@oldladyplays@wargamers.social cover
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

oldladyplays

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social

Cait is a grandmother, activist, translator (🇫🇷 🇩🇪 🇷🇺 > 🇬🇧), writer, artist, musician, gamer, footy fan, and a bit of a flirt (show me yer shoulders, sweetie!). Transition 11/92, HRT 11/94.

Hugs and flirting welcome. I will never lie about your appearance. #ProudToBeTrans

Striving every day to be anti-racist & equity-based. I have a #PrivilegeJar.

PFP by @SummerKnight

🏳️‍⚧️: trans rights are human rights

YouTube: Historical gaming, war gaming, and FM24

#nobridge

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Suffering.

That's how we're defined, as trans people, by our suffering. We get diagnosed with dysphoria, and poof magically we're trans.

Only dysphoria isn't universal in our community, and defining us by it necessarily alienates - others - some of our community.

So I'm calling for WPATH to change the basic standard by which we are diagnosed, from dysphoria to euphoria.

No longer will we ask "Does pretending to be a boy or girl cause you pain?"

We ask instead, "Would you prefer not to pretend, and simply be who you are?"

It's the magic button scenario, brought to life. Would you push the button if it meant you were instantly transformed into a body suiting the gender you desire? Would that make you happy?

If the answer is yes, then you have found a trans and/or nonbinary person. Huzzah! Well done.

Our medical treatments become "Facial Harmonizing Surgery" (not my coinage), or "Body Harmonizing Surgery" for bottom or top surgery.

The medical goal thus becomes the achievement of lasting joy, rather than the relief of (some people's) sadness and rage. It's a more inclusive standard, and it changes the focus on trans people from being poor suffering wretches to being joyful transforming butterflies.

I'm not even kidding about this. There's no reason, no not even the FUBAR US medical system, to do it the way we do now.

We don't need to treat us as an ill people, because we're not. We're just misaligned. Let us become aligned, and we become happy. We don't need fixing - we need releasing.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

When I transitioned, 32 years ago this November, I lost everything. My family disowned me, my friends dropped me like a hot rock, my job fired me, my academic career ended, my landlord kicked me out.

For a lot of years, I thought that would be the narrative of my life.

Now I'm coming to understand that while I was losing, I also gained...I gained a community of people who get me, who love me for who I am.

And after some bits of activist work I've done over the years, they also have an overweening respect for me, which takes a lot of doing to understand and accept.

For the first time in 32 years, I feel like I gained more than I lost that November day.

Y'all are part of that feeling.

Thanks for that.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Just because I know there are folk out there who need to hear it: not only are Black professionals not more likely to make life-threatening errors than white professionals, the racist headwinds those Black professionals faced to become recognized and credentialed made it so that only the very best got through.

The hardest-working, smartest people got through. Sound like anything we're nominally pursuing?

This is why they say that a Black person has to work twice as hard, be twice as good, as a white person to get similar success. Not only should you not cringe when you see a Black pilot flying your plane, you should salute her for the hard-ass work she did to get into that pilot's seat. She is, by facing the fires of racist hell, circle by circle, going to be among the most qualified pilots you could find.

It is blatantly and self-evidently counter-productive to try to segregate certain jobs, any jobs. By definition, the most qualified person should win, no? That's what our supposed meritocracy means?

Then it's about time we faced reality, and recognized that the systems we've built in majority-white Western nations produce top-quality graduates...from the repressed groups. It's human nature. If the representation is less than in public life, then there are fewer spots being chased by the same number of people. That's going to inflate the grade level needed to get in above that of the best students in majority populations. It's just reality. Math.

This is how deep white supremacy colonizes our minds. We buy into these false, self-serving white supremacist beliefs, like "affirmative action means the unqualified will get through".

We as white people in those countries need to do more to unravel these beliefs when we encounter them. You may not convince the bigot in front of you. But you might just sway the ignorant person listening to both of you.

