, vulnerability and support for the disabled is a long time coming for them. If they can't recognize their sick pet of 15 years crying out for help and support then they deserve to feel exactly like that poor cat. Alone, afraid, and incapable

ParabolicMotion OP ,

He recently hurt his back so badly that I had to help him get in and out of bed at night, and in the morning. When I was pregnant with my son, my foot broke because I fell down a ramp at work. I had to be placed in a boot and given a wheelchair because I couldn’t balance on crutches. I spent the night at his house, after that happened, and their hallway was too narrow for my wheelchair to fit. I asked for help and was told to stop complaining. I had to crawl to the toilet, down the hallway, because no one would help me. He brags about he used to intern at a hospital when he was in college. His job? Helping patients when the doctors placed them in traction with broken legs. I refuse to believe this man is my biological father. I swear he had someone else spit in an ancestry dna tube and just registered the tube to his email account.

FatLegTed ,
@FatLegTed@feddit.uk avatar

Put him outside instead.

ParabolicMotion OP ,

Hahaha!

livus ,

Your relation is being callous.

My tip for elderly incontinence is make a designated area (I use thick plastic like a tablecloth cover to protect the floor) and line it with Puppy Pads/ mats.

Also if you get an oil drip tray from an auto shop you can put kitty litter in it and the cat doesn't have to step over anything to use it.

Carighan ,
@Carighan@lemmy.world avatar

Also if you get an oil drip tray from an auto shop you can put kitty litter in it and the cat doesn’t have to step over anything to use it.

This is what my parents always did. Works perfectly fine, just need to clean it daily or twice daily.

Hyperreality ,

Shoot her in the face then run for vice president.

kikutwo ,

Maybe you should put him outside in a few years when he needs help.

ParabolicMotion OP ,

It is truly a case of the elderly vs. the elderly.

beefbot ,

If your response to this situation is to hiss “harm the human instead”, who clearly is going through something themselves, then you don’t have the empathy required to have a cat in your life.

weariedfae ,

I don't like your relative. Providing comfortable care of elderly and end of life pets is to be expected when you adopt an animal, even if it is difficult.

beefbot ,

The relative is being callous, AND they clearly need some help managing a cat at this point, AND the relative is probably worried about themselves becoming like their poor cat who they probably also love.

What’s so hard about extending your empathy to the person as well as the cat?

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

Poor kitty. Reminds me of my old cat. She made it to 22 years old. She could make it to the litter box, but preferred to go around the litter box. She looked ver much the same shape as yours. Didnt groom herself anymore, so we had to help her out.

FatLegTed ,
@FatLegTed@feddit.uk avatar

😢 Had to do the same with my cat George a few years ago. Need yo open a window now, I think someone is cutting onions in this room.

ParabolicMotion OP ,

It’s sort of the same situation, or at least it was until yesterday. Yesterday she started pooping in the hallways.

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

She pretty much just slept on the bed and we keep a litter box nearby in the same room, so she didn't need to go far. She had joint pain, so I didn't want to make her go all the way to the younger cats litterbox.

ParabolicMotion OP ,

That’s so sweet of you. Way to be a good cat owner!

Enkers ,

Poor girl. Please give her lots of pets, love, and treats for us. It's always tough seeing your companion struggling. <3

Toes ,
@Toes@ani.social avatar

Maybe take her to a groomer and setup puppy mats in common places

ParabolicMotion OP ,

I recently bathed her and clipped her fur, but I’m not a professional. I just worry that if she is under stress by being transported to a groomer, and around strangers, she might have a heart attack.

iltoroargento , (edited )
@iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Your elderly relative is a piece of shit. Put him outside.

Edit: Also, take the cat to a vet and start thinking about end of life care for this sweet kitty and whether you want to lift a finger for your relative once he's in a similar position.

A_Very_Big_Fan ,

and whether you want to lift a finger for your relative once he's in a similar position.

Seconded on all counts, especially this one

beefbot ,

Hoo boy. The number of cat people here chanting HARM THE RELATIVE is … worrisome. Starting to think cat people aren’t the best people.

A_Very_Big_Fan ,

Refusal to help isn't an intent to harm. You get what you give 🤷‍♀️

beefbot ,

Ehh. Granted, your response wasn’t “Put him outside instead” , which was the response of others

But refusal to help when they’re in a similar situation - that’s easily neglect. So please don’t think you came off better than others

A_Very_Big_Fan ,

Morality is subjective, it's just different values ig

Lightfire228 ,

There is value to having the conversation about "holding on for too long". But...

But, "euthanasia vs palliative care" is a conversation that must be between you (the owner) and your vet

It's possible that there are other, addressable reasons for being unable to make it to the litter box, and a vet visit is necessary to identify and address these issues

As well, it's possible that it is indeed "time". A conversation with the vet is best

beefbot ,

Wow and cat people think of ourselves as so much better & more empathetic 🙄

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