gandalf_der_12te ,
@gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

It's so true, it's not even funny.

intensely_human ,

Lowe’s current corporate strategy in a nutshell

RememberTheApollo_ ,

Should have started with 3 horses (problem), added a 4th (solution), then added the management and made it 2 horses (corporate).

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

Have you tried... holding more meetings, where you can make a plan to plan to make a plan to make a plan to somehow magically get the work done?! 🪄🧙‍♂️

Failing to make a plan is planning to fail after all! End of sentence, certainly nothing more possibly needs to be added...

gandalf_der_12te ,
@gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Reminds me of Java FactoryTemplateProducer.

lightnegative ,

ApplicationAwareCurrentConfigContext.getCurrentContext().getBean(BeanFactoryFactoryBean.class)

masquenox ,

The obvious solution is for the horse to kick the driver's head to smithereens and appropriate the wagon.

LazyBane ,

When I worked as a cleaner at a supermarket I got moved to the evening shift which used to have two people who got laid off.

I was on my own and it quickly became apparent that the shift needs two people to actually get everything done. I pointed it out, but the section lead (incompetent nepohire who was literally kicked out of every other section for being a terrible leader) just decided I was being slow.

Even after I broke down the hour per hour workload, they just insisted I had to learn how to work faster. One "tip" they had was to just throw water everywhere and mop it up to save time. Let's not even get to the "mental health ping-pong table" they have.

Whenever I visit that supermarket today it still looks filthy.

gandalf_der_12te ,
@gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Yeah, when CEO's tell you they're "currently understaffed" or you just need to "work faster" chances are 90% they just want to cut down wage costs.

SouthEndSunset ,

If you aren’t overstaffed, you’re understaffed.

SouthEndSunset ,

I did a few weeks for a using a bailer to crush cans. The team lead had worked out that you could do one pallet every 20 minutes. You could, if you did one pallet, but as you did more things backed up.

OhStopYellingAtMe ,
@OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world avatar

Every corporate environment I’ve worked in would promote the horses to the whipping positions, and then outsource the cart-pulling to underpaid oxen from India.

henfredemars ,

What we’re gonna do is fire two of the horses but the departments going to keep the same workload.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

if you're feeling over stressed then stop by our mental health station where you can have FIFTEEN MINUTES of PAID QUIET TIME as often as once per day AND a FREE CUPCAKE!!!

(quiet time and free cupcake vouchers require a one time signature of a release form stating that The Company provided you with free mental health counseling and are henceforth no longer liable for any future mental health issues you may experience in perpetuity)

LETS MAKE IT A GREAT DAY AT THE COMPANY!!!

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

Now, get out there and kill, kill, kill.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

Wasn't expecting a Dungeon Crawler Carl reference on Lemmy, which is weird because you'd think it'd fit in with a bunch of lefty ubernerds.

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

I'm just happy to know that others got it.

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

In India, you get bonus SSRIs alongside your cupcake to keep you in line.

Courtesy, your friendly neighbourhood perpetually high psycho(iatrist)

SouthEndSunset ,

When I worked at an Amazon warehouse, they had signs in all the toilets telling us we could go and see someone if our mental health was bad. If someone’s mental health was bad it was probably due to their shitty management, work practices, or pay.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

I'm always wary of talking to any mental health professionals who are employed by the company that caused the mental health issues to begin with

DragonTypeWyvern ,

As you should be. Same for the "anonymous reporting."

SouthEndSunset ,

Seems like sensible advice. I can’t imagine you’d get much from those conversations. Honestly, that was the most demoralising job I’ve ever had. Like I couldn’t face going in for over time bad.

MrJameGumb ,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

I did overtime once and swore never again

Zehzin ,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Those 3 extra drivers were originally mud cleaners

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

But they sucked at cleaning the mud. Instead of firing them and increasing turnover, they promoted them to newly created positions and hired others at a lower wage to compensate for the wage increase of the newly minted Executive Mud Cleaners.

GrymEdm , (edited )
@GrymEdm@lemmy.world avatar

HR has set this break aside for people to appreciate our corporate family, so get to it!

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2d1c5bda-9f81-44ba-8b63-e971a6d116e0.jpeg

FunkyMonk ,

You made another 100k for the company, here is 40$ worth of pizza for you not knowing the word union

RGB3x3 ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/51e48b1c-e5dc-45c6-93c2-7e2be8584183.jpeg

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