Be safe, but be bold: challenge racism where you see it. And learn to see it better. I will be.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Hey, anyone know of a job opportunity for a brilliant nuclear physicist with skills to pay the bills? She's located in the Bay Area of California in the US. Check her account for a recent post on her outline of her skills:

https://chaosfem.tw/@rooster/112283186578656777

Boosts welcome.

@rooster

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

A friend of mine with a functioning uterus told me recently she was having an IED put in, to keep her from getting pregnant.

I said I thought that was a little extreme, and that maybe an IUD would be better.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

So, a very rare timeline photo from me. I don't have any actual pre-transition pictures, but the one on the right is from after transition but before HRT, when I was 28. The left picture is two months ago, after 28 years of HRT.

A 28-year-old woman with makeup and short auburn curly hair.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

A cis man's take on Trans Day of Visibility and Easter Sunday being on the same day this year. It won't go where you think it will, based on how he looks and talks. Give him a shot, and see if you still feel that way when he's finished talking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTwb0yTuy1E

And special bonus video: He also offered some dating advice a few years ago that has some relevance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0XX6OxfTNs

pluralistic , to random
@pluralistic@mamot.fr avatar

Hard to overstate how enshittified and botshitted Google Maps has become. Went looking for my local locksmith on Gmaps. Maps shows 20+ fake locksmith referral scam outlets and doesn't even register the real locksmith, despite it being fully visible in Street View.

Instead, a red pin on the shop identifies it as a fake locksmith scammer. The real locksmith - which has been there SINCE 1942 (!!) and is a verified merchant - doesn't even show up.

Google Maps, showing the storefront for Golden State Lock as an empty building.

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@tomjennings

I have seen this with taxis (which never see the number on my huge apartment building, drive right past and up the street where their GPS tells them to, wrongly), and with delivery drivers (who often are directed to the back door, which I cannot open remotely for them, by their GPS).

@bougiewonderland @pluralistic @AnnaAnthro

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

I think most people would object to forcing women to wear skirts. Beating up girls who do unladylike things like dancing or calculus. Many can even see how silly it is to tease a boy for enjoying painting more than sports.

Most* get this.

What I don't understand is how it isn't obvious that transphobia is the exact same impulse.

There is no "reasonable" amount of transphobia you can tolerate without also supporting rigid harmful gender norms in general. 1/

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@futurebird

Thank you for this. It's so important to hear.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

I made a new account to cover my second YouTube channel. It's over at chaosfem.tw: @fullmetalfeminist

Feel free to follow, and boost the account; it's where I'll be announcing videos as they drop. Otherwise, it'll be quiet.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

I am fully infertile.

I want to get that out of the way up front, because it's true. I have no dog in the fight.

But I want to state, unequivocally and clearly, that I stand with those who have the equipment for giving birth on the topic of abortion, and IVF, and any other power grabs the right comes up with to control the bodies of birthing people.

For me, it's an issue we as trans people should be fighting as hard for as we fight for our own direct issues. Bodily autonomy applies. It's the same basic issue motivating both anti-trans and anti-abortion campaigners: control of others' bodies.

When we fight for abortion access, we are indirectly and directly still fighting for trans people. We're fighting for trans masc and AFAB enby people to be given full rights over their own bodies. That's the direct path. We're also fighting for the right for all trans people to control our bodies.

So let's stand beside our uterine neighbours, trans women. We are all in the same fight.

oldladyplays OP ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Now, the flip side.

Cis women! It's time you stood up with us to fight for trans rights. It's your fight too.

Why? Because it's all about bodily autonomy. Trans people are fighting for the right to control our own bodies. Sound familiar?

It's the same fight, women. We need your help, just as we give ours. We are in the same fight, and should be shoulder to shoulder about both our sets of issues.

The best way to fight fascism is together. The more of us fighting, the better our chances of winning.

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

It’s not easy to assemble an outfit this boring. An outfit that is so unremarkable it’s remarkable. This the essence of my fashion movement. That’s Bland Fancy.

#borecore #fashion

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@futurebird

It's a great look on you!

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@futurebird

The Anodyne Androgyne.

