oldladyplays

oldladyplays , 17 hours ago to random

I did an education session yesterday, for one of the libraries' staff members. It went really well, and I had a surprise part of the way through.

I was telling the story of my transition, and how I lost everything. Someone put their hand up, and I said "Sure, what's your question?"

He said, "Not a question, so much as a comment. As a trans man, who went to the pharmacy this morning to pick up my T, and did so with no issues, I just want to thank you for making it. For getting through all that and being here, talking to us. Because we need trans elders, and as you know, they're all too rare."

Readers, I almost cried right there. This was so touching.

I don't feel special. I'm just a young trans woman who got old. But I am aware of how many of my peers didn't. On occasion, I feel some survivor guilt about that. I think of that diagram of the WW2 bomber with the hit locations. Wonder why I made it back.

Dunno...just a thing that happened. I think his point about the T was about how normalized it's become, and that in some way he feels I'm partly responsible for that.

oldladyplays , 11 days ago to random

Suffering.

That's how we're defined, as trans people, by our suffering. We get diagnosed with dysphoria, and poof magically we're trans.

Only dysphoria isn't universal in our community, and defining us by it necessarily alienates - others - some of our community.

So I'm calling for WPATH to change the basic standard by which we are diagnosed, from dysphoria to euphoria.

No longer will we ask "Does pretending to be a boy or girl cause you pain?"

We ask instead, "Would you prefer not to pretend, and simply be who you are?"

It's the magic button scenario, brought to life. Would you push the button if it meant you were instantly transformed into a body suiting the gender you desire? Would that make you happy?

If the answer is yes, then you have found a trans and/or nonbinary person. Huzzah! Well done.

Our medical treatments become "Facial Harmonizing Surgery" (not my coinage), or "Body Harmonizing Surgery" for bottom or top surgery.

The medical goal thus becomes the achievement of lasting joy, rather than the relief of (some people's) sadness and rage. It's a more inclusive standard, and it changes the focus on trans people from being poor suffering wretches to being joyful transforming butterflies.

I'm not even kidding about this. There's no reason, no not even the FUBAR US medical system, to do it the way we do now.

We don't need to treat us as an ill people, because we're not. We're just misaligned. Let us become aligned, and we become happy. We don't need fixing - we need releasing.

#TransJoy #TransLife

oldladyplays , 14 days ago to random

When I transitioned, 32 years ago this November, I lost everything. My family disowned me, my friends dropped me like a hot rock, my job fired me, my academic career ended, my landlord kicked me out.

For a lot of years, I thought that would be the narrative of my life.

Now I'm coming to understand that while I was losing, I also gained...I gained a community of people who get me, who love me for who I am.

And after some bits of activist work I've done over the years, they also have an overweening respect for me, which takes a lot of doing to understand and accept.

For the first time in 32 years, I feel like I gained more than I lost that November day.

Y'all are part of that feeling.

Thanks for that.

oldladyplays , 2 months ago to random

Just because I know there are folk out there who need to hear it: not only are Black professionals not more likely to make life-threatening errors than white professionals, the racist headwinds those Black professionals faced to become recognized and credentialed made it so that only the very best got through.

The hardest-working, smartest people got through. Sound like anything we're nominally pursuing?

This is why they say that a Black person has to work twice as hard, be twice as good, as a white person to get similar success. Not only should you not cringe when you see a Black pilot flying your plane, you should salute her for the hard-ass work she did to get into that pilot's seat. She is, by facing the fires of racist hell, circle by circle, going to be among the most qualified pilots you could find.

It is blatantly and self-evidently counter-productive to try to segregate certain jobs, any jobs. By definition, the most qualified person should win, no? That's what our supposed meritocracy means?

Then it's about time we faced reality, and recognized that the systems we've built in majority-white Western nations produce top-quality graduates...from the repressed groups. It's human nature. If the representation is less than in public life, then there are fewer spots being chased by the same number of people. That's going to inflate the grade level needed to get in above that of the best students in majority populations. It's just reality. Math.

This is how deep white supremacy colonizes our minds. We buy into these false, self-serving white supremacist beliefs, like "affirmative action means the unqualified will get through".

We as white people in those countries need to do more to unravel these beliefs when we encounter them. You may not convince the bigot in front of you. But you might just sway the ignorant person listening to both of you.

Be safe, but be bold: challenge racism where you see it. And learn to see it better. I will be.

oldladyplays , 2 months ago to random

Hey, anyone know of a job opportunity for a brilliant nuclear physicist with skills to pay the bills? She's located in the Bay Area of California in the US. Check her account for a recent post on her outline of her skills:

https://chaosfem.tw/@rooster/112283186578656777

Boosts welcome.

@rooster

oldladyplays , 2 months ago to random

A friend of mine with a functioning uterus told me recently she was having an IED put in, to keep her from getting pregnant.

I said I thought that was a little extreme, and that maybe an IUD would be better.

oldladyplays , 2 months ago to random

So, a very rare timeline photo from me. I don't have any actual pre-transition pictures, but the one on the right is from after transition but before HRT, when I was 28. The left picture is two months ago, after 28 years of HRT.

A 28-year-old woman with makeup and short auburn curly hair.

oldladyplays , 2 months ago to random

A cis man's take on Trans Day of Visibility and Easter Sunday being on the same day this year. It won't go where you think it will, based on how he looks and talks. Give him a shot, and see if you still feel that way when he's finished talking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTwb0yTuy1E

And special bonus video: He also offered some dating advice a few years ago that has some relevance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0XX6OxfTNs

oldladyplays , 4 months ago to random

I made a new account to cover my second YouTube channel. It's over at chaosfem.tw: @fullmetalfeminist

Feel free to follow, and boost the account; it's where I'll be announcing videos as they drop. Otherwise, it'll be quiet.

oldladyplays , 4 months ago to random

I am fully infertile.

I want to get that out of the way up front, because it's true. I have no dog in the fight.

But I want to state, unequivocally and clearly, that I stand with those who have the equipment for giving birth on the topic of abortion, and IVF, and any other power grabs the right comes up with to control the bodies of birthing people.

For me, it's an issue we as trans people should be fighting as hard for as we fight for our own direct issues. Bodily autonomy applies. It's the same basic issue motivating both anti-trans and anti-abortion campaigners: control of others' bodies.

When we fight for abortion access, we are indirectly and directly still fighting for trans people. We're fighting for trans masc and AFAB enby people to be given full rights over their own bodies. That's the direct path. We're also fighting for the right for all trans people to control our bodies.

So let's stand beside our uterine neighbours, trans women. We are all in the same fight.

oldladyplays , 5 months ago to random

Well, Google, ya gone and done it.

I just uninstalled Chrome, and installed Firefox. The last two days, YouTube turned to shit on me - won't load videos, is clearly heavily throttled. I switch to Firefox - YouTube works perfectly.

If you've been putting off abandoning Chrome, it's a LOT easier than I expected. Firefox imported my history, my logins/passwords, bookmarks, and so on. Completely painless. Chrome has become thoroughly enshittified. Leave it behind.