"Well, Judge, I purchased each pair at such a high price because my client, Mr. Ivan Oligarchsky, believed them to actually be solid gold and has no desire to return them."
"What's that? Oh, yes, the same is true of Sam Saudi, the other party I represented. He is also satisfied and would just like this whole thing to go away."
"As to my own culpability in assisting this alleged, ALLEGED, skirting of political fundraising guidelines (we don't like the term 'laws') I was acting as a broker for the rightful President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, so I declare immunity."
"Yes, I have seen The Office, why do you ask?"
"Mostly livestock law, you know 'was it coyotes or the damn Hendersons', but I have done some real estate for family. It's a small town. Very conservative. Not much call for lawyering."