gf wants total silence

It's a sunny day, we're outside, good mood, drinking a coffee. I try to strike a conversation, my gf says its too early for philosophical discussions. I tell her we can instead talk about whatever she feels like. She says she doesn't want to talk about anything. We weirdly sit in silence for a while. I tell her it's weird to me, we argue. Is this normal?

Lmaydev ,

It's called comfortable silence and is totally normal. Sometimes it's nice to just sit together and prepare for the day.

Given they said "it's too early for philosophical discussions" seems like you were doing some big talk while they just wanted to wake up a bit.

Constant talking all the time would drive me mad personally.

grabyourmotherskeys ,

Don't fight over things like this. Seek to understand. Respect her. Ask yourself how you would want her to react if you told her you needed some time in silence.

This is something you should discuss with her in a calm way, after this moment has passed. What if you had done as she asked? Maybe you would have a better conversation if you took that time to think about what she wanted and why. Not from your perspective, from hers.

This isn't a man/woman or relationship issue. This is the kind of thing you'll encounter over and over. They are asking you to put their need for silence over your need for interaction. If, over the course of several instances if this, you decide you can't spend your time with a person who doesn't love chatting as much as you, that is a legit reason to go your separate ways and no hard feelings. But, really, you're going to deal with countless things like this in all your relationships (not just romantic). You have to balance the incompatible aspects with the compatible. Nobody is perfect and you can learn things about yourself from the incompatibilities. No reason to argue and fight. Just say what you are feeling and try to stay calm and open to hearing their side.

OGKludge ,

Sitting in comfortable silence is completely normal. Some people need to practice not filling every moment with conversation.

Tenshi OP ,

I guess you're right...

shootwhatsmyname ,
@shootwhatsmyname@lemm.ee avatar



Peafield ,

I struggled with this for a long time. I grew up in a house where silence meant something was wrong. My partner helped me understand that's not the case. Sometimes it's nice just to be together and do nothing.

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