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countcol

@countcol@mastodonapp.uk

Midlands, UK. Humour, art and interesting stuff. Posts may not all be original. I follow most views without endorsement and I unfollow most non followers. If I follow you it's because I've boosted or favourited a post of yours or you of mine, if you're not happy with that - block me, I'm far too busy to check or care. I block those who argue on here. Ex Cop. LCFC.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

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Gearoid Reidy in Bloomberg, writes 'in an annual poll asking which states Americans regard as their country’s greatest foe, just 4% now say North Korea – down from 51% in 2018 and lower than “the US itself”, which came in at 5%.'
But ignoring North Korea is a mistake. Vladimir Putin is visiting his friend Kim Jong-un for the first time in two decades. Both Countries are already so heavily sanctioned that “the US and its allies have little leverage to punish them further”.

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"You must remember to love people and use things, rather than to love things and use people."
Fulton Sheen

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I've recently joined Jehovah's witnesses, hoping it will open a few doors for me.

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Collectors are going crazy for “celebrity clutter”, says The Guardian. With the fine-art market in a slump, interest in cheaper, less risky pop-culture memorabilia is higher than ever. Freddie Mercury’s moustache comb fetched more than £150,000 at auction, well over its estimate of £400; Elvis’s bible, “complete with scribbled marginalia”, sold for £59,000; and one of John Lennon’s teeth was snapped up by a Canadian dentist for £19,000.

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Writing obituaries is not a gloomy job, says Nigel Farndale in The Times. We recently described Sir Jeremiah Harman as a “rude, lazy, short-tempered, unpredictable” judge, a member of his family got in touch to tell us we’d got him “spot on”.
Euphemisms are used a lot; “an uncompromisingly direct way with the opposite sex” (flasher); “not known to toy with his food” (glutton); “remarkably liberated from the tyranny of ambition” (lazy); “comfortable with confrontation” (complete psycho).

countcol , to random
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Give a person a compliment and you will make them happy for a day.
Teach a person to fish for compliments and you'll make everyone around them miserable.

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Somewhere, a brilliant Laser eye surgeon has a waiting room full of brochures that are just slightly out of focus.

countcol OP ,
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@faab64 amazing. Hope for us all.

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Sperm whales may have their own alphabet, says The New York Times. Unlike the eerie melodies sung by humpbacks, the block-shaped leviathans rattle off click-clacking noises that “sound like a cross between Morse code and a creaking door”. A team of boffins analysed thousands of hours of recordings and found that the marine mammals have a far richer set of sounds that previously thought, with patterns that appear to form a “phonetic alphabet”. Next up: figuring out what they’re saying.

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Some of our most beloved insults may be dying out, says the Daily Mail. When boffins polled 2,000 Britons, they found 62% of under 28s had never heard the premium put-down “lummox”. Among respondents of all ages, 54% didn’t recognise “blighter”, and 51% were hearing “ninny” for the first time. Other at-risk affronts include “cad” (new to 47% of respondents), “tosspot” (36%), “plonker” (25%), “nitwit” (27%) and “git” (26%).

countcol , to random
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Does everone have at least one utensil in their cutlery drawer that they don't like and frown any time they accidentally grab it, but won't throw it away. Or is it just me?

countcol OP ,
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@philip_cardella 😄

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My favourite piece of understatement, says Simon Boas in the Jersey Evening Post, is Japanese Emperor Hirohito’s declaration, after the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, that “the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan’s advantage”.

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When a billionaire dies, who inherits their politicians?

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Beware this Whatsapp scam.
1, You receive an unexpected message from WhatsApp with a verification code.
(Fraudsters have entered your number into WhatsApp triggering the verification code text.)
2, One of your contacts will message via the app, with a story to try to persuade you to give them the code. EG, they’ve entered your number by mistake.
It seems to be from a relative or friend, so people have been tricked into passing on the verification code.
3, Fraudsters take over your account.

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Apparently you can only say 'Look at you, you've got so big' to children. Girl friends tend to be offended.

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"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
John Lennon

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When you reach your destination, but go round the block because the song is just so good.

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At a job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said, "I don't know that one, but I'll have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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Netflix: Are you still watching?
Me: No.
Netflix: Do you want it on in the background anyway to fill the deafening silence of your loneliness?
Me: Yes.

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To save money on storage, buy a pen from Amazon and use the box it came in to store blankets and sheets.

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If one of my posts has offended you, it'll probably happen again.
I'm a repeat offender.

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So, out of all the Martial Arts,
Karaoke inflicts the most pain.

countcol OP ,
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@MaJ1 🤣🤣🤣

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Sharks can swim faster than humans. Humans can run faster than sharks.Therefore in a triathlon it would all come down to who can ride a bike the fastest!

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When the next person walks out of my life I'm going with them, I'm sick of me too.

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Just another day of not being rich and famous.

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The phrase "don't take this the wrong way" has a 0% success rate.

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TVs keep getting bigger, but TV dinners just aren't keeping up.

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Since some people are worried about Alexa listening to their conversations, Amazon is bringing out a male version called Alex. It won't listen to a single word you say.

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I remember when I had a "left knee" and a "right knee" instead of a "good one" and a "bad one".

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It doesn't matter how good the soap smells.
Never come out of the toilets smelling your fingers.

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