CultureDesk , to bookstodon group
@CultureDesk@flipboard.social avatar

"Gen Z is bringing back reading," says The Week, which leads us to wonder what the heck it is we've been doing all these years. But, the publication explains, it's not just reading — it's real books, made of paper. Per research published in @TheConversationUS: "Gen Zers and millennials prefer books in print over e-books and audiobooks" which has manifested in an "unlikely love affair with their local libraries." Here's a breakdown of what might be happening. We want to know: How do you like to read these days?

https://flip.it/zJEJAK

@bookstodon

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@CultureDesk @TheConversationUS @bookstodon

Depends if it's night or day. In the day, I'm okay with a print book. At night, I'd much rather have the light off and use an e-reader, it's easier on my eyes and helps me go to sleep faster. Also, falling asleep reading doesn't lose my page.

I have a collection of about 2000 paperbacks, mostly, largely science fiction and fantasy. These days I mostly buy e-books, because I don't have space for more physical books. I can't afford more bookshelves, nor do I have the open wallspace to install them against.

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

Last week the Democrats were the majority on the floor for a vote.

Couldn't they have raised a discharge petition? Kicked out the creepy little speaker in his creepy little suit? Elected a new speaker and passed stuff until enough republicans showed up to stop them???

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@futurebird

Unfortunately, the little weasel would surely have appointed a Speaker Pro Tem if he wasn't there himself, meaning he is the only one who gets to say what comes to the floor. If someone came from the Dems and asked for discharge, he'd have simply said no.

This is the peril of a partisan Speaker, and the reason that Westminster systems have an officially nonpartisan Speaker (chosen from sitting members, but expected to rule in a nonpartisan way in the House).

futurebird , to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

I've been reading some stories about "life in the army" and there's something cheerful and reckless about the life that if you forget what the job is really about might almost sound appealing. Camaraderie. Bawdy jokes. Brothers at Arms.

I have a vague notion that male stoicism is promoted to keep young men starving for human closeness ... so that dying, and killing and giving up your humanity ...at least with some good buddies starts to sound appealing.

oldladyplays ,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@futurebird

As someone who wore their country's uniform (until they kicked me out for being queer), perhaps I can add some perspective.

There's a real emphasis put in the military on being friends with your colleagues. This is because it has long been known that when people fight in wars, they do so not for abstract ideals, not for flag and country, but for the people in the trench beside them. Their buddies.

You never blade your buddy in the army. He or she is going to be the one who has to decide whether to step out into a hail of bullets and haul your wounded ass back to safety...or not.

While there are absolutely camaraderie and good friends available in soup kitchens and other volunteer opportunities, the lack of outside threat means that there isn't the same drive to get along. There's room for drama and feelings.

In uniform, there isn't room for those things. The way of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of one's own death. That makes the job different than almost any other.

Because that's the other secret. You have to care enough about the other members of your side to be willing to put your body in the way of potential lethal harm, in order to do your part in keeping as many of you alive as possible. You try, therefore, to generate a familial feeling within the unit, so that people will have that level of devotion to one another, and will do extraordinary things to help one another. Including sometimes sacrificing their lives to save their buddies. The best way to get someone to be willing to do that is to create that familial feeling.

Is it manipulation? Yes. Are the feelings it generates real nonetheless? Also yes. If you want to look for the conspiracy here, it's in the government failing to provide opportunity enough to young working class kids to make the army an unattractive prospect. If you literally cannot find another way to make a living, then a steady if poor income, with healthcare included, becomes a pretty attractive option.

oldladyplays , to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Well, Google, ya gone and done it.

I just uninstalled Chrome, and installed Firefox. The last two days, YouTube turned to shit on me - won't load videos, is clearly heavily throttled. I switch to Firefox - YouTube works perfectly.

If you've been putting off abandoning Chrome, it's a LOT easier than I expected. Firefox imported my history, my logins/passwords, bookmarks, and so on. Completely painless. Chrome has become thoroughly enshittified. Leave it behind.

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