jerry ,
@jerry@infosec.exchange avatar

I was just thinking about how I am a waiter to my cat. And if there were a Yelp for cats, I am pretty sure Thor’s review of me would go like this:

“Zero stars. Makes me wait far too long for my food to arrive, and when it does, it’s NOT what I ordered. Why won’t they listen to me!?! I like FISH, not chicken.

I get treated like this and then I’m expected to snuggle? I think not. This is why he is my spare human.”

smxi ,
@smxi@fosstodon.org avatar

@jerry My cat just thinks I made a mistake. So he asks Why did you leave a pile of stinking excrement on my plate? I know you humans have no working sense of smell but even you should be able to register the stench! How about getting some actual food buddy? I'll help you! I know you didn't mean to give me this toxic sludge!

He leaves his online activities to placing stealth orders for food he likes on Amazon or Chewey.

WowSuchCyber ,
@WowSuchCyber@toot.zof.sh avatar

@jerry have you seen the sad cat diaries from Ze Frank? https://youtu.be/PKffm2uI4dk?si=q6ZjIJSPxarvGZfJ

nonproductive ,
@nonproductive@mastodon.social avatar

@jerry I was thinking the other day that we supposedly domesticated dogs to help us yet somehow we ended up working 60hrs a week while they lay on the couch.

Starting to wonder if they actually domesticated us…

jerry OP ,
@jerry@infosec.exchange avatar

@nonproductive they played the long game

nonproductive ,
@nonproductive@mastodon.social avatar

@jerry Right? I bet they’d all vote republican too…
“Women should be at home! (Giving me snacks)”
“Protect the border! (From coyotes)”
“Kids should be home schooled! (And dropping cereal on the floor)”

randshell ,
@randshell@infosec.exchange avatar

@jerry Yep. And when I call him, he comes because he agrees too, otherwise nada. It's like, cat's plans need to align with yours for them to do what you're asking them. xD

fencepost ,
@fencepost@infosec.exchange avatar

@jerry I tried one of the refrigerated 'fresh' foods for ours as a possible replacement for kibble (she also gets wet food) and it appeared to be a definite "oh hell no" after nothing but a sniff.

snkhan ,
@snkhan@infosec.exchange avatar

@jerry Looking forward to this New York Times Bestseller.

XEJKnol ,
@XEJKnol@infosec.exchange avatar

@jerry I suspect all of our cats would rate us with 0 stars for the exact same reasons

EmperorHenry ,
@EmperorHenry@infosec.exchange avatar

@jerry A cat waiter?! I'll have fancy feast chicken shreds!

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