@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io cover
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Impossible_PhD

@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io

PhD #trans girl! She/Her, thing explainer and technical writing scholar interested in trans usability studies and design theory. Gender questioning folks are very welcome to message me! ⚢ Married. Opinions mine.

Putting the Homo in Homo Sapiens.

Don't crack eggs. Build nests.

#nobots

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

DivineKestrel , to random
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

Had a dream that I was in bed in a naked sleep cuddle with my wife and our family doc, Maria. Not sure what to do with that.

Impossible_PhD ,
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@DivineKestrel Like... I have ideas, but they'd require friendly bedroom participants. 😕

Impossible_PhD , to random
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I started HRT about three and a half years ago with a very modest goal: when I got out of the shower, dripping wet and with no prosthetics or makeup, I wanted to see a girl.

That's it. That was my whole goal.

I achieved it a while ago, but today I want to take a moment and celebrate the little victories like that, because they're what really matter in transition. So, here's an unflattering picture of me, no filters or makeup or anything, wet and disheveled from the shower.

Happy Pride. 🏳️‍⚧️💜🏳️‍⚧️

Impossible_PhD OP ,
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Aaaaand since you all saw me barefaced, here's my first Pride look of the season!

Impossible_PhD OP ,
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@alice there my first two estrogen vials!

Impossible_PhD , to random
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Okay, I'm doing one of those anonymous AMA thingies! I'm using Google Forms instead of that one app, but it's still 100% anonymous, and I'll be checking and posting replies over the course of the day.

Here's the link to ask or say whatever you want: https://forms.gle/hEwv6eU4CQHWqBeF9

The only stuff I won't respond to are:

  1. Questions about what I've got going on with my pelvis.
  2. Anything that's just being mean.

Everything else is on the table, including stuff I wouldn't usually answer. 😉

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Just as a friendly reminder for anyone not aware:

The British press is not our friend. They, as a rule, do not publish anything, ever, favorable about trans folks, because those who control their content would very much prefer that we didn't exist.

So, if a reporter for, say, The Guardian wants to talk to you?

Don't.

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Jules Gill-Peterson:

"What if feminists didn't reply to the charge that trans women are too sexual, or too feminine, by shrinking trans femininity to prove the accuser's bad faith wrong? What if trans feminism meant saying yes to being too much, not because everyone should become more feminine, or more sexual, but because a safer world is one in which there is nothing wrong with being extra? Abundance might be a powerful concept in a world organized by a false sense of scarcity. What if--

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

One of the scariest parts of coming out is coming out at work. Unlike your family--blood or chosen--work is just a bunch of people who get thrown together, mishmash, and have to make things work out.

This week on , it's a guide to give to your coworkers when they get that wide-eyed look and think "Oh, s#!t, my coworker just told me they're trans." At least, it should keep people from asking what's in your goddamned pants.

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/oh-st-my-coworker-just-told-me-theyre

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

You haven't heard from me on the Cass Report because I'm busy at work, and halfway through the last of the Oh Shit articles. I haven't had a chance to read it in any detail.

But from the skimming I've done, and even early scholarly rebuttals, it sure as hell looks like a textbook example of how to produce sham science, even independent of its impact on trans kids' lives.

aronow , to random
@aronow@hachyderm.io avatar

A question for women of fedi!

I’m working with an organization of professional women who want our trans sisters to know they will be welcome and accepted in the group.

What’s the best way to do this in our media when having events, etc?

Because my brain goes “trans women are women, of course they’re welcome!” but I know that isn’t always the case and want to allay any concerns folks might have about joining.

Are there ways you’ve found to indicate while not othering?

Impossible_PhD ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

@aronow Well... here's the tricky bit.

It's surprisingly common for women's groups to signal that they're trans-inclusive, and they very much want to believe that they are... even though they're really very much not. Trans women will come, see that cisness is centered, and quietly leave.

To paraphrase Audre Lourde, if you make a space genuinely inclusive, where members of a given minority want to be, they will appear. If you look around at your group, and especially at your leadership--

Impossible_PhD ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

@aronow --If you look around at your group, and especially at your leadership, and see few or no trans women, the verdict has already been given. The only way to make a place safe for any minority is to do the work to deconstruct the privilege of the in-group and to honor and center the struggles of minoritized members.

In other words?

The one and only way to show that a group is safe for minoritized people is to do the work of active allyship-as-accompliceship, even though it maybe--

Impossible_PhD ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

@aronow --costs the ally in funding, membership, and so forth, and for that active, continuous, and serious work to demonstrate that your group is a safe place.

And I'm gonna be honest: as a business group, you've got an uphill battle, because trans women especially have gotten the short end of the stick from capitalism in a whole array of ways.

Anyway, this guide might help explain my meaning:

https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/ally-or-accomplice-the-language-of-activism

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Things I keep saying for $100.

We hatch when we're ready, and not a damn day earlier.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL6GeomC/

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

One of the really hard parts about being on the asexual spectrum is once in a while you'll just casually mention a basic fact if your existence, and an allosexual person will tell you with authority & confidence that you're broken. It's always freighted and veiled, but that's the message: your perceptions and feelings are wrong. Be more like us.

And the part that's hardest for me is queer communities are pretty much always worse about it than cishet ones, because queer culture is so sexualized.

Impossible_PhD OP ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

It makes it really really hard to get social or emotional support when you need it on ace stuff, because cishet people lack the vocabulary and awareness, and the overwhelming majority of queer folks view your sexuality as a defect implicitly, if not explicitly.

Leaves a girl feeling very othered.

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Holy shit. I just talked a cis guy on the internet down from "Let kids be kids" and got him to see why gender-affirming care for teens absolutely cannot wait.

This is one of my greatest achievements. I have a legitimate urge to take a victory lap.

Impossible_PhD OP ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

The thing that persuaded him, if you're curious:

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

I got some new earrings.

I feel these on a spiritual level.

Impossible_PhD OP ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Also I got these...

Let's call them "poetically appropriate Pride earrings."

Impossible_PhD , to random
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A friend of mine is getting ready for her FFS and was nervous about whether her forehead reconstruction would live up to her hopes. So, I decided to take a photo in strict profile, so show her my before, the virtual FFS mockup they gave me, and what they actually achieved.

I realized afterwards that this was the first Pic in profile I'd taken since my FFS.

And I was blown away, because what they actually achieved was beyond even my wildest hopes and dreams, brought on by the preview.

image/jpeg

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

If you're questioning, recently hatched, and/or afraid you'll lose your identity in transition:

You'll GAIN your identity. You'll LOSE the 17 trauma responses in a trenchcoat that you think is your identity.

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Presented without comment.

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

So, I'm trying out an asymmetrical French bob. Thoughts?

Impossible_PhD OP ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

@alice Thanks! It looks way better now that it's grown in a bit

Impossible_PhD , to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

The first series on my Substack, Opening the Black Box, is a detailed dive into what it was like to live through the questioning process. We have a lot of accounts of what it's like to and to grow up but it seems like almost all of our accounts of people like me, people who hatched but had no idea before they did, are (ironically) comics.

This is an attempt to change that with my .

https://t.co/6ZhDu7HkMk

Impossible_PhD OP ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

@alice I'm do glad you liked it!!

Impossible_PhD OP ,
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

@alice oh, goodness! Yeah, it got even worse than that as things wore on, but I won't spoil.

I did get tits out of the deal though, so, worth it.

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