I didn't know it was possible for me to love the Hard Times even more! This is fantastic. I especially love these bits:
At this moment Steve starts singing ‘here’s my fist it never fails, when I swing it really sails, when it strikes I want to wail, dieeeeee!!!’ and then he just starts bashing in Dan’s skull
and
At press time, it was reported that a spotted blue puppy was seen in LA carrying around the decapitated head of convicted pedophile and former Nickelodeon employee Brian Peck.
Fuck, I just love it so much. Beautiful! Thanks for posting this here, ZeroCool!