Perhaps we're just not as interesting as we think. Maybe aliens don't want to contact us for the same reason I don't want to contact kids playing in the park: I'm simply uninterested in whatever they're doing.
It's also likely that an alien species capable of interstellar travel doesn't want anything we have. Our resources aren't anything special, they have no need for slave labor and we don't produce anything of interest to them. It's a long drive. Why burn the gas and waste the time?
Why are there scientists here on Earth studying the most boring subjects imaginable to anyone but them? Why does every tiny organism have a small, but dedicated group of scientists studying it at some point?
We must know - we will know! is a quote which represents humanity well. A factually wrong quote since we will not know everything but, an objective nonetheless. Why should other species believe different?
It's not so much that we're boring, it's that we're so far away and not trivial to send mass and energy towards.
I think that a sufficiently advanced civilization that could come over for a visit wouldn't want to.
I also think a sufficiently advanced civilization with the curiosity and desire to learn about us could do so via probes and we'd never know they visited us.
Rare Earth by Peter Ward is what you're after here. I took an elective in college that effectively was reading a bunch of space science (and history, it was odd) and discussing. This one caught me off guard but was a decent breakdown of a possible answer to Fermi.
I don't necessarily agree with the supposition, mainly because it still comes from a place of specifically carbon-based life as the end goal. But they do lay out reasoning in an easy to understand way that was super neat to learn.
"It's like winning the lottery," Taras Gerya, a geophysicist at the research university ETH Zurich in Switzerland and an author of the study, told Mashable. "It can be so rare that we don't have much of a chance to be contacted," added Gerya, who coauthored the study with Robert Stern, a geoscientist at the University of Texas at Dallas. -article
