Okay maybe I'm mixing up lemmygrad and hexbear in my head a little bit to much, but alone the "we are very nuanced abut realsocialism, what you mean are just insincere memes, don't take them seriously" doesn't fit with the "we always argue in good faith, we are just sometimes not that polite" another hedbear user stated in this thread.
I think for people being tankies you could just dismiss the dumb comments as jokes, as you see quite few of them. When being actually wholeheartedly of the opinion that Stalins way of running a country is bad for not only minorities but everyone else and also inhumane, you get a lot of hate.
Sure you can say all the hate are jokes, all constructive discussion is for real, but that's making it to easy in my opinion.
The only discussions I head with hexbear people that were productive were the ones where they where on a different instance than their own, and arguing against multiple people, they sometimes made good arguments, but as soon as there where lots of them you would just get buzzwords and name calling along with down voting ton oblivion.
As for the "we are a colorful left scene", I kinda doubt that... Every time even I mentioned people like horkheimer or ardorno or said that the world isn't automatically a paradise as soon as someone gets president who calls himself socialist, I got called liberal and right wing and so on.